| First love "Would you really forget your first love ?" She asked, "Is it really possible to forget about him ?" I listened and thought... Have I really forgotten about him ? I asked myself. I mourned, for 13 long years, I mourned, I lost him to another woman. I blamed, I blamed myself for losing him to another woman. I have long forgotten how tear tastes like, for there is no more tear since ages ago. How did I survive for all those years ? I have no clue, you tell me. There were guys in and out, passing, running across my life in the past 13 long years. I just didn't see them in a passionate way. Or I should say, I am crippled emotionally. I always compared them with him, the perfect image I have for him. Needless to say, no one is perfect. I sometime ask myself, how life would be if I have done differenly. What if... It is not easy to rip your emotion out of your brain. After all, we are made of flash and blood. That's why we are human. How ironic it is ! I think of him, from time to time. I am as useless as you can imagine. You are no better than I in any way of measurement regarding this sort of incidents. Not even God, if he does exist, can get away from it. But I think, I have to move on, for the family and friends that care for me. I am more important. A new love deserves my undivided attention and loyalty. A new life is ahead of me and I shall not be alone. I said to myself. He is forever gone. Just gone. |