Neon Genesis Evangelion Higher Learning Strike Fiss, 2001 Forty-Fifth Lesson: "Where Angels fear to Tread" "Tell me again why I have to follow your bitch-ass around the wilderness?" Kaji yelled out as he slipped down the hill once again. He was getting rather good at it, Kaoru smirked. Even had enough time to yell out that phrase before he hit the bottom. "Because I know where I'm going!" he called back. Kaji dusted himself off and with an angry grunt, threw himself up onto the cliff-face and ran up as far as he could before the incline forced him to hang on and take the next bit with more patience. "I know exactly where you're going. Straight to hell, and you're goinna take us all along with you!" Kaoru sighed. "You know, after the first thirty times you said that, it was amusing. Now it's just dull." He reached into his backpack and pulled out a rope. "Now hold still and I'll pull you up...wuss." He added after a beat. "Maybe that's why I hate you so much...you remind me too much of myself." Kaji grumbled. "I'm touched!" The other man smiled happily as he lowered the rope. "That's very nice of you to say, Kaji-san!" With a sigh, Kaji took the rope and waited for Kaoru to tie it to a tree. "Can't you just fly down here or something? Or use an AT Field to lift me up?" "Of course not. That would be silly." Kaoru said frankly. "Besides, I'm still pretty rusty when it comes to AT Fields. You wouldn't want me to mess up. I'm not nearly as good as you think." Kaji sighed and climbed the rope. It took the man a good five minutes, and he was gasping by the time he got to the top. With the weather not only hot, but humid, it was a hard climb in the thin, wet air. This would be the last part of the trip they would have to go 'up', though. They were standing on the very tip of the Japanese Shield, the mountain ridge that made up most of the inner country's defence against the rising waters. A whisper of a road with a ragged old sign betrayed the true nature of the ridge...that it was once only a lonely hiking trail. Barely wide enough for a Jeep even back then, it was now a hazard on the most steady of foot. The view, however, was amazing. Behind them, they could see the great Tokyo valleys clouded in mist. They were huge...mostly due to the use of N2 mines the last decade or so. Even then, they were more than a day's travel away...and most of that had been by a NERV truck. In front of them lay a steep bed of wild forest, and beyond that, the ocean. It seemed clear and blue...stretching on forever in all directions. Kaji's breath was caught, but not by fatigue. It was one thing to see the ocean...and another to actually trek towards it. "Wow..." he whispered. "I knew you'd like it." Kaoru smiled, then shook his head. "We should reach it by tomorrow evening." He pointed off to a tiny little speck. The last remaining Izu island. The others had long since disappeared under the water. Lucky for them, it was also the closest to shore. "If you knew this was so important..." Kaji huffed as he began to tie a rope to another tree, then prepared to repel down the first bit of the cliff. "Why are we only now heading there?" Kaoru smiled. "Because, I don't want to interrupt the final exams." "I hate teacher humour. So why do I have to come?" Kaji sighed, then jumped. Just before Kaoru did the same, he turned to the direction of Tokyo 3. "The last angel..." he sighed. "I hope I've taught him enough." He paused and smiled. "I hope both of us have. Good luck." The decent was quick, but the journey was just beginning. "Asuka..." Shinji whispered, looking through the glass. He seemed to be doing this all too much lately. This was not a recovery room, however. It was, what familiars in the area liked to call it, the 'shrink ward'. There was a bandage on her left arm, sleeve pulled back. Under it snaked an IV that was keeping her sedated and alive. For now, anyway. The doctors all had left for the evening. It was only by sheer luck that the guard was able to be convinced to let him see her. Even then, the door was to be kept locked. No amount of badge-flashing had convinced the man otherwise. "What happened to her?" Shinji asked, looking up at the man. He was an elderly gentlemen...kind enough to sympathize, but trained (and in fear of losing his job) not to break the rules set out for him. "Uhm...I think she and the doctors had a fight. She punched one of them and then they had to sedate her." "But she's not crazy." Shinji shook his head quickly. "Why is she in here?" "She pleaded insanity to the Commander." The man shook his head. "But I don't think they've run any tests yet." Shinji let his head press against the glass as he tried to think of what to do. It was hopeless...this was not like a recovery room where one could just walk out when they felt the need to. If he tried, and failed to convince his father to let her go...the tests would be mysteriously pushed back for a few more days...or weeks...or...months. He shivered, thinking of all the things she told him. About her mother...the hospital. It was too similar for it not to be hurting her inside. Toji had explained the whole thing to him. Asuka diverted the wrath of his father so at least Toji would be able to pilot. But, at what cost? Her actual sanity? "Asuka...I don't want to lose you..." he whispered, praying for a reaction. Asuka just lay there...looking like she was almost asleep. In fact, she looked a bit too peaceful. She never slept like that. "Asuka..." he leaned against the glass. "ASUKA! WAKE UP!" he yelled out, pounding on the glass. There was