Neon Genesis Evangelion Higher Learning Strike Fiss, 2000 Twenty-Third Lesson: "Learning Nothing" Asuka stood proudly. One hand was on her waist, while the other held a clipboard full of German text. This was an important moment, and if everything was to go well, she would have to read the list perfectly. "Are you ready, my kawaii baka-Shinji?" she smiled down at him from her vantage point on the couch. Shinji's knees became weak at her calling his name with such affection. (for Asuka, anyway) But he bowed crisply and thudded the end of his mop on the ground like a sceptre. "Hai!" She nodded, looking at the list. "FOOD!" Shinji gasped, running over to the kitchen table and checking what was there. Potato chips a plenty, three kinds of Poky (tm) in quantities enough to make a forest green with envy (as well as chlorophyll), a veritable STATUE of beverage-container of every liquid refreshment known to science, and a large tray of cracker-meat-and-cheese snacks that they had hand-made for the occasion. He counted all the items and turned back to Asuka with a nod. "Check!" Asuka continued. "ENTERTAINMENT!" Shinji gasped and sprinted over to the living room. Asuka had dug out her stereo system, magazines and manga, putting most on the little coffee-table. Shinji had added his impressive music collection to her own, and set up the Sega system on the T.V.. He even checked it's connections before reporting "Check!" "BATHROOM!!" It wasn't a dumb thing to check on, considering the amount of preparation that usually went into just getting the apartment THIS nice. (i.e., no garbage laying around) Shinji hustled over to the bathroom with his mop. Asuka waited with a official looking frown as she heard the toilet flush once. Then, he scampered back out. "Check!" "And now..." Asuka nodded with a sigh. "Don't be shy..." she pointed at him. "BODY ODOR!" Shinji sighed and raised his arms to do a quick 'pit check'. "Check." She did the same and smiled. "Perfect! We're all done. Anything else we need, Shinji-kun?" He shook his head. "Nope! That seems to be about..." They both gasped as the door opened. "ROOM-MATES!!!" Pen-Pen squawked angrily. Little did they know he helped fix the toilet! Ungrateful humans... Misato, on the other hand, entered the living room. "Tada..." she blinked, looking around at the children. "Uh...what's going on?" Both blinked, looking at the food, music, and mop (that Shinji quickly hid behind himself) "Nothing, Misato-san!" they echoed in a spooky 'sync-training' flashback. She blinked, looking at all the evidence, but then regarded Shinji's innocent little look on his face. It was a bit TOOOOOOO innocent... And Asuka was known to 'convince' Shinji into doing things sometimes... "Are..." she frowned. "Are you two planning a party?" They shook their heads quickly. Shinji promptly folded under Misato's glare. "We're just having Hikari, Toji and Kensuke over for..." he fell over as Asuka whapped him on the back of the head. Misato looked around. "Great...now I'm going to have to find a babysitter." she sighed, crossing her arms. "BABY-sitter?!?!?" Asuka all but yelled. "WHO do you think you are TALKING to!?!? We're..." "Still kids, as far as I'm concerned." Misato frowned, glaring down the younger female of the house. "And this is MY apartment, I might add." Both children sighed. Shinji tried to atone for his slip-up. "But...Misato-chan. We've had friends over before...it's not like it's a big party." Asuka nodded eagerly. "That's the truth, Misato! We were just goinna eat junk food and play video games and music!" She sighed and walked past them. "I'm sorry, but I'll be out tonight. I'm going to see if Kaji can come over and look after you guys." "Kaji!?!" Asuka beamed, then caught herself quickly as she sensed the air around Shinji get colder. "Uhm..." Misato picked up the phone and started dialling. Asuka smiled sheepishly at Shinji. "Gomen...habit." Shinji sighed and nodded. "Hai. I understand." Determined to make Shinji relax about it, she leaned over and kissed him on the corner of the mouth while Misato wasn't looking. "I promise...just habit." He nodded, blushing terribly, but not very convincingly. "Hai." Asuka was about to get more offensive when Misato came back into the room. "What time is it?" she gasped, looking for the clock. "Six-Twenty." Asuka pointed to the stove-top clock. "AHH!" Misato gasped, ripping off her work clothes as she ran into her room. "I'm goinna be