~The Beginning~

So please if ever in doubt with any of your medical care please seek a second opinion ASAP

In the Beginning there was I found out i was pregnant at 10 weeks. It was a mircle, we had waited 6 long years and never gotten pregnant on our own. I had to use Clomid to get pregnant. My Dr. explained that since i did not have my period, i never ovulated. Some other tests were ran and i was told i had PCOS and it will be hard to achive a healthy pregnancy on my own.

Well we agreed to try the clomid, i took it like i was prescribed, when it came time to test, i recived a negitive on my pregnancy test. I went to the Dr. and was given a test, it too was negitive and i was told to wait a bit more and if i did not start then i would be given a medicine to bring on a period. I did not want to go that way, and decided that if no pregnancy was achived, then I would go no further.

The next test i took was again negitive too, so i gave up. When my period never arrived i thought nothing diffrent. As you see i dont get a period except 2-3 times a year (IF THAT). I became sick on a regular basis. I did not know what was wrong. I went to the Dr. and had blood tests run and never heard back from the Dr. so i thought i was fine.

One day i got so sick i could not work, i called in to work and went to the Dr. the Dr. came back and went over my lab work with me and explained that all was fine except i was pregnant!!! Imagine my suprise, all the tests i took were negitive, was the test for real? why had i not been notified of these results? I was told that due to the paper not printing clear enough, my results were never called in to me. (boy what a lame excuse) this was the first of many mess ups through-out my pregnancy that resulted i nmy son dieing.

The Dr. had me take a pregnancy test and and it came out positive, imagine my supprise.

This web site was made for my son, the son that i wil never hold in my arms again, the son i will never lay eyes on again, the son who was born in to silence and love, for Danny and I truly Loved him with all of our hearts and souls, and to tell his story the way it happened, this way maybe it wont ever happen again.

When i started having trouble with my pregnancy and the DR in charge of my care refused to listen to me, I should have RAN to another DR for my care, instead I tried reasoning with myself, after all he is a OB/GYN and I have not gone to medical school, so why not follow the DR as he should know best right? WRONG!!!!

Drs are human and they can also be know it all jerks who down play your symptoms I will say that this DR in particular has done this to 2 possibly 3 other women (2 moms with tragic outcomes for sure) this DR is still in practice today. we have tried suing and ran into run around, we have all of my medical records to prove EVERYTHING, and when we tried placing a complaint with the hospitals in particular where he practices DH got the run around from the office, I just recently found the web site for to place a complaint against the DR medical record but since so much time has passed since the incident I don't know if I can place a complaint with them or not?!?

At the end of my pregnancy the DR would lecture me on how going natural into labor was the best for the baby. ok that sounded great. he had me walking to help move things along and other things to.

After it was confirmed my water had broken 3 days later in the office I asked the DR questions and he got even more weird after I confronted him in his office as to why was he not doing anything since my water was broke, I was told I need to relax and let labor come naturally to have sex and follow his directions and let labor just come naturally. One thing a person in this situtation  needs to do, is listen to their heart.

There is a time and a place to listen to a Dr., but, then there is time to get the hell away from the quacks. and that BASTARD is a fucking QUACK

The DR who was suppose to be my OB killed you my son. I am sorry I wish death on that DR any day myself. you are not the only baby he has killed, there have been at least 2 other babies murdered by his hand and lack of doing his job.

The DR who was suppose to care for me and you is a murderer none different. one other baby that died by his hands was a co-worker of mine and we found each other when it was to late. and the other full term baby's mom/family lives here locally.

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On 09-09-2000 it was confirmed by a nurse at the hospital by doing a Nizitrine Paper test that my water had indeed broke the DR was called I was told to walk around the hospital and get contractions going stronger as I was told I was in early labor.  Every time they checked me on the monitor my contractions were not doing much.  Finally they told me and dh that I was in early labor and I had a high leak and to go home that (your head was acting like a cork and stopping the rest of the water from coming out.) and get labor started on my own and come back when they got worse.  HA that never happened.