no reaction...only the arms of the old security man dragging him away from the glass. "Please! Young sir! Don't get me in trouble!" he begged. Shinji slumped, still looking for futile hope in the sleeping form of the room's occupant. "I'm sorry..." he whispered. The guard mistook who it was for, and said, "It's okay..." even as Shinji stormed out into the hall, before breaking into a run. "Poor kid..." the guard sighed, then walked back over to the door to lock it. Shinji felt like running. Fast. Forever. Away from himself. Away from life. The pain. The pleasure. It really didn't matter that much anymore. He just needed to run. "Why are you running?" he could hear a voice in his mind speak to him. It seemed impossibly wise and angry for the situation, and it came with the clarity that almost shook him to his senses. The halls of NERV were deserted, yet he still felt foolish, considering the answer out loud. "I don't know..." he gasped, still moving. His voice now hoarse from it. It was more like jogging...except he couldn't bring himself to actually take off and run. Eventually, he found himself nearly colliding with a wall. The effort to dodge was enough to finally make him stop...mentally exhausted, though his body only seemed to follow suit. "Running from the pain, are you?" Kaoru-Sensei seemed to say. He sunk to the floor slowly, gasping as he did. "No." Shinji whispered back...slightly scared that the voice was continuing to become clearer in his mind. "Then where are you going?" FLASH! Back, way back...he was in a classroom now. His legs didn't jerk with the sudden lack of movement, even though he expected them to when he looked at the desk caging him in. "FINAL EXAM" was written on the board in hasty, big kanji. In front of him was no paper, no pencil, no calculator, and no laptop. Only the Sensei, tapping his legs annoyingly on the side of his teacher's desk as he sat on the edge. "It doesn't matter if you choose the right answer if you don't do the work to get to it." He sighed, shaking his head. "Haven't I taught you anything? Or will you just guess through the test?" "I know the answer." Shinji said back. "I...I don't know how I got to it...but I have the right answer! You can't tell me that isn't worth something!" he yelled. Kaoru sighed, then shook his head. "Very well...you have the right answer. The one, final, all defining point. But this is not a math problem, Mister Ikari." He adjusted his glasses as he turned away to the sunset outside. Always a red sunset, it seemed. "This is life. You don't get points for the end of it. Otherwise, everyone would get one hundred percent just for dying." He continued. "If you don't do the work, then your final answer is worthless." He paused. "Of course, you may have already done the work...you just haven't written it down yet." The empty desks around him seemed to fill with the overwhelming presence of everyone in the class...watching him. Waiting for the right answer. The right question. Anything... Shinji looked around the otherwise empty room. His second home for the last half a year. It felt strange as he remembered it was now under a new lake with half of Tokyo 3. Finally, though, he turned back to Kaoru. "I want to protect Asuka. My friends. I want them to be happy. I want to share that happiness." He said finally. "That is the only answer I need." Kaoru slid off his desk, then slammed his fists into Shinji's desk. The jolt almost threw him free of his seat. "How." "H...how?" Shinji blinked. "Damn rights, 'How'." Kaoru shook his head, then hunched over his desk, glaring right at the boy. "You think just because you want something it will happen? You're not a God...and even if you had the power, your mind is hardly able to comprehend something of that magnitude." He paused for a moment, then leaned back a bit. "So...how will you save her? How will you save the woman you love? Run away?" "NO!" Shinji screamed. All of a sudden, the room rocked around him. Kaoru seemed not to notice. "I won't run! Not now!" "Fight? Die? What will you do, Mister Ikari?" Kaoru smirked. "You're low on time, and you're not even most of the way through the test." "I'll...I'll..." Shinji blinked, then was silent. The room was still. The light seemed to fade, and he found himself in an uncomfortable spotlight with his Sensei. "Mmph. Guessing again?" Kaoru sighed, then shook his head. He reached into the darkness just beyond the little circle of reality to pull out a chair so he could sit as well. "Yes." Shinji admitted, then slumped in his own seat. "I don't know the answer." "How about Eva?" Kaoru smiled. "Why not take Eva." "I..." Shinji glared at his teacher. "You're bating me." "Who? Me?" Kaoru smirked. "I'm just offering you choices." Shinji nodded. "And at the very bottom, for 'd', you have 'none of the above'. Is that it?" Kaoru laughed. "Maybe." He sighed. "Maybe that's what you want to hear. Maybe it's what I want to hear." He leaned forward a bit. "But what answer is the one you need?" "Eva." Shinji sighed. "Mmm." Kaoru slumped, then nodded. "I understand." "No...I don't think you do." Shinji smiled softly, suddenly feeling clear. "Mother...she is in Eva. Right?" "You know more than I do." Kaoru nodded, then leaned forward. "Mother is the first other. The first person you attach to, right? But also, the first teacher." He said, then looked up at his Sensei. "And yet, I cannot use you to destroy a city." He smiled. "But...you both have one common bond in my mind." Kaoru nodded, then smiled. "Eva is a teacher." Shinji whispered. "I won't use it