No 'fuckin' El
Have you ever thought of suicide when feeling so low?
Have you ever thought of Michael Lush? what a way to go
Here's a cheery remedy when you're feeling depressed and down
Just think there's always a bigger dick than you a real human clown
The thought of the Late, Late Breakfast Show a whole hour with Noel
Well I'd rather pull out my own eyes or go and rot in hell
Noel Edmunds the gullible human clown
Noel Edmunds I think of you when I'm down
Noel Edmunds 'Tedius' is your crown
Noel Edmunds I need a laugh when I'm down
Two more families demonstrate their worthlessness on his show
TV Addicts, laugh with Edmunds, life hits an all time low
I can't comprehend how 'cuddly' Noel thrives and does so well
I can't get the mentality that makes the bastard sell
Those distant mornings watching Swap Shop seem so far away
It seems so unfair that Noel's still alive and with us to this day!
Noel Edmunds the gullible human clown
Noel Edmunds I think of you when I'm down
Noel Edmunds 'Tedius' is your crown
Noel Edmunds I need a laugh when I'm down
There's always someone worse off than yourself
MtM 1990