Neon Genesis Evangelion
   Higher Learning

  Strike Fiss, 2001









Forty-Forth Lesson:  "Alone"






Asuka watched herself in the car, almost as if she was having an out of 
body experience.  Like she was watching an all-too real dream, waiting 
for herself to wake up and be happy, jump around, and thank her darling 
Baka Shinji for making her the extra lunch she usually wined about and 
never thanked him when he did, but would promise to herself to thank 
him for remembering today.   

But she didn't.  She couldn't.  It was hard even to make her body move 
anymore.  Mentally, or physically, she was too exhausted to move.  Damn 
body, she exclaimed to herself, internally.  Of course, this was a 
hopeful thought, as she knew her body was fine.  The only time it 
seemed to work right was in the warmth of passion.  But, even then, she 
felt control slipping away from her mind every time.  

Even now in the car, surrounded by Rei, Toji, Shinji and Misato...she 
felt dead to the world.  

They talked to her.  Smiled.  She must have answered back, but she 
couldn't remember the question.  They gave her those annoying worried 
smiles.  They didn't want to act like they could see her world 
collapsing.  Maybe they didn't want to. 

She probably looked pathetic.  

Inwardly, she cursed their support.  Raking herself over the coals had 
been so much easier before their damning friendship.  Before...she 
could just push it all back and yell at herself.  But now, she 
entertained the notion that this wasn't her fault.  That she was still 
a good person.  That she wasn't totally pathetic.  

Maybe, if she thought differently, she could have raged out of this out 
of body crap and gone back to living.  It scared her that she couldn't.  
She didn't dare wonder if, even before, she could have broken out of 
this melancholy prison. 

What if she couldn't? 

What if this was just a matter of time?  

The hundreds of hours of university courses came screaming back to her.  
Each hour analyzed herself, and all came back with bad news.  That she 
was lost.  A gonner.  Denial and depression.  

Why?  Why, she begged.  There had to be a reason.  She had good 
friends.  She was in love.  She had been saved from the hell of the 
Angel by that love...even if it still haunted her.  

The reason came to her as they entered the car-train to fall into the 
Geofront.  

She could still see the scars of battles still being repaired.  She 
could still see the nearly hidden blood of her Evangelion's failures.  
If she had the capacity to do so, she would have gotten sick.  

But she didn't.  She just sat there, gazing out the window.  Her mind 
smirked at the body.  She couldn't even get sick right.  She would have 
to work her way UP to 'pathetic.' 

Lovely.

And soon, she would get to slide into that same, bloody goo, and try to 
get her puppet to move again.  She would try to make it move when she 
couldn't even get her own body to move right.  She would fail.  She 
would cry and scream when nobody could hear or see her.  Then, she 
would exit the plug, wash herself in stale water, and go back home so 
she could pray for just a moment of peace, sleeping next to Shinji.  

Her dreams hadn't helped.  They were no nightmares.  Not in the 
conventional sense.  Rather, they were images of her epic...tries. 

And they were amazing.  But even after ignoring the outcomes, she began 
to fear just watching herself.  She was powerful, commanding, strong 
and fearless.  She would ride into battle first, and never exit unless 
they dragged her away.

She wanted to be like that again.  Even if she could never win.  She 
wanted to fight and fly through the air, head-first.  She wanted to 
feel the wonderful recoil on a semi-automatic pistol the size of a bus.  
She relished the strange, semi-wet feeling of ripping apart an Angel 
with her prog-knife with a yell.  

She missed the sound of the entry plug syncing to 80%.  The way it 
would make that electronic yawn and echo until her skin had Goosebumps 
on it and she could feel the excitement as a tangible force in her 
blood.  

She tried to remember the last time she felt physical pain.  Maybe a 
broken bone.  The annoying itch of a fiberglass cast now seemed a 
blessing.  

She just wanted to feel something again.  Her heart was alone.  It 
could feel all this...but it couldn't share it with her mind.  Her 
body.  Her soul.  

And she didn't want to leave Shinji alone, either.  Maybe he couldn't 
feel it yet...maybe he could.  But she didn't want to make him alone by 
feeling this way.  She wanted to connect again.  To laugh and cry and 
touch and punch.  

She begged herself to try again.  

She tried to remember all these reasons.  Even as she saw the looks on 
Ritsuko and Maya's faces.  She tried to believe that today, she could 
do it.  

She could see Misato fight for her.  She yelled and pointed and 
gestured.  Shinji held onto her hand for support.  It was the only 
warmth in a sea of dead cold.  The cold turned from icy, to the sheer 
absence of feeling as she was told that Unit 02 was already in a sync 
test.