for things it wasn't meant for." Kaoru sighed, then leaned back in the seat. "Very well. That's still not much of an answer...but I suppose it will have to do." He stood. The classroom once again seemed whole. He walked over to the blackboard. Taking the brush, he began to erase the words on the board. "You still need to answer it, though. If you don't, you can never pass." "I know." Shinji nodded, then sighed, resting his head on his desk. "What will you do now?" As the words echoed in his mind, Shinji found himself on the floor, curled up in a ball. The cool, smooth metal was soothing to his ragged mind. "I need to find a new point of view..." he whispered to himself. "I have to find the answer..." he sighed, then stood slowly. He felt his way along the walls, walking to somewhere familiar. "I need to think..." he said to the empty halls. Kensuke sighed as he watched the horizon for the sunset that had yet to come. "This sucks." He said. Toji nodded. He turned to his friend and shook his head. "I think everyone wants this to be over. I want to go far away from here and forget about everything for a very long time." "You too?" Kensuke smiled. "We should all go for a vacation." Rei, who had been relatively silent that evening, smiled at the thought. "I have always wanted to go to the mountains. I think it would be fun." "They have good hotdogs." Kensuke nodded. When Rei and Toji looked at him strangely, he laughed, then shook his head. "Sometimes, when I'm out playing around in my army gear, I'll head on up the Tokyo Valley...past all the wreckage and destruction...and there's a little town on the edge of it all that has this one burger joint I like. "It's called Fran's Food or something cheesy like that. Their food isn't even all that good...but one day I took a chance and ordered a hotdog." He continued. "It came on a paper plate, and the bun was nothing more than a thick slice of bread wrapped around it...and even that was soaked through by this horrible looking red and green sauce and grease mixture." He smiled. "But I was hungry, and took a big bite." A long pause. "And?" Toji blinked. "Best damn hotdog I ever had." Kensuke smiled happily. Toji laughed and shook his head. "Sounds good. We'll have to go." Rei nodded. "I would also like a hotdog." They were all silent after that as the last few lights of the city turned off, if they were in buildings and homes, or on, if they were streetlamps. "It's late." Toji sighed. "Ikari-kun won't be back tonight, I think." Rei whispered. Kensuke nodded. "Do you think we'll survive this?" There was a long pause, but finally, Toji nodded. "Yes. Shinji just needs some time to figure out what to do. How to save Red-Devil." Kensuke seemed to approve the answer, because he nodded, and said nothing. Finally, one by one, they walked back into the apartment. Each going to sleep a moment later once they had found their allotted futons, and hoping dreams would be kind to them that night. Night gave way to Shinji opening his eyes to a harsh, artificial happiness that was the sunlight. In the large, bay windows that were built on the side of a pyramid, he wondered how it could be so bright under the Geofront and it's cold, metal shell. Humans needed light and dark to function, he reasoned. Day and night were balanced so the human animal could sleep and work at the right times according to their biological clocks and devices. Is that why they took Asuka from him? Is that why everyone went away? So he would pilot Eva? And yet, like threatening a child to go to bed without desert, they also threw in the rule that if he did not pilot Eva, Asuka...everyone...would go away forever. Either way, it would still become night time. Days like this made the wait for morning almost impossible. "You're up early, Shinji-kun." A familiar voice came behind him as he sat up on the couch. The hard foam plastic had been his nest for the night. He turned, eyes still fluttering in the barely-new sun, and saw Asuka's replacement...er...Kaoru-kun. "Ohay...ooh..." he yawned, then shook his head, looking at the time on the wall. "Early? I hadn't noticed." He sighed. It was just coming on five a.m.. With Shinji sitting, instead of laying, the grey-haired boy smiled and took it as an invitation, plopping down right besides him. "You should have came home with me, Shinji-kun. It's not very good to sleep here." Shinji blushed considerably, then turned away. "I did go home...but... my friend is in the hospital, so I had to come back." Kaoru nodded, genuinely concerned. "What has happened to them?" "They angered the Commander." Shinji whispered. "She is now alone in the hospital. They think she's sick in the head...but I know it's because of my father." The older boy nodded, then shook his head. "You do not agree with your Father?" he shook his head. "That is a sorry thing...but hardly uncommon." "Mmm, is it now." Shinji stood, stretching as he walked over to the windows. The Geofront seemed indeed to be much happier than he was. The forest below seemed tranquil and peaceful. "Most people my age like their fathers. They may even love them." With a long, tired breath, he shook his head. "I'm tired of hating my father...but he doesn't seem to want to change." "Fathers do not change easily." Kaoru said, walking up behind him. "That is why boys must learn from them." Shinji turned to Kaoru. "Do you...hate your father?" he blushed. "I mean..." "It's okay." Kaoru smiled brightly, as if it was impossible to offend the young man. "No, I don't hate him. I love him dearly. But I do not agree with his