Slouch Bobby Davro's Worst Nightmare Last week I was swinging your granny around my ears Next thing I was in a gay bar hanging from the chandeliers Now I'm in a drying out clinic choking back my tears I don't know which fucked me up the most alcohol or being the ordinary peoples show host I don't know which fucked me up the most alcohol or being the ordinary peoples show host I don't know which fucked me up the most Now here's uncle Ted from Llandudno He's waited three whole years just to get on the show He did a ten mile charity run dressed as a ballerina  and he did it on tip toe well what do you know I don't know which fucked me up the most alcohol or being the ordinary peoples show host I don't know which fucked me up the most alcohol or being the ordinary peoples show host I don't know which fucked me up the most Ch...ch...ch...choking in the green room Has anyone got a comb? I've got to interview a man with a heart transplant who can play trombone Given the choice I know where I'd rather be....with a bottle back home (break) Oh don't phone up old Bobby Davro 'cause he won't wanna know I don't know which fucked me up the most alcohol or being the ordinary peoples show host I don't know which fucked me up the most alcohol or being the ordinary peoples show host I don't know, I don't know Just taking stock of it all in the mirror It's nothing make up can't sort out with a little bit of powder They used to do Hammer House Of Horror I don't know which fucked me up the most alcohol or being the ordinary peoples show host I don't know which fucked me up the most alcohol or being the ordinary peoples show host and if I'm not careful the tabloids will make out that I'm fucked up beyond all reasonable doubt and I'll end up on some lunch time slot presenting shit like Turnabout Thought I'd sorted out my life but I still get calls on my ansaphone from my estranged wife complaining about a lack of dinner dates with the likes of Bruce Forsyth MtM 1994