She entertained the idea that maybe this out-of-body thing had gone too 
far, and she was already trying the sync test, but watching herself 
arrive just now.  

The camera showed different.

A young man, maybe a bit older than they, with light gray hair and 
the...most...calm, pleased expression on his face sat in her seat.

The sync ratio was already up to seventy five.  Asuka took until last 
year to get that high.  

The feeling around the room was relief.  Relief that the red Eva would 
be able to protect them once more.  Technicians around the area all 
watched the read-outs hopefully with smiles to give away their 
satisfaction. 

Only the blasted doctor and her tag-along-puppy of an assistant gave 
her apologetic looks.  

She must have said that last bit out loud, because both of them turned 
bright red and Ritsuko began to look angry.  She watched herself rip 
her hand from Shinji, then turn to storm off.  

She assumed she was going to the tank to rip the asshole intruder out 
of her Eva.  She must have looked even angrier as she saw Commander 
Ikari there.  In fact, with some satisfaction, she felt her fist begin 
to swing up.

And then the world went black as she was smacked in the head by a large 
man next to the Commander in a black suit.  

The bastard was smiling, too. 







She woke up next to the most unlikely bedfellow.  

Toji sighed and helped her up.  "Hey, Langley, are you okay?  That 
asshole threw you against a wall."

She cringed, now feeling her body and mind back together.  At least her 
wish to feel pain had been granted.  It wasn't nearly as romantic and 
sweet as she remembered it being...but she savored every last breath of 
it.  "Yeah, I'm fine..." she hissed.  

They were sitting now on the hard metal 'bed' that had been the only 
furniture besides a toilet in the corner.  Asuka looked around with 
heavy eyes, realizing they were in a cell.  "What happened?" she 
blinked, then turned to Toji.  "And why are you here?"

"You lunged at the Commander.  He was about to cart you off to a 
holding cell so you could 'calm down', or so he said." Toji grumbled.  
"I wanted to help.  Ended up just getting the cuffs on myself."

"Baka!  Why the hell did you step in!" Asuka hissed, wanting only to be 
alone in this wonderful misery.  "Nobody asked you to!"

Toji seemed to find the concept funny.  "Because, if I didn't interrupt 
him, Shinji was about to pick up a chair to lob at his father."

Asuka blinked, then slumped down a bit.  "Oh." She smiled weakly.  
"That would have been a lot worse, I suppose."

"Don't mention it." Toji smiled brightly.  After all, this was Asuka's 
version of a heartfelt apology, and it was nice to have 'earned' one, 
even if he would never admit it. 

The images came back to her slowly, and soon, she was sitting back up 
again, straight.  "W...did I imagine the new kid?"

Toji sighed and shook his head.  "No.  I guess they found the Fifth 
Child.  I didn't get a chance to ask his name, but the test seemed to 
be going just fine."

Asuka sighed and nodded. 

"I'm sorry." Toji said gruffly.  "I know it must be a bitch to watch 
some little punk in your Eva.  It's not right what they're doing, and I 
just needed to tell you that now." He paused, then sighed. "I'm sorry 
if you didn't want me to say that." He added. 

Asuka smiled up at him.  "It's okay.  I figured it out on my own." 
Then, a bit softer.  "Thanks, though.  I was getting worried that I was 
the only one who thought it was a bad thing."

Their conversation was interrupted by the loud clang of the door 
opening, and a white light flooding their eyes, drowning out the giant 
red glow of the NERV logo behind them.

"Second and Forth Children will report to Commander Ikari immediately." 
A loud, annoying guard said, snapping his movements into crisp 
perfection as he vacated the door for them to exit.

"Ahh, shiest." Asuka hissed as they both got up.  "Another trip to the 
'principal's office'."  

Toji nodded, crossing his arms and doing his best to intimidate the 
guard with a glare as they walked by.  The guard smiled inwardly.  Good 
kid.  Maybe if he was a foot taller, it would have worked.  






Shinji felt like a caged animal as he paced back and forth in the hall.  
Rei watched him with an almost (for Rei) worried expression.  Misato 
just tried to look indifferent and wished she had a beer, rather than a 
can of soda.  "There's not much we can do for now." She mentioned out 
loud. 

"She's going to get kicked out." Shinji said, resting his head against 
one of the metal lockers with a loud 'CRACK!'.  "My father is going to 
kick her out and then she's going to get depressed and run off 
somewhere I'll either never find her, or she's goinna do something 
stupid and..." he cringed. 

"Ikari-kun." Rei said.  "Asuka will not do anything stupid."

Misato and Shinji looked at her.  "You don't know that for sure." 
Shinji frowned, then began to pace again.  

"I do." Rei said quickly.  In fact, it was a rather forceful tone (for 
Rei) and it gave him pause.   "She will be fine.  Also, Toji-kun is 
there with her."

Misato smiled softly as Shinji sighed and sat down between them.  Rei 
even looked slightly relieved (well, for Rei).  "This day got off to a 
bad start." She sighed.  "We really should try to make the best of it, 
Shinji."

He glared at Misato.  "And how do we do that?"

"Try to be nice to the new guy, for one." Misato said, glaring him back 
down.  "I know full well you want to tear anyone a tracheotomy if they 
hurt Asuka, but this poor guy probably just came in on a midnight 
flight, hasn't eaten or slept yet, and it is VERY probable he hasn't 
even been told he's replacing anyone."

Shinji sighed again, and relaxed another level in his little onion-
layer ball of anger.  "You're right."

"Everyone is talking like we might actually be able to go home soon." 
Misato sighed and stretched her head and shoulders back.  "And with the 
last two Angels almost ripping us apart, I think that everyone just 
wants the job done, and over with." She sighed.  "You know we can't 
count on Asuka right now, and if that means we all die, I think causing 
her a little bit of job insecurity is acceptable."

"That's cruel, Misato." Shinji said.

"But you know I'm right, don't know." She replied.   

It was a moment of silence, but Shinji finally nodded his head.  "Hai."

"The whole reason we're here, Shinji, is because we all play a part to 
get the job done." Misato continued.  "I'm sure there are many people 
better for my job than I am.  However, I know what we're up against, 
and therefore, I think differently than some asshole off the job-pool 
who has a decade more experience than I have and three degrees on the 
wall." She smiled softly.  "Asuka is an amazing pilot.  But right now, 
she can't handle the mental pressure.  So, in a rare move, she will be 
held to the side so she doesn't die like everyone else seems to do in 
this bloody organization."

"Hai.  I agree." Shinji said, looking up at his roommate.  "I don't 
want her to die.  I just feel angry, I guess."

"We all do, Shinji." Misato sighed and stood.  "The fact your father 
seems to have so much...fun...pointing out everyone else's mistakes 
doesn't help.  But when this is all over, I want to be able to visit 
you and Asuka when you're all grown up and married and have little 
chibi-versions of yourselves running around." She winked.  "Got it?  No 
more sad stories after this job.  I want you two to be happy."

"As do I, Ikari-kun." Rei smiled warmly.  "I have heard that baby-
sitting is a rewarding experience.  I would enjoy helping out."

Shinji smiled and blushed. "Arigato, Rei-chan."

Misato laughed.  "Now that would be fun to watch."

"Yes.  I have heard that it is important to have a reliable babysitter 
so that the married couple can still have time for sex." Rei said 
casually.  

Both Shinji and Misato felt their jaws drop. 

"Uhm...where did you hear that?" Misato blinked. 

"I was reading one of your beauty magazines." Rei said with a smile.  
"I also learned one hundred and four new...uhm...'sex-tips'.  The one 
with the cold rock behind his..."

"AHH!" Misato clasped her hands over the younger woman's mouth.  "Rei, 
it's not polite to talk about these things in public."

Rei smiled brightly.  "I was just kidding, Misato."

Misato began to get very worried that Rei now had the sense of humor to 
fake her out.  Shinji just laughed. 

"I'll tell you what, Shinji.  You go and get some food, and we'll stay 
here and wait for the new kid, and also keep an eye out for Asuka and 
Toji.  Sound okay?"

Shinji nodded, glad to have a task he could keep his mind busy with, 
and began to walk down the hall.  "I'll bring some instant ramen for 
everyone." He promised.  

"And beer." Misato called after, hopeful, but not really expecting it.








  


Somehow, he wasn't entirely surprised to see a giant bowl of water 
where the ramen stand used to be.

The cafeteria had been closed for the day, so Shinji had left NERV in 
hopes of venturing to the ramen stand were they had, so far, shared 
some of the nicest, peaceful meals he had remembered.  Unfortunately, 
it was a bit closer to the site of the Unit 00 explosion than he 
remembered. 

"I wonder if the owner got out okay." He whispered out loud.  The man 
who owned the store seemed like he was always there, and there were 
several people in Tokyo 3 that ignored the evacuation alerts when they 
came.  

Many had realized a bunker would not save them if the end really wanted 
to come and take their lives.  

He had only dared glance over the shoulders of Maya once or twice as 
she had been preparing reports, or reading them from the Magi.  From 
what he could tell, this last Angel caused more deaths in the city than 
the others all combined.  It had been so quick...and the results so 
finite.  

Would the next Angel kill them all?  

And all the while, he wondered to himself, what he was doing wrong.  
What he was doing right.  There had to be a way to tell besides his own 
heart that he didn't entirely trust.

Even scarier, what would happen if the next Angel died and they were 
done?  Would he take this all to heart?  Would he learn, or suffer?  
Would peace come after?  Or would it only bring the chance for the 
nightmares he knew were waiting in the cracks of his mind...?

What use were all these lessons...learning them...taking them to 
heart...and believing in them...

If everything stayed the same.

And yet, he begged himself to remember.  Everything.  Lessons he saw 
from his childhood.  The way other children seemed to learn in these 
strange new ways he did not know yet.  The ones of most recent.  The 
ones that contradicted the ones he made up himself, but seemed to be 
such a natural fit that he embraced them with open eyes and an open 
mind.  

What if he died tomorrow?

Shinji had long since told himself that it wouldn't matter if he died 
tomorrow. 

But...

He needed to prove something, first.  He had to show himself this was 
all worth something.  That he wasn't just a forgotten lesson.  

He couldn't die.  Not just yet. 

The crater in front of him, however, seemed to disagree.  He could die 
anytime.  And he would.  If he was unlucky, he would die with many 
people he wished to see alive on his deathbed.  

Death was not playing favorites, and Shinji knew he was hardly worth 
the favoritism.  Not even to kind, ramen-selling old men.  

All of a sudden, he imagined the explosion.  But, instead of a thing of 
terror, it seemed amazing.  It was focused in on a white giant, far off 
from his tiny eyes.  She seemed wrapped in a snake, pure light.  It's 
movements seemed edgy and strained at first, but then, as the light 
expanded, the giant flowed.  

At first, terrible.  Then graceful.  The bindings melted off Unit 00, 
and for a brief moment, it was a free creature.  Shinji felt blinded by 
the light, refracted around in his tears, as it washed over him 
silently.  While he could feel the ground solid on his feet, he 
imagined the cataclysmic shockwave follow on the heels of the light.  A 
wall of vapor clouded his view, but lit up the sky, far outclassing the 
noon sun.  

As he blinked, only the calm water remained; ruddy in the evening 
light.  Some familiar song seemed to float on the wind as he woke from 
the vision.

That would be how he would die, if Eva was to be his death.  He felt 
slightly humbled that such an amazing sight should herald the death of 
an un-amazing life. 

Shinji sighed, looking down at the shore, watching the gentle waves 
come up to tap his shoes.  All of a sudden, though, he realized the 
song he was hearing was not in his head.  

Symphony Number Nine.  An Ode to Joy.  

In his reflection, he saw another young man.  One with grey hair, and a 
strange air about his posture that made him think of Rei.  

As the humming of Ode to Joy stopped, the boy looked over to him with 
the kindest of smiles.  "The view is improved with song, is it not?"

His voice seemed familiar, yet alien to Shinji.  It was a fine voice.  
Soft, but intelligent.  He couldn't help but smile.  "The view?" he 
turned to the crater.

The boy was perched on top of a large piece of debris that once made up 
a telephone pole and transceiver.  Now, it was simply a handy lawn 
chair to watch the water go by.  He slid down to the ground, but 
remained leaning against the rubble.  "A song is the greatest 
achievement of the human soul." He explained. "How could it not improve 
a sunset such as this?"

Shinji nodded, looking up at the sunset he had, until now, not seen.  
"It seems to help a lot." He admitted.  

A laugh.  "Your view seems entirely too clouded, Ikari Shinji-kun.  I 
am glad you could have a song to help you see through it."

Shinji blinked, then turned to him.  "How do you know my name?  I 
haven't met you before."

The boy smiled widely, walking over to him.  "It is much nicer to think 
that we have all met somewhere before, and will all meet again." He 
shrugged.  "That way, you never have to say 'good-bye', and only 
'hello, friend!'"

Shinji smiled and bowed his head.  "Well, then, hello again!" he said 
with an amused chuckle.

"I am Nagisa Kaoru." He raised his hand to shake.

"Nagisa-san..." Shinji blinked.  "You have a very good name."

The other boy paused, then smiled.  "As do you, Shinji-kun." He turned 
to the water.  "So, if your name means 'Truth', I know you will tell me 
why you are here, instead of relaxing at home."

"I went to get ramen..." Shinji looked down at his watch, and tried not 
to cringe.  "But, if my friends were hungry, they have probably eaten 
by now."

"Then we should go back to NERV and find some food for ourselves." 
Kaoru advised.  

Shinji was a bit surprised.  "You work at NERV as well?"

"Yes." The boy smiled and began walking off.  "I am Nagisa Kaoru... 
Fifth Children."

Shinji stood there for a moment, watching the boy walk off.  Something 
seemed wrong.

"Are you to join me for dinner?  Or would you like to be left to gaze 
at the sunset?"

He sighed, ignored the feeling gnawing inside his brain, and followed.  
"Coming!"










"Obstruction of the Project." Commander Ikari said, hands folded.  Eyes 
shining behind those glasses.  "Assault on a superior officer.  Breach 
of protocol." He turned to Toji.  "And another charge of assault on a 
superior officer, as well as the special security division."

Toji and Asuka stood still, their hands bound.  They shed no emotion.  

"These are serious charges." Gendo said.  "NERV is not a daycare for 
children who cannot behave."

Asuka fought back a dozen biting replies to that statement.  Most of 
them were stopped, not out of fear of reprisal, but respect for Rei 
(who had been a well of good anti-NERV jokes in her mind until 
recently) and Toji, who would more than likely feel any wrath she 
stirred up in the next few minutes.

"Have you anything to say, Miss Langley?" Gendo stood, walking over to 
her.  Always with the cold wall of separation, but with a glare that 
could do physical harm if you let it.  "We were under the impression 
that you were a mature, learned young woman.  Not a foolish baby."

Asuka looked up at him without fear.  "I plead insanity."

Gendo blinked, then smirked.  "Is that so.  You seem perfectly fine at 
the moment."

"Since when were you the expert on the human condition, Old Man?" Toji 
snapped.  "I don't see your employees throwing you parties for your 
'wisdom'."

Gendo peered to the boy with the same smirk.  "And you, Mister 
Suzuhara."

"Yeah?  What about me." He smirked back.  "Your guard threw my friend 
against the wall.  I just wanted to make sure the damn ape didn't do 
anything else."

"May I remind you that we now have an overabundance of Evangelion 
Pilots." Gendo said, then walked back over to his desk.  "Rei is quite 
able to replace you."

Now came Toji's turn to grit his teeth.  "If you think that you are 
threatening me, you're full of..."

"That's exactly right." Gendo said with a dark voice.  "I am 
threatening you.  The moment you cease to exist as a useful entity to 
me, the sooner you will cease to exist."

Toji faltered.  At first, he couldn't believe this asshole just said 
that to him.  But then, the cold reality around him...this room...the 
guards with semi-automatics outside...and the only witness also 
'expendable'.   

Gendo smiled, noting the reaction was sufficient. 

Toji stepped forward.  "I will pilot to protect my friends.  If you 
wanna stop me, then go the fuck ahead." He grumbled, clenching his 
fists together.  "Otherwise, let us go and stop wasting our time."

Gendo turned to Asuka.  "Very well.  Mister Suzuhara may report to the 
Major for his next training assignment."

Asuka flinched.  

"However, the Second is unstable.  She is a danger to herself, and 
others." He said in that way he could smile, and not smile at the same 
time.  "You will be escorted to Ward Three of the NERV clinic for 
evaluation."

The guards appeared as if they were waiting for the cue.  They probably 
were.  Toji gasped and was about to lunge at one of them when Asuka 
turned to him and shook her head.  "No."

"But..."  he watched helplessly as they grabbed her by her handcuffs 
and began to pull her out the door.  She offered little resistance. 

"Tell Shinji...that I'll try to get better." She whispered.  "I'll try 
to help.  Just tell me when the next Angel comes.  Okay?"

The door shut before he could say anything.  

Toji turned, now facing the Commander.  "I hate you." He whispered.  

Gendo just smiled.  "Don't worry...it will pass."

The door opened once more, but nobody was on the other side.  Only an 
empty hall.  Toji turned from the doorway and shook his head.  "I don't 
want it to pass.  I want to hate you forever."

The door closed swiftly behind him. 

Gendo leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling.  "I have no 
time for hate anymore." He whispered at the patterns around him.  "Time 
is growing short.  The final Angel will be here, and we will eradicate 
it."

A long, long pause.  

"Please...hold on just a little longer, Yui."










"You look troubled, Shinji-kun."  Kaoru said, looking up from the soup 
he was eating.  "Is there anything you wish to tell me?"

"Yes." Shinji sighed.  "And no.  But...I suppose it is okay, so long as 
you don't get offended."

After a long, futile search for food at the cafeteria, and finding that 
Misato had been called away on some official business, Shinji and Kaoru 
had decided on a vending machine and the empty cafeteria, now only 
populated by them and a lone janitor off on the other corner.  

"I thought that I would hate you." Shinji said, looking up with a small 
smile.  "I was worried that, because you were replacing one of my 
friends, I would be mad at you, and maybe lash out."

Kaoru blinked, then smiled as always.  "I understand.  It is hard to 
get to know new people...especially if they push friends away."

Shinji sighed and nodded, working on a sandwich of his own.  "But...I 
guess this is good, because I get to meet a new person.  And it doesn't 
mean any of my friends are gone.  Just..." he looked up.  "Is it hard 
for you to meet people too?"

"It is the nature of humans." Kaoru said.  "They do not want to be hurt 
by others, and so, build walls around themselves.  Friends are walls 
too...they keep familiar in, and unknown out."

"But...they also need you to act as a wall, then." Shinji looked up and 
sighed.  "It's hard being a wall, or hiding behind walls all the time."

"So..." Kaoru shrugged nonchalantly.  "Then what am I?"

Shinji raised his eyebrow, then looked at the boy for a moment.  "You 
are someone who slipped through a crack, but does not seem to be a bad 
unknown."

He laughed.  "Then you see me as an intruder.  A thief, perhaps?"

Shinji blushed and sat up straight.  "Not at all!  I was simply... 
making comparison." He smiled.  "Maybe you are a thief...but I have 
nothing to steal."

Kaoru thought about it for a moment.  Even then, though, he always 
seemed to have pre-fabricated answers.  "What if I am a locksmith, 
then?"

"Pardon?"

"What if I am here to help you break out of your wall that you feel 
comfortable behind, yet do not want to be in?" he paused to take a long 
sip of the broth, finishing it with a happy sigh.  "What if we were 
destined to meet, Ikari-kun?"

Shinji considered it for a while, then smiled.  "And what if we 
weren't?"

Kaoru laughed happily at the response, then stood.  "Then our futures 
have no barring on each other.  I may go about my business, and you may 
yours." He walked over to the trash and deposited his meal's left-
overs.  

Shinji shrugged. "Maybe."

"But..." Kaoru turned.  "I believe that fate has put us together." He 
smiled happily.  "I look forward to talking to you later."

Shinji jumped as his watch beeped, alerting him to the time.  "Ahh!  I 
should get back home!  Misato and the others will be worried!"

"It must be nice to have a home you can go to." He smiled softly.  

Shinji blinked, then nodded as he packed up his things. "Well, 
uhm...where are you staying?"

"NERV provides a dorm." Kaoru explained, then shrugged.  "I do not 
require a place to sleep, Shinji-kun." He paused, then smiled.  "Unless 
you would like to join me."

An almost audible twitch sounded in Shinji's head, but he just laughed 
it off.  "Well, I'll tell you what...Maybe I will talk to you later." 
He shrugged and smiled.  "How does that sound?"

"Perfect." Kaoru bowed his head.  "You can ask reception on my room or 
phone number." He smiled.  "Feel free to come by anytime.  I like 
talking with you, Shinji-kun."

Shinji considered his response.  He didn't want to sound too quick to 
answer, or fake.  But, he finally smiled and nodded.  "Me too.  Thank 
you, Kaoru-kun."

He watched the gray-headed boy walk off, then did so himself, shaking 
his head.  

"Another Kaoru..." he sighed, then smiled.  "Maybe they're good luck."








Major Katsuragi felt the need for something a lot stiffer than beer as 
she tried to digest the news of the day.  What a fucked up day.  

Inside, huddled around the television, sat Maya, Toji and Kensuke.  
Maya was trying to put on a good face, but both boys looked grave.  
Pen-Pen watched the TV, but even he seemed worried about something. 

Two people shared her balcony with her.  Misato turned to Ritsuko and 
Makoto.  The older woman seemed content to stare out at the night's 
sky.  The younger man was watching Misato nervously.  "What do you 
think of all this, Major?"

"It seems odd that the last few attempts of the Angels have been to get 
Asuka away from her Eva." He whispered.  "And...if...if the Fifth 
really is an Angel..." she shook her head.  "We cannot allow him to 
pilot.  Not even for tests.  We must watch him, just to be sure." 

"What if we need him to pilot?" Makoto asked.  

"Then we let him.  If we have to fight another Angel, that means he's 
not." Ritsuko said.  "I am quite certain that there is only one more.  
Ikari's plans are all based on it.  Even the plans from the old men at 
SEELE seem to be coming to a climax."

"And, Asuka?" Misato turned.  "Were you able to find out where they are 
keeping her?"

Ritsuko nodded, then looked inside to Toji, who seemed deeply 
reflective at the moment.  "The kid did good.  Third Ward is all brain-
related.  It was easy to track her down.  The Commander didn't order 
anything beyond her being confined in her room...but...some of the 
doctors there might go above his head and order medication." She 
paused.  "Especially if Asuka fights it."

"Oh shit..." Misato shivered in the warm night's air.  "Please don't 
tell me that...I have enough things haunting me." She paused, then 
looked up at the blonde.  "What about the other thing."

Ritsuko looked away.  "At...well...at first, I thought you were insane 
for asking.  And, normally, I would have passed it off and gone for 
more coffee."

Misato grumbled.  "Then why didn't you?"

"Because...the Magi were hacked into a while back, and I thought that, 
maybe, that was the bit that was changed." She smirked.  "It seems so 
foolish, that someone would hack a super-bio-computer just to change 
the ages of a few children, but it was a start.  A pointer.  Somewhere 
I could look, instead of guess."

"And?" Misato blinked. 

"Nothing." She laughed.  "As far as anyone but the actual Children 
know, they're fifteen, but only after their birthdays this year."

"Shit." She sighed.  "So much for that."

Ritsuko shook her head.  "However, Maya and I found some other 
interesting things while we were looking." She looked around.  "The 
Fifth Child has no records.  Much in the same way as Rei.  The 
Commander, or maybe even SEELE, did not want anyone to know where he 
came from.   I'm guessing SEELE, since Ikari seems to think he's got 
another wonderful, expendable pilot." She cleared her throat.  
"But...the kicker is the test results from the boy."

"They were pretty high from what little I saw of them." Misato nodded. 

"No.  That's not it." Ritsuko shook her head.  "You see...at first, 
they were just nice, high sync rates.  But...after the first minute, it 
was like he could control the actual sync ratio through his will."

Misato blinked.  

"Think of the Eva like this...You have a huge monster with this big 
void of consciousness and soul.  It NEEDS to connect to a soul and a 
mind to function.  And then you have the pilot...who is normally not 
used to sharing their soul, but will learn...and sometimes...can 
naturally." Ritsuko said, then took a moment to think of how to 
continue.  

"When the pilot wants to connect to the Eva, their soul is amplified so 
it can fill that huge void in the Eva, and hopefully, cause it to 
move...fight...do whatever.  Right?"

"I'm with you so far." Misato nodded. 

"But, the technology is still new...and as you saw with the dummy plug, 
it is not perfect.  Even in it's most pure form of the dummy 
plug...amplified to 100% Sync, the Eva knew it wasn't real, and failed 
to activate." She grinned...a little bit spooky.  "However, when you 
get someone like Shinji...who has all this soul, and this natural 
ability to give it to the Eva...mad enough, we have seen the ratio past 
400%, meaning the void is not only filled, but it actually permeates 
itself, flooding the pilot AND Eva with this supercharged....uhm... 
soul." she laughed.  "I'm not making any sense, am I."

Misato smiled.  "You're doing fine."

"While this new kid cannot reach the amazing numbers that Shinji and 
Asuka can, he..." she paused, then sighed.  "I can't explain it...but I 
believe that he can bypass the Entry Plug."

The Major blinked.  "What do you mean?"

"He's able to share his soul with the Eva like it was like popping 
bread in a toaster." Ritsuko said, then shook her head.  "He doesn't 
need to amplify, or change any signals or bullshit like that.  He 
just...syncs at whatever he wants to.  If he wants to sync at 40% so he 
doesn't feel much more than a pin-prick when Unit-02 gets shot, he 
could.  Then, he could ramp it up to 90%, explode through an AT Field, 
then rip whatever is behind it apart."

Misato shook her head and exhaled.  "Damn."

"And that's not all." Ritsuko smiled, shaking a bit.  "We found out, 
finally, what was changed in the hack.  You see...all this...this is 
real.  It hasn't just been placed in the Magi to frighten us."

"Then..." Misato swallowed hard.  "What was changed?"

"Maya and I found out that the only thing changed was a personnel file.  
A birth record, and a working history.  That's all." Ritsuko looked up 
and shook her head.  "Some guy named Kaoru.  The exact same name of 
this new Child...but he's almost twice the age.  Even had the picture 
to prove it.  For a while there, I thought I was onto something."

Misato turned away.  "Shit."

Ritsuko sighed, then turned her eyes to the sky.  "I get the distinct 
feeling that I'm watching a very, very, bad soap opera, and I can't get 
out...and I can't change how it's going to end."

"That's it.  Everyone's here now...I was so blind..."  The Major walked 
over to her coat, and to everyone's surprise, pulled out her pistol and 
checked it for it's ammo.  "It's going to happen tomorrow."

Makoto walked up behind Misato and placed his hand on her shoulder.  
"Misato-chan...what's going to happen tomorrow?"

She turned to him, trying not to show how much she was shaking.  "The 
beginning of the end." She said softly.  "The final Angel will attack 
tomorrow."










The gray headed young man was walking down the hall, aimed towards the 
dorms, but in no hurry, it seemed, to get there.  He began to hum "Air" 
to himself, almost as if on a whim.  As he did, he changed his course 
so he was in the middle of the hall, not on the very right. 

It was a good thing he did, because he might have tripped over the 
blue-haired woman there, waiting for him.
 
"Stop." Rei said softly.

Kaoru already had.  He turned to her with sharp, red eyes.  "First 
Children.  Ayanami Rei.  It is good to see you again."

Rei frowned, then cocked her head to the side slightly.  "We have not 
met."

"We have.  So I will simply say 'hello, friend'." Kaoru said, stepping 
past her. 

"Stop." Rei ordered once more.  

Once again, Kaoru stopped and turned to face her.  "Yes?"

"We are not friends." Rei said.  There was something in her voice that 
she hadn't expected on having.  Almost...anger.  "I am sure of it." She 
added to bolster her confidence. 

Kaoru peered at her for a moment.  Then, the smile came back.  "Maybe 
you are right...but we are the same, nevertheless."

Rei frowned more, then walked up to him.  "I will not allow you to hurt 
Ikari-kun."

Kaoru blinked, then watched Rei walk away, back down the side-hall.  
For Rei, it was her version of storming off, even though she never even 
slammed the door behind her. 

Kaoru turned, continued on his path despite the interruption, and 
continued to hum.








To be concluded....








Thanks for your patience during these last few months of Higher 
Learning, and I wish that I could have finished this all off much 
sooner than I have.  As you can see, there will be only one more 
Lesson.  <grins> But, of course, where would Evangelion be without a 
movie??  

So, don't worry...it will all be over soon.  ^_^  Whahahaahahahahahaaa!  
Depending on how much Jolt I drink, it might be bloodier...or maybe 
even more screwed up.  (though the latter is hard to accomplish.  :P  
EOE MINDFUCK! WHOWOOAOAOAA!!!)

Just a couple of things before I kick this one off to the "update" pile 
on my desktop and start working on the next one so I won't lose this 
momentum.  

-Thank you all for your wonderful support!  Especially in the Tako 
Balls awards!  ^_^  It was awesome!  And I'm glad I haven't made 
you all sick of me just yet.  Heheheh.  Soon, I promise. 
-Thank you to the House of L33T and all the good people who 
reside, hang out, and float around aimlessly there. 
-Thanks goes out to Hewlett Packard, for making me glad I make my 
own computers, and I DON'T USE THEIR SLOW-AS-ASS SHITTY COMPUTERS 
AT HOME!!!!!  ^_^  
-ARGH! 
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!  At least DELLs are faster.
-Thanks to Draxel who keeps me always wanting to write more, even 
when I don't want to. ^_^ 
-Thanks to the lovely Senie for empowering me when I least expect 
it, and letting me relax and enjoy life when I really need it.


Most importantly, thanks go out to everyone who, like me, is getting 
sick of war, fear and hate...things that should only be written about.  
Hopefully, they'll be in history books soon. 

Ja for now!  But of course, not before an OMAKE!  ^_^ 








OMAKE
*****

Misato winked.  "Got it?  No more sad stories after this job.  I want 
you two to be happy."

"As do I, Ikari-kun." Rei smiled warmly.  "I have heard that baby-
sitting is a rewarding experience.  I would enjoy helping out."

Shinji smiled and blushed. "Arigato, Rei-chan."

Misato laughed.  "Now that would be fun to watch." She paused...then 
thought about it.

The image of Rei sitting down at the table of the Shinji/Asuka 
household filled her mind...

Rei sat there, staring at the small baby.

The baby watched back, drooling slightly. 

The baby then blinked.

Rei would smile, slowly, and stand up.  "I win again."

The baby would then cry, until Rei promised him a rematch staring 
contest.

Misato shivered.  "Never mind...I don't wanna see that...it would be 
too eerie."

*****






Until next time...may a star shine on the hour of our meeting!
( sorry...too much LOTR ^_^ )

strikef@bigfoot.com
www.studioshinnyo.com
www.geocities.com/Tokyo/9110


Strike Fiss, Studio Shinnyo 2001.  Khattam-Shud, EOF