choices sometimes." Shinji smiled slightly, hopefully. "Really? What do you do, then?" "I take his judgement in good faith." Kaoru said happily. "He has worked many miracles for me...and to doubt him would be foolish. I don't pretend to be as wise as he is, so I must admit...a leap of faith is what helps me accept him." The young Ikari sighed, then nodded. "My father...he's like that sometimes." He looked up at the sky outside. "But...he hurts so many people, and takes away things I love. Even if I don't know what he knows, I can't accept that he is doing good." Kaoru nodded, then began to walk. "Come with me?" Shinji followed, catching up. "Has your dad...ever...done bad things?" he sighed. "I mean...horrible things?" "Like killing people? Giving orders? Taking away your freedom?" he stopped, then grinned. "Things like that?" Shinji nodded. "Yes." "Yes." Kaoru nodded, then continued. "But, has YOUR father done things good? Very good things? Grand things?" "I..." Shinji nodded. "Yes. He has." "Like what?" Kaoru pressed. Shinji had to think for a moment, then smiled. "Well, he's saved everyone by forming NERV. And I suppose he's given me a purpose in life." "Even if you don't agree with the purpose." Kaoru offered. "Do you still thank him for that gift?" Shinji sighed, then nodded sheepishly. "Yes. I suppose I do." They walked for a moment, before Kaoru stopped and opened up a door to their right. "In Ancient Greece, men would commune in a most divine way." He said. "Would you like to join me?" The door said "Men's Spa" on it. Shinji blushed for a moment, then sighed, nodding his head. "Sure. Actually, a bit of water might clear my head." They entered and found they were the only ones who dared brave the morning so early. It took a moment for the automatic lights to switch on, but soon they were in the change-room. "You know, I've never been in here before." Shinji smirked as he dawned a towel quickly. "It is one of the great privileges of age." Kaoru said happily, not seeming to mind the fact he was completely naked at this point. "I dare say that this is the best method of male bonding." He walked over to the showers. "Actually, I like getting drunk much better." Shinji sighed to himself, trying to look away without seeming too embarrassed. "Less water, and you can always pass off whatever embarrassing things you say as being drunk." "Scared you'll tell me something personal, Shinji-kun?" Kaoru called after him, amidst the sound of water spraying. "A bit." He sighed, shaking his head. "It's not every day I tell complete strangers about my father." He walked to a separate shower stall and turned on the hot and cold all the way. The rivets of water seemed dull in their attempts to pierce through his numb mind. "Don't be silly." Kaoru smiled. "We're much alike. If you know yourself, you know me well." "Maybe that's what I'm scared of." Shinji admitted. The comment was left blissfully untouched as the two finished their showers and walked to the main spa. The large screen above the bath was showing a nice, peaceful view of Mount Fuji, while the lights were turned off, instead letting in the warm, foggy glow from the daylight outside. The echo of their splashes resounded for a long while. Kaoru simply lay against the side, while Shinji waited out the awkward silence, trying to shake this uncanny feeling of deja-vu. "What would you like to talk about?" Kaoru asked finally, as the occasional drip of water and their breathing remained. Shinji sighed to himself. He knew he should say something. He didn't want to be rude, and for the sake of everyone, he wasn't about to let his feelings about Asuka's replacement get in the way of friendship and teamwork. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that he should just pretend this Kaoru was like Sensei Kaoru. "I wish I knew if what I know was correct." Shinji said finally, looking up at the giant mountain before them. "I don't want to wait until everyone dies for me to know it's wrong." "Why would it be wrong?" Kaoru asked. "Not...wrong." Shinji sighed. "I just don't know if it's what I need to know. It seems so vague and impractical." He groaned and leaned back. "I have more questions about myself than answers, and the world around me isn't helping me find those answers." "Well, what do you want to know about yourself?" Kaoru said. "Why can't I be happy." Shinji mumbled, looking up at the mountain. "Why can't I be happy and live life like everyone else does." For some reason, he thought of Asuka. An image of her ranting about something pierced his mind. "What is happiness to you?" Kaoru asked, turning to him. "Is it a loving father...a safe and caring girlfriend...a purpose? What is it?" "Yes...but...that's not all." He sighed. "I don't know if it has anything to do with other people. Maybe it's me. I don't know." Kaoru smiled and laughed out loud. "Human-kind has been trying to find those answers forever, Shinji-kun. It is human destiny to question happiness and themselves." Shinji shook his head. "I just want to know where to look for happiness. I know what I want...I just don't know the answers." "Happiness is as free-will. To some people, it is treasured and desired above all else. Others take it for granted, yet fight when they lose it." He relaxed in the hot water for a moment. "And yet others desire to be away from it. To be led and controlled." He turned to Shinji. "You may desire the idea of happiness, but feel most comfortable in sadness." The young Ikari nodded humbly. "But...what if I want to change?" "How will you change? What