The M-Way
Slip road turns into acceleration lane from here on in rule 163 does not apply
Flashing overheads, heavy rain, the M-Way is yours simply fly!
A sudden impact paranoia theory it's the M-Way conspiracy
It's a cocktail of cowboys and stupidity this is the M-Way conspiracy
It's hell on earth from a to b Seventy Mph and everybody's over taking me
Boiled sweet stuck to a plastic seat
Driver's had enough whatever happens don't guff
Nurtered secretly by government hierarchy
Filed under population control
It's a straight forward nightmare theory
The M-Way conspiracy
Coach's lurch like fairground rides all covered in dents and scratches down the sides
Man in a transit has no speed limit, tyres as bald as Duncan Goodhew
Tax disc's in the post it's well overdue, no mirror, signal, manoeuvre he won't give you a clue
Headlights flash, there's a gap make a dash, return the one finger salute as flailing motorists hoot
The air ambulance gives you a fighting chance to ease the guilt pending someones existence
Fingers crossed 'cause even so the nearest hospital's a bloody long distance!
Hired vans rattle like empty tin cans, a speeding juggernaut that's never been caught
Second lane monopoly 'cause I'm an HGV, inside laners clutch wheels and hang on frantically
M-Way turbulence remember your stopping distance, was that an exit? shit! we just missed it
The next service station's forty miles down the road and my bladders about to explode
Join the hard shoulder cannon fodder, the fast lane losers now nervous wreck cruisers
Now there's a five mile tail back and I wonder if we've anything left on the roof-rack?
The M-Way conspiracy it can't be just a paranoia theory
Family man in speeding caravan with wife and kids in the back but still the air turns blue
Cuss, cuss, cuss that stalling mini bus and risk a gen' of lives for a Butlins rendezvous
Can you hear that knocking sound? Eyes on the road or we're central reservation bound
Flashing blue lights pulled up by traffic divsion time for a lecture about your road position
Straight ahead don't forget to signal, dodge the traffic cones and pray for your homes
Hell
MtM 1995