| Fear ( Sep-20-2002 ) This morning, at the end of meeting, Scott said I did good. It was the first time ever I was told right on the spot that I did good at that kind of meeting. A meeting full of 6-foot-tall American big guys with me as the tiny tini bit. They said, there was no one ever stood up in front of that manager and made his/her point taken by him like I did. Heaven knows I was scared. I am still trying to recover from last night's car accident. Fear is there, just masked. How much I wish I could take a deep breath and tell someone that I am told I did good ? I guess you will never know because I apparently didn't tell anyone first but write it done here. Am I being cocky ? No way, between the lines, I want to say how scared I was and I am now and I need someone to smooth my feathers. Pat my shoulders like a puppy. I need a deep breath, arms to run into, to share the whole excitment at work. Then the fear will take wings and get put away. I want to hear "everything will be fine" for once, from someone that has faith in me truly and take me as I am, not just want to change me to "meet their spec". I know I did good this morning. They thought I am fearless to stand up in front of VP, Sr. director, managers. What they don't know is, I am actually very scared, the fear, just well-hidden... |