do you want to change into?" "I...don't want to be alone. I want to be happy." Shinji sighed, making a futile little splash with his hand in the water. "I'm tired of being hurt." "Then you should wish to be alone." Kaoru said. "If you are ignorant of everyone around you, it is impossible for you to be betrayed." Gendo Ikari...sitting alone at his desk. The echo of his breathing impossibly loud. "However, if you do that, you will never be rid of the feeling of loneliness." Kaoru continued. Rei Ayanami...floating in a pool, fighting the urge to breathe in the water and explore what was next. Fighting even harder the urge to look up to the sky and see that nobody was there to care if she did or not. "True..." Shinji whispered, lost in the visions. "A person cannot erase sadness forever." Kaoru whispered. Asuka Langley Sohryu...laying face down in the hospital bed. Tears go unseen to all but his eye. "And it is hard to hide from pain by drowning it in false happiness." Misato Katsuragi...crumpled up to match her futon, surrounded by beer cans and old keepsakes. Her face showed that her dreams were not being as kind to her as the alcohol. Shinji turned to the young man with a sad frown. "That's not really much of an answer." "It wasn't supposed to be an answer, Shinji-kun." Kaoru smiled thoughtfully. "It's meant to show that your heart is delicate...like glass. You must be careful to take care of it, because it is worthy of love and admiration." Shinji looked away, into the water so he could see himself. "Then why does it feel cracked and broken already?" "Maybe you just haven't been told these things." Kaoru smiled softly, putting his hand on Shinji's shoulder. "That you're worth being loved." Shinji looked away, not sure how to take a comment like that. "What about you? If people should be so scared of each other, why are you so friendly to me?" "Because," Kaoru turned to him. "I love you." Maybe it was the combination of words and confusion. Maybe it was his brain finally having pity and deciding to unlock...even if just for a moment. It was enough for him to see a situation similar to this. And the image of him battling Unit 02 right after. Asuka, comatose...NERV erupting around him. The order to hunt down the final Angel. This boy. Shinji felt his heart stop as the world seemed to crack around him...this time, showing reality. Kaoru was still talking, looking up at the giant screen above the pool. "To open your heart is the best way to understand another. The moment I saw you, I knew our meeting was fated." The grey haired boy continued. Shinji nodded slowly. "Is that right..." he found himself shaking from the images his brain gave him. Images of that boy's head being popped off like a toy. At first, he didn't know what to make of them...they were already gone, yet...he couldn't deny what he felt. Kaoru turned to him, noticing something was wrong. "Are you okay, Shinji-kun?" "Don't call me that..." he whispered, standing out of the water with slow determination. A lie...it had to be a lie. Maybe the sleep deprivation was catching up to him...His imagination. No. Not this time. The bile in his throat wouldn't go away as he kept reliving those words. "You...you said my heart is fragile. Like glass." Shinji turned around and exited the water. "Yes." Kaoru's smile returned. "It is pure, and un-clouded like most people. Fragile, maybe, but worthy of love and protection." Shinji glared at him darkly. "But if you step on it...you'll get cut." A hand stopped him. "Shinji-kun...what's wrong?" Shinji spun, and his fist connected right into the boy's stomach. Kaoru looked surprised as he fell back into the water. Shinji looked down at his fist, at first, a bit shocked. Then, the guilt disappeared, and he turned on his heal and stormed off. Kaoru was left for a moment as Shinji went for the change rooms. He sighed, then smiled, following quickly with a splash. Shinji had already almost finished changing when he felt a hand on his shoulder. The young boy looked at him with impossibly clear eyes. "Shinji-kun." He turned away, cold all over. "Why are you here? To taunt me? To kill me? To kill us all?" "I think you know the answer." Kaoru sighed softly, then took away his hand, as if seeming to realize how inappropriate it was. "I'm here to give you a choice, Shinji-kun. Just you. You're the only one that can decide." "Decide what?" Shinji asked. "If you pass or fail." Kaoru smiled thoughtfully, then turned to get dressed himself. "When you decide, I'll be waiting." "I should kill you now." Shinji shivered, scared for a moment at his own resolution. "No." Kaoru said, walking out. "After all, the stage is not yet set. As I said, when you are ready, I'll be waiting." The door closed. Shinji's breath stopped. The images were no more...only the understanding of what he had to do. His eyes went wide, and he bolted for the door. Shinji ran down the halls, feeling them close in around him. At first, he didn't know why, or where he was running. He wasn't really surprised when he found himself in Unit-01's cage. "MOTHER!" he yelled out to the empty room. The day's work crews were still another hour away, safe and happy in their beds. Nobody but the giant purple face and he could hear the echo. However, it stayed motionless. Shinji huffed, glaring at the face. "What happened..." he swallowed hard. "What happened last time?" No answer. "I KNOW I SAW IT!" he screamed. "Tell me, Mother! Did I fail us last time? Is that why we're going through this hell again?!?" As if to answer in some kind of strange way...there