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The Shinji in our minds: His has a quiet passive personality with the aspects of emerging adulthood coming to the surface. His personality comes from the sudden death of his mother and then the abandonment from his father after her death. In a way, he lost both parents that day. Soon after, he was sent away to live with his teacher. He was isolated and in pain for many years until he learned to live with the loneliness. He is fearful of contact with other people because they might hurt him like his father or leave him like his mother, so he keeps to himself.
He starts to change when he is called to Tokyo-3. His father in his 'wisdom' picks him to pilot Unit-1. After he starts to fight, he begins to question who he is and why he fights.
He has a lot of conflict with fighting. He did not want to be a pilot but they used an injured Rei to convince him to pilot. He could not let Rei go out and fight while in her condition. However, this reason is swept away when Rei is heals. He begins to wonders why he pilots if it only beings him and others pain. He then turns to the fact that he is the only one that can pilot and if he does not more people will be hurt. His reasons to fight changes threw the series and we see him change along with them.
He also has problems interacting with other people. For example, on the first day in Tokyo-3 he meets Misato. While their relationship develops into a deep understanding, they did have a good start. It took weeks before they connected in any measurable way.
In additions to fighting angels, he also goes to school. There he meets Kensuke and Touji, his soon to be best friends. The military and the Evangelions fascinate Kensuke. He actually wants to be a pilot, not knowing what being a pilot really means. Touji on the other hand blamed him for hurting his sister during the first battle. Touji hits him to "get even" and they resolve their problem after an incident with the forth angel.
He also has many issues with his father. While he feels much hate and distrust for him he wishes he could change that, become father and son again. Although he tries, what they gain or thinks they gained does not last.
Despite his problems he seems have strong feels for Rei. She is quite and calm in a mysterious way, which he is drawn too. He finds himself staring at her sometimes, although he does not know why.
Another person he becomes close to is the second child, Asuka. When Asuka arrives, we see his attentions shift to Asuka. At first, he thinks that she is spoiled and arrogant but after he get to know her he finds out that, she can be 'nice'.
Most people think he is just a boy quite simply. The people who slap him around and crush him under their heels, they think he's a weakling. These people take advantage of him, taking all from his open hands. However, a select few see his true self. He is a troubled soul, filled with a determination that when focused can defeat anything. He is willing to sacrifice for others, be it time cooking for Misato and Asuka or his life fighting angels.
He thinks very little of himself. Thinking that he is weak and cowardly causes him run away and hide from his problems. He wants others to like him so he fights but he is his unsure of his abilities.

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