LAAAAAAAAAATE!" "Where are you going?" Asuka blinked, realizing that if Kaji was coming over... "I gotta date." Misato smiled, poking her head out from around the corner. Both children produced large sweat drops on their respective foreheads. "Anyway, Shinji, we're running low on milk...and if your friends are coming over, make sure Kaji has enough to eat. He said he'd be over in a bit. You might want to meet him downstairs." Misato said between moments of clothing-muffled speech. "Asuka, behave. He said he's been really busy, but he owed me a favour. He might need to get some work done here. I'll might have to run off early in the morning, so I don't have much time to shop. Kaji will make sure you guys are alright for the next few days." "Just what kind of 'favour' was that?" Asuka smirked as Shinji was getting on his shoes. He was just about to open the door when the bell rang. Outside stood Toji, Kensuke and Hikari, who was nervously tagging along behind them. "Konbanwa, Shinji!" Kensuke greeted happily. "Forgive the intrusion, Ikari-kun." Hikari blushed. "I hope we're not..." "Oh! Not at all!" Shinji smiled, remembering the evening's plans. "I just have to go get some things from the store. Uhm...please, come in! Asuka's here, and Misato's just getting changed." Toji and his friend's jaws opened in glee. Kensuke immediately whipped out his camera. "Misato-san!" In a movement that would be praised by Asuka later on, Shinji almost leapt over to Toji and tossed him inside before he too could drool in the thought of Misato changing. Hikari just blinked as Shinji smiled innocently. "Ah, gomen...I thought I saw a bee." Toji picked himself up from the floor. "A bee? I didn't hear any..." Asuka bounced over to the group. "Everyone! Come on in! Make yourselves at home!" she smiled over at Shinji. "And don't forget the milk, Third Child." "Hai." he smiled, walking out of the door. "That was close." Asuka mumbled to herself, then turned to her guests. "So..." she sighed, wishing they didn't show up so early. "Anyone for some food?" Shinji was just bringing his groceries up to the counter to pay for when he saw Kaji walk by. He quickly waved, catching the older man's attention. He smiled as he entered the store. "Hey, Shinji-san. Misato making you do all the shopping again?" He smiled and nodded. "Actually, Asuka-chan and I have to insist, or she'd only buy instant ramen." Kaji noticed some of the items in Shinji's basket, including a lot of party snacks. "A party?" "Well...not really." Shinji said. "We just wanted to...Uhm...well, you see, Hikari and Toji like each other, and..." "You wanted to get them together." Kaji chuckled. "Cute. I must admit, I never thought you'd be playing matchmaker, Shinji." he looked around. "So I'm going to be the 'responsible role-model' for your gathering, am I? Misato's working late?" "Actually, I think..." he turned pink. "I think she's going on a date." Kaji blinked, not expecting that. "Mm...well." "I hope you're not mad." Shinji apologized as he paid for the food. Kaji picked up one of the bags and shook his head. "You know we haven't been going out for a while. It's okay. Just sometimes it brings back old memories." he shrugged. "But, that's life." his smile returned. "Anyone tells you differently, and I'd be surprised." Shinji nodded as they got into the elevator. "Can I ask you something, Kaji-san?" "Of course." "Can you tell me about Asuka?" he shuffled his feet. "I...I mean, before she came here?" Kaji said nothing for a moment, regarding the young man. "That..." he smiled. "That is a conversation we'll have to have later. But sure, I'll tell you." Shinji smiled a thanks as they got out and went to the apartment. "Tadaima." Shinji announced as they walked in, kicking their shoes off as they went. Asuka, for her credit, did very well. "Welcome back. Konbanwa, Kaji- san!" she walked over and took Shinji's bag for him. "Here, I'll help you with that..." Kaji's jaw was almost dropping to the floor. "Asuka...helping to carry groceries?" Shinji shrugged and took Kaji's bag to help. "It's no big deal. We have to do most of the chores here anyway." "Still..." Kaji nodded. "The girl's changed..." Toji, Hikari and Kensuke were already digging into the chips and sodas as Kaji walked over and joined them at the table. "Hey, Kaji-san!" the boys bowed. "Pull up a seat!" "Why thank you, kind sirs." Kaji chuckled, helping himself to some of the crackers. "So, anyone bring