was a horribly loud crashing sound. A few cages away. Unit-02. "Asuka..." Shinji whispered. "No..." he closed his eyes...almost able to see the glow of the boy. "Kaoru." The crimson lights began to flash, a loud klaxon cut through the air, and the end of the world began. Misato wasn't really surprised when the NERV jump-jet landed on their condo's front lawn...smashing several of the tenants vehicles. (The assholes from 119 deserved getting their annoying little Volkswagen trashed, anyway) The rest of the group followed with no questions or words as the pilot said it was an emergency, and that they all had to get to HQ as soon as possible. The flight seemed to pass as a dream. Around her, her fellow partners in this nightmare had grim faces. Maya and Ritsuko were pouring over data from the younger woman's laptop, trying to get caught up on the morning's events. Unit-02 had activated without a dummy plug, and was smashing through the first three layers of armour at the moment to get to Lilith. Misato wondered if she was the only one musing that Maya was flirting with Ritsuko. Kensuke and Hikari had to be left behind. Toji had been brought his plug-suit, and was already changed by the time they landed at NERV. Determination seemed his whole world at the moment. She smiled. He was a good kid. A fine man. After spending the night with his friend and girl, he would sure to be a formidable opponent to any Angel. Rei was also changed, and seemed slightly more anxious than normal. It was a bit scary to think that anything could creep out Rei. However, the girl had gotten a brain, and some sense, so Misato couldn't blame her. She felt a bit hung over herself, but watched herself with detachment, gearing herself up for the day ahead. Possibly, her last one ever. Rushing into the control room with Ritsuko, they were greeted to a strange sight. The three dimensional holographic display was showing a cross-section of Central Dogma. A bright pin-prick of red, labelled Unit-02 and "Pattern BLUE" was hitting layer after layer of protection in the bubble down to the core. "Status Report!" she demanded. "Unit-01 is already in chase!" Maya said. "Asuka is still in the ward, she can't be controlling Unit-02. It's Kaoru!" Misato sighed, then despite herself, let out a small smile. "Even gave us a warning about the name, eh, Sensei...?" finally, she sighed. "Keep all sensors open! Send Unit-03 directly into Central Dogma when Toji is ready!" "It may be too late by then." Ritsuko sighed, but made the preparations. All the while, Gendo and the Sub-Commander watched from their lofty seats. "It's happening quickly, isn't it." The old man said. Gendo nodded. "Yes. But it is all according to plan." "Let's just hope it's not according to SEELE's plan too." It all seemed to go by so fast. Shinji could almost watch it all from a third persons point of view. He saw himself speak the same words he knew he would. He remembered how Misato seemed to anxious, and scared on the comm. yet he knew he would catch the Enemy in time. The Enemy. The Angel. He remembered how he saw Kaoru with such fondness in the images. With blushing thanks and gratefulness that someone had finally said those words to him. He wanted to go back into his mind and smack himself. "I know what I have chosen." Shinji whispered as he felt the air whip by him, descending faster and faster, catching up to the giant red monster below him...and the much more dangerous boy controlling it. "I will not be fooled by false love. I am not going to let this happen ever again." He could see Kaoru now...a tiny glowing speck. "I'm tired of this." He said out loud. "I want to go home. I want to be with people I love and trust." He gritted his teeth. "I don't need you, Angel! I don't need you, Sensei!" he felt the satisfying solid grip around his Prog-Knife as he engaged it. "No more lessons! No more tests! I'm done! Pass or Fail, I know who I am!" He saw the little boy smile as the knife came down with the full momentum of Unit-01's falling force, completely severing Unit-02's shoulder-wing, and hence, taking away it's own Prog-Knife. "Shinji-kun!" Kaoru spoke, clear as day. "I'm glad you're here." Before Shinji could do anything else, Unit-02 grabbed his arms, holding him fast. Shinji growled and strained, but could not break free. "KAORU! What are you doing? I know what you're planning! I can't let you do it!" The four of them plummeted past another barrier. It gave way easily under the combined weight and AT-Field forces. The world opened up around them, no longer just a dark, vertical shaft. With a grunt, Shinji felt the crash as he and Unit-02 fell on top of each other, sending a mountain of salty-sand and LCL rocketing everywhere. Things were back in focus. He forced himself to see the world as it was now...not in his vision. Shinji could feel Unit-01 clawing back up to it's feet. It was instinct. The tiny bright dot was already escaping. "Kaoru! COME BACK HERE!" he yelled, and was about to run after when an impossibly tight grip held his leg fast. Unit-02, glaring at him with four, angry eyes. And then, suddenly two black streaks seemed to come from nowhere, out of the darkness around him, and smashed into Unit-02. Shinji was amazed when he saw the bright, yellow eyes of Unit-03, and it's rubbery arms pinning the red Evangelion to the ground. "Shinji!" Toji said, causing a little intercom window to come up. "Are you okay, buddy?" "I am now!" Shinji said, huffing as he got back up to his full height. "Make sure you don't break Unit-02. Asuka will kick your ass." "I'll just be a baby-sitter." Toji grunted, then laughed, straining to keep the Eva in check. "Go take care of that Angel bastard, will ya? I can't do everything at once." "Shinji! HURRY!" Misato's voice interrupted them. "He's past the final gate!" Shinji took a deep breath, already knowing what he would see inside the pool of LCL. He ran. Unit-01 ran with him. Kaoru sighed as he looked up to the giant, marshmallow like figure. "Lilith." He whispered. "Again, I am confronted with your foolish visage." The sounds of battle, and running approached. He knew he didn't have much more time left. "What of the Sensei and his Partner?" Kaoru asked, then smiled. "Yes, it looks like they did his job well. Humans are fools beyond any...and yet, they seem always willing, and deserving of redemption." Lilith said nothing. Just stared past it's mask at the tiny man. "I will miss Shinji-kun." Kaoru told her. "Yes. But it is no more a sacrifice to me than last time." A hand wrapped around him. "Kaoru!" Shinji yelled, tightening his grip so the little man could not escape. Kaoru smiled up at him. "Shinji-kun. I am sorry we are not as friends like last time...but I carry with me that joy. And I'm sure you do too." Shinji gritted his teeth. "Why have you done this? Again, of all things? Why must you cause us humans pain?" "Shinji! Are you alright? What's doing on? We're getting strange readings..." Misato's voice was suddenly cut off as Shinji turned off the comm.. Kaoru sighed, then smiled up at him. "Shinji-kun, your Father has given you second chances before, correct?" Shinji glared at the Angel. "Yes." "But not without you deserving them...and wanting them." Kaoru continued. "My Father is much like yours. He is willing to let his children try again when it means the fulfillment of his plans." A long pause. "But...why not just...change everything?" Shinji asked. "I...I saw this fight...how it will end..." he gasped, suddenly aware of how close his hand was to the trigger. Instantly, Unit-01's hand relaxed, and opened up slightly. Kaoru stood on it's palm, no longer grasped, but still caged by the huge fingers around him. "It is the same reason why you Lillim must fight and hurt each other." Kaoru smiled with a simple, Zen-like grin. "You know that as well as anyone. That without the pain, you can never learn to accept the happiness." "But...the deaths? The pain! Why must it all repeat?" Shinji lowered his head. "Do I have to kill you a million times? Do I have to love you, or hate you? Do we have to do this over and over?" Kaoru shrugged. "That is up to you. Up to the future. Still, your Sensei has done well. Many deaths were prevented. Much pain was eased." He smiled upwards at an invisible source. Rei gazed back down, relaxing. He would not hurt Ikari. Not now. "And he did indeed teach you what you need to know to survive this time." Kaoru continued. "I wish I could meet him again. He was a great man." He smiled back to Shinji. "I'm sure you'll be glad when you meet him again." A long...long pause. Shinji could feel the tiny bit of pressure on his hand. His fingers relaxed, and the Eva followed. "I don't want to kill you." He whispered. "Not because of how I felt last time...I just am tired of it." Kaoru sighed, but still looked peaceful and happy. "Shinji-kun, this is the one part of the story that can never change." He paused, considering what to say. "I will still have to destroy you. Unless you stop me. My purpose was to test you. To test Humanity. I give myself to you. I will not fight. Not because I am tired, but because this time...and the last...you have earned my love and respect." Shinji glared, turning his head away a bit. "Your father is too much like mine." "And yet, we love them." Kaoru said. "And so, we cannot disobey so easily." He laughed softly. "I wish I could see you when you become a father, Shinji." Shinji blinked, then blushed slightly. "You will be a fine father. I should be honoured that...well...we'll leave that for now. The future is not written in stone." Kaoru smiled and turned in Unit-01's hand. "Kaoru-kun..." Shinji shook his head. "You could stay! You could help us!" "I cannot." Kaoru said, looking back at him. "This is it, Shinji. You wanted to know if you were taught correctly. If you will pass or fail." He said. "This is the test. The first of many, but an important one." Shinji closed his eyes. "I know." Kaoru watched the fingers flex slightly. He smiled. "I am glad to have known you, Shinji Ikari. Even more so this time." Rei left her balcony, knowing she would not need to intervene. Toji had finally managed to pull out Unit-02's battery packs, and watched the scene from the chamber entrance. At first, he had been worried Shinji would let the Angel go...his hand was open, as if carrying something delicate. But he knew Shinji. He knew Shinji was not going to let them down. With along sigh, he closed his eyes. After an impossibly long moment of silence, there was a quick, simple squishing sound. Unit-01's hand opened once more to let the broken body of Kaoru Nagisa fall to the pool below them. Unit-01 now held another cargo in it's hand. Shinji stood on the dormant monster's limb, watching the body of the last Angel floating just a stone-throw away. "What now, Ikari?" Toji asked, yelling down from the ejected plug on top of Unit-03. "Are you okay?" "I'm okay." Shinji looked up with a confident smile. "I don't know. I don't know what's next." Toji laughed, and shook his head. "I didn't mean that. I meant, what are we going to do tonight?" The young Ikari looked down, at Kaoru's body. Even with the brief pressure from the Evangelion, most of it was now pulp. He tried not to stare too long. "Misato will be mad...we're not answering our comm.." "Ahh, who cares." Toji said. "What is she going to do? Fire us?" he laughed. Shinji looked up. "We won...didn't we." Toji nodded. "More or less." Shinji smiled. "Then I'm going to take Asuka home." Toji nodded, then sighed. "They might not let her out yet, though." "I don't care." Shinji said. As he did, Unit-01 reactivated. Toji gasped as the giant Eva lifted it's own pilot up to it's neck, without any command. "Damn..." Gendo sighed as he surveyed the damage. "Children." The NERV hospital had a nice, thick, messy hole in it's side at the moment, where Unit-01 had punched through. Around him sat five very terrified doctors and nurses, all shivering, and mumbling something about boys throwing around walls of light. "I should ground him for this." He continued. Fuyutsuki couldn't hold back a little laugh. Just outside, in the Geofront, the abandoned, dormant forms of Unit-01 and 03 hovered over the building with glaring, disapproving eyes. Gendo smirked at them. "He always did take after you, Yui." Unit-01 didn't move, but seemed to give him an impressive scowl. "What now?" Fuyutsuki said, trying not to smile as he and the Commander surveyed the damage. Gendo shook his head, then turned to him. "It's not over. SEELE will not stand for this. We should expect the attack within forty-eight hours." "Not much time to prepare." Fuyutsuki shook his head. "Unit-02 will have to have some repairs. Central Dogma too." "It must be done. On time." Gendo said, walking away. "We have no choice in the matter." "What about your son?" Fuyutsuki asked finally, dreading the response, but needing to ask anyway. Gendo didn't bother turning to his older friend. "Unit-01's pilot did well today. I suppose a day off is the standard reward. Then, I'll ground him." The Sub-Commander smirked, turning to Unit-01 outside before following the Commander. "Shinji-kun..." a tired, sleepy voice asked as they walked across the empty street. The young Ikari turned to Asuka, and smiled. "Yes, Asuka-chan?" "How did I get out here?" she blinked, looking around. The sunset was almost upon them as they were on the last street to Misato's condo. Toji was helping Shinji carry Asuka on their shoulders, and he shook his head. "Baka-Shinji saved your ass from the bad doctors." Shinji blushed. "Kinda." Asuka smiled sleepily, looking up at him, stopping so she could give him a big hug. "Thank you, Baka-Shinji-kun." Toji politely looked away, pretending to find the cicadas more interesting. "Actually, he threw around some AT-Fields. Scared the shit out of me. Where the hell did you learn that from?" "Not sure." Shinji admitted as they continued to walk. "I think it was all a test or something. Maybe it was meeting Kaoru...the Angel. I'm not sure." They walked for a bit more in silence. "A test, huh?" Asuka said, breaking the silence. "Did you pass?" she asked sleepily. With a long, deep breath, Shinji nodded. "I think so." Asuka grinned mischievously. "What? You think so? That's no way for the great Shinji-same to speak." Toji laughed and nodded. "Damn rights. So? Did you pass? Or what?" Shinji sighed, then turned to them both with a smile. "We'll see." The stage is set. The band is ready. I don't know where my life is right now. I don't know if I'm going to fail again. I don't know if I will let everyone down. I don't even know if I love or hate myself. But I can't help but look forward to the future. Please prepare for End of Evangelion: Higher Learning. The End. ===================================================================== With that, I give you the final Lesson, and prelude to the last of Higher Learning. ^_^ Hope it was worth the wait. A couple of notes. Still a lot of loose ends to tie up, as you probably guessed. This is only the 'end' so to speak as to echo the end of the series. We also put to rest anyone still thinking Kaoru- Sensei was Kaoru-Angel-boy. Sorry, they're not the same guy. This was finished at 5 in the morning, and hopefully, I'll have a chance to go over the Lesson to check to make sure it doesn't suck. I knew it would be hard to write Episode 24. Not only is it a fast, sketchy, and crazy episode, but it's also insanely important. I tried to give Angel-Kaoru more depth this time around. The dialogue is a bit better (IMHO) than the translations and ideas I've found, and hopefully, hardcore fans who probably rake Kaoru-haters over the coals will not think my representation was too bad. And, as many of you have guessed, this Lesson brings more into the light the fact that everything is a 'second time around'. Hopefully this doesn't make anyone groan. I promise it won't end cheesy. ^_^ much. The End of Higher Learning will be out soon. It should also be a lot bigger and longer than a standard Lesson, so please forgive me if it takes till around New Years. I'll try to speed it up so it gets out sooner. However, it will be a busy season for me, my friends, and my family, so please, be patient. Lord of the Rings waits for nobody. ^_^ Especially when you get to see the premier on an IMAX screen. Whawhahahahaha! Ph33r my Tolkien-IMAX l33tn3ss. So, with that, I thank you all for reading, once again, and forever more. I pray this finds you all in good health, happiness, and active imaginations. Take care! -Christopher strikef@bigfoot.com www.studioshinnyo.com www.geocities.com/Tokyo/9110 Strike Fiss, Studio Shinnyo 2001. Khattam-Shud, EOF.