I went home and for the next several days I never had constant contractions.  On 09-15-2000 I tried walking to Ashley's school to get contractions going when I got there to her school the side walk was bad (broken and Jagged pieces) and I fell down hard on my side and your daddy took me to the hospital where they checked out you my son, the DR was called because a nurse told me that you had a bad de-cell in your heart rate and she was concerned.  The DR told her to release me anyway.  They, the hospital sent me home.

09-20-2000 around 7-8pm I was doing my kick counts as instructed by the Dr., for that was the last time I felt you move, as I have thought back through the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and now years I felt you struggle for your life. I felt you DIE and never knew it till it was to late.  And I am so sorry.  So very very sorry.


09-21-2000 I woke up and realized that you had not moved in awhile so I drank some O.J. since I knew you liked it (made you move allot huh) I ate breakfast in an attempt to get you moving.  I even moved your hinny around as it was easy to do, nothing.  I called the DR I was told by the nurse and I quote 'if your really that concerned come in for fetal heart tones' as I was heading out the door the dumb-ass nurse called back and said go to hospital get NST (Non-Stress Test).

Well, at the hospital they could not find your heart rate, something that had been so easy to find before was now impossible to locate. They called for the sono machine. I kept begging to please find your heart rate, they kept looking.  So finally after what felt like them looking forever for your heart rate they brought in a sono machine to find your heart rate, the nurse looked and looked, I  begged for her to tell me they found the heart beating, the nurse lied and said she had to go get a DR, and left the room, I begged some more, pleading with god him self to make this nightmare disappear and find my baby's heart rate, finally a Dr. came into the room looked at the machine and looked for the heart rate, I was finally told my nightmare was true, my baby was dead.  Yes, you were gone. 

The Dumb-ass OB was called, he took his ever sweet time in getting to the hospitial, when he finally arrived he tells me, and I quote "these things happen" "No one always knows why it happens, but it does happen" BULL SHIT. Oh how I wanted to hurt him so bad at that moment. DUMB-ASS Dr. again wanted to send me home again to start labor on my own.  You see, I should have listened to my heart when everything kept happening and changed Dr's but he was a Dr. and he was suppose to be caring for me. I DEMANDED to be induced. he tried to as he put Break my water but there was nothing to break. 

Contractions went fast I went from a 0-10 in just 3hrs and that was with your birth. You came out perfect!! But you were so still and so quiet. You looked like you were sleeping. I could not understand, I demanded to know why when my water broke, why weren't you taken then? They explained to us that the reason why I had no water at all to give birth with was because you had died. That is why I had to have a dry birth. I proved later by a maternal fetal Dr. that that is a lie I should never have been left to go into labor on my own and NST's should have been every 1-2 days after my water had broken.


I'm so sorry... I want you home where you belong, tormenting your big sister and little brothers, getting kisses for your boo-boos and getting in trouble like all little boys do. You have my blonde hair and your daddy's nose.
you were born at 8pm on September 21, 2000 I never slept that night. We got to spend the evening with you, till they came for you at 3 AM in the morning, so you could go for your autopsy. The next morning I requested to leave the hospital I was told no.  Around noon I told the nurse if you don't release me I am walking AMA (Against Medical Advise) that is when they did release me we left at 1pm and went strait to Davis Funeral chapel and picked out your little white casket we got the best one there was. This was on a Friday, your funeral was that following Tue the 26th. Alot of people came, your grandpa said we had a real good turn out i'm still not sure what that ment.

Any way you would be 2 1/2y now, lets see you should be walking. talking, running, yelling, learning things you should not be knowing and learning things you should be knowing.

I LOVE YOU NATHIAN LEE ALEXANDER D
MY DEAR SWEET TUMMY BUMPER

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
FOREVER

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~Without Nathian~  

 

Nathian's ~3rd Birthday~
I tell you it Fucken sucks to have to go to the cemetery for your son's birthday party, and so we could all be together

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9/21/2003 Today is your 3rd birthday. we were there to see you. Jared loves your balloons, he wanted to run thru them allot. Sissy picked you out a pooh bear balloon and mommy and daddy and Jared got you the others, Jared picked out the race car balloon I miss you so much Nathian, your about to become a big brother, as momma is having another brother for you and sissy and Jared to. I love you Nathian, i love you so much, happy birthday big boy.!