any cards?" "Hey, Kaji-kun." Misato appeared from the hall with a big grin. "What do you think?" The boys all turned (even Asuka and Shinji couldn't stop Toji in time anyway) and gasped as Misato struck a little pose. She was dressed in a flowery-purple sun dress, long, and modestly cut. On most people, it would be very cute. On Misato's impressive 'endowments', it was downright sexy. Her hair was tied back and wisps of it fell over her shoulders, framing her neckline. "I..." Kaji blinked, then smiled. "That's a very nice dress, Katsuragi-chan." The boys all just nodded. Luckily, Toji didn't say anything incriminating, while Kensuke did for him. "Damn..." he gasped and remembered to get a shot of the Major for his camera. "Glad you like it." Misato nodded, grabbing her shoes and looking at the clock. "Oy...almost Seven. You sure you can handle everyone here, Kaji?" Kaji smiled at the children. "I'm sure they won't be too much trouble." Toji, Kensuke and Shinji smiled their official 'stooge' smiles. "Famous last words." Misato winked. "Don't wait up, boys and girls!" she put on her shoes and was out the door without another word. Kaji sighed and stretched out. "Well, I can't say I don't feel a bit envious toward whoever she's wearing that dress for..." "You and me both." Kensuke sighed. Hikari and Asuka grumbled. "Well, I can't say I envy NERV HQ." the captain sighed as he and his three co-pilots walked around the aircraft. "You and I both, sir." one of them said. The customary check of the wings and control surfaces was almost done, and the fuel was almost finished being piped into the massive Supercarrier Jet. Two dozen men and women in lab coats were off to the side, performing their last, pre-flight checks on the cargo. Under the massive shadow that the aircraft wing's cast down, the irregular glints of metal and white paint on a black background hinted at something very dangerous being loaded. Evangelion Unit 03. With it's dark colors and grimacing, pug-like face, it looked like a baron of hell...ready to swallow them up like the Second Branch had been. Luckily, this unit didn't have an S2 engine system, and so, the tension around the aircraft was only 'mind- numbing' and not 'unbearable'. "Ugly mother fucker isn't it?" One of the techies mentioned as he handed the captain the last scanning report on a personal computer- palm-top. He nodded, signing the report and sighing. "I'm not going to relax until this sucker is in Tokyo, and we're back out over the ocean." he turned to his crew, who were all still staring at the beast. "This mission is a no-shit. Do you remember what that means?" His chief co-pilot nodded and smiled. "No shitting around, no causing shit, and avoiding shit at all cost, you shit us not." she stated crisply. "Exactly." he nodded. "Now, I have the words of honor from fifty people that this thing is as harmless as a rock without power. However, despite the fact that they have no fucking idea what this thing might do, we're also going to be on the look out for any external trouble. That means terrorists, missiles, other Evangelions, hell, and if an Angel attacks I wouldn't be surprised. Anyone sees ANYTHING out of the ordinary, you tell me immediately." The crew of Neo Path 400 saluted under their aircraft's shadow, still looking up at the monster hung beneath it. Unit 03 grimaced back with an unblinking stare. Hikari and Asuka sat off to the side, watching Toji and Kensuke battle it out with a flight-simulator game on the TV. The volume was turned up and they were shouting and hollering, so it was pretty safe for the girls to talk. "I...I didn't know Ayanami liked Toji..." Hikari said suddenly, just loud enough to be heard by Asuka. Asuka groaned inwardly, wondering how anyone could be fooled by Wondergirl, but kept face for her friend's happiness. "Well, you never know...she is pretty quiet. Nobody pays much attention to her." "Well...I wonder if I should let them..." "What?!?!" Asuka groaned. "No! She said it was no problem..." she leaned into Hikari's shoulder. "You would be a fool to pass up this opportunity! How many times have you heard of a rival girl actually stepping down honourably? You'd better grab hold quickly before someone else rises up to challenge you!" "I...I guess..." Hikari was completely red. "Still, that sounds so aggressive! I'm not like that..." "You should be!" Asuka smiled, wagging a finger in front of her friend's nose. "Boys like that." Hikari