Jury Duty Judge: whould the prosicuting attouny please stand? Rikku's Attourny: Little Jimmy Urine: Judge: state you case. Rikku's Attourny: the defendant attempted suicide he is believed to be in critcal condition, and unsafe to society. Judge:...okay. and the defendant? Daron: my client is mearly under stress. he has had quite a few attempts on his life already and has nothing but the clothes on his back... Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(not even that) Judge: procicuter, your witness. Rikku's Attourny: i'd like to call my client to the stand Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Rikku's Attourny: Rikku's Attourny: how long have you known the defendant? Rikku: on and off for about a year or so. he seems to be a regular at the hospital... Rikku's Attourny: and can you tell me what were the usual reasons? Rikku: seems to me like self inflicted injuries. he's been in for a gun shot wound and he never told who did it, his wrist needed massive reconstructive surgery... um... Rikku: he's been beaten by pimps and 'costomers' to near death, we've found him outside the ER a few times, left by someone and him with no memory. drug overdoses, um... HIV attacks... and this last suicide attempt. Rikku's Attourny: and while the defendant was in the hospital, was he in critical mental condition, in your opinion? Rikku: being an experianced nurse... we have lost him a few times on the table. he's a very lucky man... Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(not lucky enough) Rikku: but mentally, we've also lost him.. Rikku: all the drugs he puts into his tiny body... it's a wonder how he can still be alive. Rikku: he's bean beaten, from what i've heard, proposed beatings. he asked his batterer to do it... Little Jimmy Urine: Rikku's Attourny: can, you tell me, if you know, what kind of drugs the defendant had in his bodily system? Kevin Neil: Rikku: oh, um, definately weed and speed seem to be a favorite of his. one a mellower and one and upper. he doesn't know how to mix them properly... he's also been known to have crack on many occasions and traces of ecstacy and acid. there was one occasion where we found some sort of homemade drug. no name for it, but it seems to have the same effects of speed. Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(that was one creative day...) Daron: Rikku's Attourny: did the defendant appear to take the drugs regulrly? Rikku: oh, yes. definately. there's never been a visit without some drug to blame. Rikku's Attourny: Little Jimmy Urine: Rikku's Attourny: thank you. you may step down Little Jimmy Urine: Rikku's Attourny: your witness Rikku's Attourny: Daron: Daron: can you point out in this room, the man that attacked you? Rikku: Daron: may the jury note that the witness pointed to james euringer. Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: now, miss talvia, what leads you to believe that my client is guilty of what you accuse? can you set the scene? Rikku: yes, sir. i was making my rounds with the sponge the day in question. Rikku: i had closed his door for privacy as i do for all of the patients at the hospital Rikku: i was in the process of helping his untie his issued gown when out of the blue he spinks around and... Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: Rikku: he just hit me over the head with a tray... Daron: it's alright.... Kevin Neil: that's BULLSHIT! sorry... Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(what the fuck is this shit!?) Judge: order!!! Kevin Neil: Daron: did you think he was mad at the time or did he have just cause do you think? Rikku: well... i can't think of anything that i could have done to make him so upset... Daron: that is all, you may step down. Daron: the defendant asks to bring his first witness. Kevin Neil: .o0(i thought he was supposed to be defnding jimmy...) Little Jimmy Urine: i did? Little Jimmy Urine: ...ok Daron: kevin neil? please take the stand. Kevin Neil: oh okay... Daron: what is your relationship with the defendant? Kevin Neil: i..i'm his boyfriend Jury: Kevin Neil: he lives...with me Daron: have you two had sexual relations recently? or in the past? Little Jimmy Urine: objection! Judge: he's YOUR councel, mr.euringer... Little Jimmy Urine: that's not crutial to the trial! Judge: are you going somewhere with this? Kevin Neil: is that question..uh...relevant to the case? Daron: yeah, yeah. i'm getting to something... Kevin Neil: Judge: over ruled. sit down mr.euringer. Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: uhm...yes.... Kevin Neil: Daron: so you did have sexual intercourse with this man here? Kevin Neil: yeah... Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: are you aware of any disfunctional problems with mr.euringer, such as addictions, illness, affairs, or obsessions? Kevin Neil: i-i.... Little Jimmy Urine: .o0 (fuck! what's going on here? he's he's trying to get me in to worse trouble!!!) Daron: Kevin Neil: .o0(fuck! what do i do?!) Daron: did you hear the question, mr.neil? do you need it repeated? Kevin Neil: no... Kevin Neil: i heard you Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: jimmy...always...seemed normal to me...everyone else has ...problems Daron: define a normal day in the life of mr.euringer from your point of view? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: when i came to see him at the asylum...he didn't seem...insane...he seemed lonely he just wanted to be home... Kevin Neil: Daron: before he went to the asylum... how did he act? Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: he...he seemed to be in some emotional pain... Daron: emotional pain? you mean stress? depression? explain. Kevin Neil: he seemed...not realy depressed...but angry at the world, he's not...insane everyone has their moments...i know i have Daron: what happened the day of the attempted suicide? Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: wh-what do you mean? Daron: what do you think may have led up to his jumping? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: aren't you supposed to be defending him?! Rikku's Attourny: objection, i demand that be stricken from the record Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: sir... i'm doing my job, you just do yours and answer my question. Kevin Neil: i...that day he jumped... my ex called and told me that jimmy let him... Kevin Neil: Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: that jimmy let him have sex with him...and..i didn't believe it! but...i asked jimmy.... Kevin Neil: Daron: are you saying that you had a part in his attempt? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: i-i... i've been thinking this whole time...that it was all my fault... maybe i was right Daron: is james able to make intelligent decisions on his own? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: y-yes...i think he's a big boy he can take care of himself... Jury: Daron: so you do think that james is capable of being a good citizen? Kevin Neil: oh yes.... Kevin Neil: jimmy can take care of himself Daron: what has he deminstrated in the past that you can support that with? Kevin Neil: he's been on his own...for a year... Daron: are you refering to his life on the streets? Kevin Neil: he came back alive....o0(in a manner of speaking) Daron: exactly what was his carrer in this time frame of being a 'street smart' citizen? Kevin Neil: i uh... Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: he was... Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: he was a hooker..... Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Jury: Kevin Neil: Daron: the defendance rests... cross examination? Kevin Neil: Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: what where you trying to do? Daron: learn more about your enigma... Mr. Smith (Rikku's Attourny): uh...right... Mr. Smith: Mr. Smith: mr. neil... Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(this can't be worse then daron's 'defending') Little Jimmy Urine: Mr. Smith: when you say Mr. Euringer was a "hooker" for a year, how did you know? Kevin Neil: i think he has to pee... Mr. Smith: Judge: Judge: a two minute recess for... jimmy's bathroom break... Little Jimmy Urine: only two mi- Daron: Daron: just go! Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: (2 minutes later) Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Judge: may we continue now? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Judge: prosicution... Mr. Smith: now...mr. neil...how did you know Mr. Euringer was a hooker at the time, how did you find him after so long? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: i... Kevin Neil: well i was...driving around and he happened to find me...and he told me... Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(good recovery) Mr. Smith: he asked you to pay him? Kevin Neil: yes..... Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(ooo... not good...) Mr. Smith: hmmm now mr. neil...i thought he was your 'boyfriend'... Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: leave him alone, you butchers... Daron: Kevin Neil: he forgot... Daron: Mr. Smith: he forgot!! Little Jimmy Urine: Mr. Smith: he forgot...that mr. neil was his boyfriend...why? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Daron: Kevin Neil: i...don't know.... Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: don't interfere. Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: uhm... Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(i could bite him, he's close enough...) Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: he was hit... Mr. Smith: hit? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: he told me he was slugged with a baseball bat.. Daron: would you cut it out? Mr. Smith: a...baseball bat? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: he told me that a bouncer found him...and he couldn't remember anything before that Mr. Smith: and...you believed that? Kevin Neil: what? Kevin Neil: uh-of course i did Mr. Smith: no more questions Mr. Smith: you may step down, mr. neil Kevin Neil: b-but Mr. Smith: please step down.... Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: Judge: prosicution, your witness. Mr. Smith: i call Hank Lee Anderson to the stand, please Little Jimmy Urine: Hank: Kevin Neil: Mr. Smith: hello...mr. anderson Hank: hiya Mr. Smith: mr. anderson, how do you know the defendant? Hank: he's the dick that took kevin away. Mr. Smith: tell me...have you had many conversations with mr. euringer? Hank: hell yeah. that guy is messed the hell up! Mr. Smith: messed up? what do you mean? Hank: he told me he had, like, different sides! Little Jimmy Urine: Mr. Smith: sides? Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(liar... i never said-) Hank: hell yeah! he was like, telling me how he had like, a manly side that doesn't come out often, and that he even had this "cheating husband side"! Hank: Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: Mr. Smith: very interesting...anything else the defendant mentioned? Hank: yeah! he said he looooved pain!! Hank: he was beggin me for it! Little Jimmy Urine: Hank: he was fucked up at the time, though, man he was having friggin flashbacks or somethin, but he said "i'm a whore!" Hank: Little Jimmy Urine: Hank: he even said that all the pimps beat him and he likes it! Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: Mr. Smith: thank you very much...mr. anderson (that's the sound of your death...) Daron: Daron: mr... anderson was it? how were you first introduced to mr.euringer here? Little Jimmy Urine: Hank: well...i came home and there were all these peeps in my apartment i was like "what the hell?" and then my friend rain said that "jimmy was..eh-hem fucking my boyfriend" that's when i met him Daron: did he, mr.euringer, act like a normal human being? I.E. spoke at normal levels and controled his body in a calm mannor? Little Jimmy Urine: eh? Hank: no! he was talking about some shit about red and blue pills or some shit i was like "this mofo is trippin!" Daron: i take it that you don't get a long with him. what suddenly brought about this sexual confrontation in the ally of babylon? Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(no one said where it was at!) Little Jimmy Urine: .o0 (how did he know!? was he watching!?) Hank: well he was telling me that he doesn't care for anything really and man he was HIGH! he was all pukin and shit! he puked on my shirt! anyways! he told me that he doesn't care about much, even kevin, he said he wasn't gonna change for kevin and that kevin was along for the ride... Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: ouch... Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: Daron: what made you give into james' requests? Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(i really hurt him this time...) Hank: well...he asked me if i cared about anything...i said no, not really and he was comin on to me, and lickin my ear and stuff! and so i said "hey let's go outside" dude he told me to smack him! Daron: did you? Hank: well yeah, he said he gets off on it Kevin Neil: Daron: why did you have sex with him if you hated him? Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Hank: cause...i haven't had sex in a while especially like that! if jimmy wanted to be hit, hell, i'd do it, it was fun abusing the little shit!! Daron: the defence rests. Kevin Neil: Judge: defence, your witness. Daron: i call rain rodriguez to the stand. Little Jimmy Urine: .o0(she's on my side!) Rain: Daron: how do you know mr.euringer? Rain: his girlfriend and me are friends... Daron: isn't he involved with mr. neil? Rain: yeah. him too. we've all had a go at the little twerp. Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Daron: how has he impacted your life? Rain: ah, he's a good kid. he does what it takes to get by. Daron: prostitution? Little Jimmy Urine: daron! Rain: yeah. if you were in the same position... you'd do the same. Rain: i know i would. Kevin Neil: Daron: do you know of any illness, obsession, addictions that he may have? Rain:...um... let's see here. he's obsessed with his health. Daron: you don't say? Rain: yeah. he's scared to death of colds and stuff like that. Daron: why is that do you think? Rain: i'm not to sure- Daron: you're under oath. Kevin Neil: Rain: he has AIDS. he's trying to prolong his life by not getting sick and preventing illness... Daron: i see. Daron: does this seem like the actions of a man who would soon try to take his own life? Rain: um- Daron: i was asking the jury... Rain: oh. Daron: did james seem like a sane person before this attempt? Rain: sane? who's sane? Daron: defence rests. Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Daron: Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: Judge: prosicution, do you have any questions? Mr. Smith: no your honor Judge: then it's your last witness. Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: shit. Mr. Smith: i'd like to call...uh...wayne to the stand Wayne: Daron: aw. a micro-wave... Mr. Smith: how do you know the defendant? Wayne: he's currently my paitent at the westfield asylum. Wayne: Mr. Smith: how does mr. euringer..."act" in his current holding place? Wayne: act? he don't move. Wayne: he's kind of a dull inmate if you ask me. but i have to admit, when he does move or speak... it's a riot. litterally. Little Jimmy Urine: Mr. Smith: where, in the asylum, is mr. euringer currently being held? Wayne: in a padded cell, no restraints. Wayne: Mr. Smith: in your opinion does he seem..."calm" at any time? Wayne: all the time. we use no drugs on him. he's very quiet except when he wakes up screaming. but that's normal when i'm your guard. i have that effect on people. Wayne: Little Jimmy Urine: Mr. Smith: Mr. Smith: was there any attempts of escape? Wayne: oh, of course! if there wasn't i'd think something was wrong! Little Jimmy Urine: Mr. Smith: eh-hem...does mister euringer, in your opinion seem sane? Wayne: .o0 (if he's voted sane... my block wont be fun anymore...) um... he does have some strange querks to him. he refuses to eat and can sit and stare at a single spot on the wall for hours... Little Jimmy Urine: .o0 (that's all there IS to do!) Mr. Smith: thank you...no further questions...your witness Daron: no questions your honor. Judge: defence, you final witness. Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: what? Daron: you're up. Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: james euringer... tsk tsk... Little Jimmy Urine: Wayne: can i step down now? Kevin Neil: Judge: oh, yeah. go ahead. (duh) Daron: why did you do it? Little Jimmy Urine: um.... uh... Kevin Neil: Daron: why did you attempt to kill yourself? Little Jimmy Urine: my life... Little Jimmy Urine: has never been a bed of roses... Daron: elaberate. Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: i hate... who i am. i chose to be my own worst enemy and... i try to find anyway to get back at myself for that decision... Rikku: Hank: Daron: is that why you like to be beaten? Little Jimmy Urine: yeah... i can't do it myself... when my first pimp first struck me... i was instantly disaplined. my thoguhts were in line... Little Jimmy Urine: i know my place in the world of men Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Daron: were you abused as a child? Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: ... ... no. Daron: Daron: no? is that your answer? Little Jimmy Urine: no! i've always been abuse! not just as a child! Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: my whole life is just one big slap in the face! Little Jimmy Urine: hence.... i tried to get away by jumping. Little Jimmy Urine: i'm sorry i brought you to my world. Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: ironically it made it easier for you to understand how much pain i am in. Jury: Kevin Neil: Daron: no. Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: no. it makes me realize how improtant life is. Daron: how i can't just fling it around on a rope. Daron: my rope is frayed like yours now. and i'm being careful with it... Little Jimmy Urine: don't you ever want to just cut it though? Daron: all the time. but i don't because i only have one. Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: i'm not insane. Daron: ...defense rests, your honor... Daron: Kevin Neil: Judge: prosicution. your final cross-examination. Mr. Smith: no questions.... Judge: prosicution, you final statement. Mr. Smith: mr. euringer is just...sick Rain: Wayne: that was deep Rikku: that's it!? Mr. Smith: can you think of better?! Rikku: yes! Mr. Smith: Rikku: this man is mentally unstable. he doesn't understand how to say no! he's got the mind of a child and the body of a man. that's not a good combination! Rain: that's every man though... Hank: Rikku: he has access to everything you and i do! he walks the same streets that your children take home from school! he eats at the same restraunts as us... he always doped up. he doesn't understand right from wrong. that! that is what makes a person incapable! Rikku: Mr. Smith: uhm...thank you rikku... Judge: defence? Daron: Kevin Neil: Daron: mr... euringer is the same as you and i. we've all felt hopeless. we've all felt lost. he's just one of the few that actually does something about his feelings instead of hiding them. he was born into poverty- Little Jimmy Urine: no i wasn't. i used to work for umbrella until they layed me off- Daron: he's just confused. Daron: his only souce of hope is in drugs. we've all had a drink or two when we've felt down... Daron: i feel that james is not insane... insanities can not determine their emotions. james, here is the mosr emotionally aware man i have ever met.... thank you... Little Jimmy Urine: no.... thank you.... Kevin Neil: .o0(i already knew all that...) Judge: a 2 hour recess for the jury to decide. the defendant cannot leave the court house unless accompanied by his nurse. Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: god, i'm so sorry i made you do this... Kevin Neil: it's okay... Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Wayne: again with the queer. you people don't stop do you? Little Jimmy Urine: your the next one to be on defence, pal! Kevin Neil: Wayne: yikes. i'm am so... so... scared. Daron: can i barrow james for a moment? Little Jimmy Urine: huh? Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: didn't you already?! Daron: Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Daron: jimmy, i-i'm sorry i tried to- Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: jesus, i don't know what i would have done if you weren't my attourny... Daron: i don't hear that everyday... Little Jimmy Urine: it's as if... ... everything kind of happened for a reason. it all added up to this... Daron: my work is done here. um... i wish you luck. Little Jimmy Urine: wait! daron! Daron: yeah? Little Jimmy Urine: Daron: Daron: Little Jimmy Urine: Little Jimmy Urine: shhhhhhhit.... Wayne: yeah, you look it Kevin Neil: is he gone yet? Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: e-yeah. Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: well... this is it, i guess... Little Jimmy Urine: this will determine my future... Kevin Neil: i guess.... Little Jimmy Urine: .o0 (man, i didn't even get to explain what really happed with the nurse...) Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Little Jimmy Urine: are you angry with me...? Little Jimmy Urine: Kevin Neil: Kevin Neil: should i be? Little Jimmy Urine: ... ... ... Little Jimmy Urine: