.:Who?:.
Eu, Danielle
Toste, desde 17 de março de 1986.
Residente do ABC
Paulista a partir dai.
Cumprindo deveres
diarios como Assistente de Importação.
Estudante de Direito, cheia de ideologias, acredita em justiça, não importa o que digam por ai. Utopica as vezes, porque não?
Fé nas pessoas, sim! Mudar o mundo esta nas nossas mãos, basta querer de verdade, e estar disposto a sacrificar algumas coisas por isso.
.:Loves:.
Gatos, Musica, Arte, Livros, Amigos, RPG, Direito, Pessoas queridas, Familia, Bjo, Chocolate quente no frio, Franja, Carinho, Sonhos, Changeling, Abraço, Picnic, Patins, Sorvete, Fadas, Suco de uva, Pessoas interessantes, Conversas inteligentes, Desabar na cama depois de um dia longo, Dormir, Sorrisos. Quando tudo da tão errado que acaba dando certo.
.:Hates:.
Chuva, Medo, Ficar doente, Homofobia, "bad hair day", Hipocresia, Preconceito, Rotulos, Pessoas que maltratam outras pessoas, Quem odeia Gatos, Domingo na hora de dormir. Quando as coisas tem tudo para dar certo e dão tudo errado.
.:Places:.
Fotolog
> GrrrlStuff
Orkut > Grrrl Interrupted
Lilika's
Den
Nay - My Bride
Carol - Luanin
Pinuotoons.com
.:Shelter:.
Blog
> Blogger.com
Comments > Haloscan
Missing...
I do miss a lot of things in my life. Specialy my childling days, when I was innocent above all and the dreams were as beatifull as dreams can be. I miss the free time I had, I wish I've done more with it; I miss all the energy, the faith, the passion.
But right now one of the things that I miss the most is believing, I used to believe in so many things, and as much as I consider myself a believer still, there's no way that I can compare the felling. It seems, as I grow up that a certain cynicism slowly approches my heart, it gets harder to believe in everything.
As life hurts us (or we hurt ourselves in life) we close our hearts, we give up before we even try, we forget that we've got nothing to lose, this is the one life we have (or the one we'll remember) and the loss is as much of a part of the game as the winning, and we need both, we need the tears as much as the laughs.
There's nothing wrong in growing up, most of the time I even like the person I became, most of the time I'm glad for everything. But still, I really miss the dreams, havinga a life that dont require any construction, no worries, no troubles. I miss believing in the tooth fairy, I miss playing with myself, I miss my imaginary friends, I miss the pretend game, I miss being the princess, the hero, the witch, the beauty.
And though I think I still believe a lot in people (and sometimes is easier to believe in fairies than in human beings), but I miss the way I believed in they, like nothing could go wrong, ever.
Drawn by CursedGrrrl
at 3/31/2006 04:50:00 PM
I dont know what forever means
Or maybe I do know. Maybe I just dont understand what it represents, or that it can be more than just an ideia, mor than just a concept. What I do know is "as long as it lasts" and you may think, or hope, or expect that it really will last forever.
I see a lot of concepts and I think of what they can mean, I think about all the things that are said, the things that we make up. Even the world didn't last forever it's holding on to it's existency so far, and "so far" is not forever.
I think of all the idealizations that people make, that they want to "be happy forever", "love forever", "be friends forever" and so on, and maybe they don't realise that at the moment but just by using the forever they make these dreams impossible, because forever is more than anyone / anything can have.
I'm glad for all the great things I have in my life, and even my love who is the sweetest person I ever had in my life, whom i couldn't love more and I coudnt be more thankfull for, when I have to say forever I aways say "Today I think I could love you forever, today I want to stay with you forever" because to me that's how extensive forever can be, as far as a impression, as far as a felling that may fade away tomorrow (because we really can not be sure of nothing in the future) but today it is as strong as an eternity could be, today it could go all the way to the neverending times, but then again this forever is just the strength of a impression that may only last a moment.
Maybe there's someplace or there can be a forever, where things can be eternal for more than today, for more than a moment. But right here, right now, I don't know what forever means. I know the felling of thinking in "forever terms" but no further, I haven't seen forever, all that may have seen so far is "My hole life" and even that can change tomorrow.
Drawn by CursedGrrrl
at 3/21/2006 03:57:00 PM
Je voudrais pas crever
Eu não acho que eu seja alguem que tem medo de morrer, na maior parte do tempo eu tenho mais medo de "não morrer". De sofrer um acidente me estabacar e ficar em estado vegetativo, de sentir muita dor, de estragar algo ou alguem, esse tipo de coisa que pode acontecer se você fica numa situação de risco de vida mas não morre.
De qualquer maneira, eu tava lendo um poema que é letra de uma musica "Je voudrais pas crever" que significa "Eu não queriria morrer" (I wouldn't wanna die). O poema segue meio que o raciocionio "Eu não queriria morrer sem ter ...". Dai comecei a pensar algumas coisas nessa linha de raciocionio. Existem tantas coisas que eu gostaria de ver antes de morrer que acho que é até dificil inumerar. Acho que eu não queriria morrer sem ter tido uma chance de fazer alguma coisa, sabe, pelo menos tentar fazer alguma coisa, ajudar alguem de alguma maneira tão importante que me fizesse sentir plena. Mudar algo que eu soubesse que é errado e que fizesse mal a muita gente. Ainda assim (e eu estou escrevendo isso pela segunda vez hoje) se eu morresse hoje, nesse exato momento, eu iria em paz, sem ressentimentos, sem arrependimentos, eu iria feliz, satisfeita e realmente grata pela vida que eu tive.
Seguem os pedacinhos da musica que eu achei mais bonitinhos (em ingles)
"I wouldn't want to die
Not knowing if the moon
Behind its fake nickel look
Has a sharper side
If the sun is cold
If the four seasons
Are really only four
(...)
And there iz also
Everything I know
Everything I like
That I know that I like
The green bottom of the sea
Where the seaweeds waltz
On the rippled sand
The burnt grass in June
The crackling earth
The smell of conifers
And the kisses of the one
(...)
Her mouth with my mouth
Her body with my hands
The rest with my eyes
(...)
I wouldn't want to fade
Without someone inventing
Eternal roses
The two hour day
The sea at the mountain
The mountain at the sea
The end of pain
Newspapers in color
All children happy
And so many other tricks
That sleep inside the brains
Of genius engineers
Of jovial garderners
Of concerned socialists
Of urban urbanists
And of thoughtful thinkers
So many things to see
To see and to hear
So much time to wait
Searching in the dark
(...)
I wouldn't want to die
No sir no madam
Before having tested
The taste which torments me
The taste which is the strongest
I wouldn't want to die
Before having tasted
The flavour of death... "
Drawn by CursedGrrrl
at 3/06/2006 04:20:00 PM