wondered if Asuka knew exactly what all the boys thought of her at school...but then realized that, even with their low opinions of the redhead, they still yearned for her. "Well...maybe a little." "Any boy that can't handle a strong woman is exactly that." she nodded. "A boy. Not a man." she grinned. "If Toji can't handle you as a woman, then you don't need a little boy like him anyway." Hikari turned completely red. "Asuka!!" Shinji and Kaji were in the kitchen, washing up the dishes. The young Ikari was watching the living room again, trying to figure out what the two girls were talking about. Hikari was blushing terribly and Asuka was smiling in that way that half frightened him...half excited him. It was a dangerous mix...they could be talking about anything! Maybe even him... "Shinji...plate." Kaji smirked, watching the boy jump back to attention. "Hai!" he grabbed the dish and dried it, putting it with the others in the cubboard as Kaji reached for another with a soapy cloth. "Women..." Kaji smiled. "No greater mystery exists." "Nani?" "Look at them." Kaji said, peering around the corner with Shinji. "The boys don't even realize the plotting and scheming that's happening behind their very backs. I have always maintained that women make the best spies, since they have many natural talents in that area." Shinji smiled. "Asuka was pointing that out to me too. I didn't realize it before, but I think I'm beginning to see." "Asuka's teaching you the ways of the opposite sex?" Kaji laughed. "I pity you." he paused, then shook his head. "However, if you survive, I doubt you will have found a better teacher." "I think I'll survive for now." Shinji stated proudly. "I think you will too." Kaji smiled, then sighed, turning to the dishes. He finished up washing two glasses. "Shinji, will you join me for a drink?" Shinji blinked. "But...I'm a boy." Kaji chuckled. "Not like that." he paused to regard the glass as he held one up. "Drinking is the oldest form of male bonding. For countless years, our kind has told stories and tales over glasses of ale and liquor. Sometimes, even a bit of wisdom leaks out from time to time." Shinji smiled brightly. "Oh, in that case, sure!" Kaji raised an eyebrow. "You agreed a little quick. You've gotten drunk before?" With a dry grin, Shinji nodded. "Oh...that's right." Kaji laughed. "You live with Misato." he walked over to the fridge and pulled out four beers, setting them on the table. "Stupid question." "Won't Misato mind?" Shinji asked, sitting down across from him. "We'll re-stock for her." Kaji nodded, and popped the tab on his can. Shinji followed suit and they paused. "What should we toast to?" Shinji took one last look out into the living room and then smiled. "How about to someday figuring out women." "My my..." Kaji laughed, tapping his can to Shinji's. "You really have done this before." he bowed his head and took a long sip. Shinji followed suit, and managed to get down a large gulp before having to come up for air. "I liked the sake better." he shrugged, but then took another sip. "So what should we talk about?" Kaji asked, already knowing the answer. Shinji looked up. "What was Asuka like in Germany?" he beamed. "I wanna know." Kaji took another drag of ale and smiled. "Well...I first met her when..." To Be Continued... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Good day! Once again, the authors notes: I'm going to try to keep this short, as I'll be trying to get Lesson 24 done tonight as well, but there's a few things I'll point out before I leave with an Omake. -This is where the story starts to diverge from the Eva series. I know it's been bouncing back and forth a bit here N there, but you'll start to notice major changes soon. -I'm trying not to make Shinji's maturing attitude and mind too OOC, but I also saw a perfect opportunity to expand the 'talks' that he and Kaji share in Ep 17-18. I hope it's not too much/too little. Any comments would be wonderful! Lesson 24 will have more. -Thank you Power DVD! While Episode 18 isn't out on a region 1 encoded DVD disk yet, it IS out on VCD...and I happen to have the set. Power DVD has a handy dandy little 8X feature (my ROM is an 8X, so I don't know if others will do it too) and I can swiftly go through the eps, looking for subtitled info. If anyone's wondering, the Supercarrier Jet that is transporting Unit-03 IS actually called the Neo Path 400...at least in designation. Tee hee! Silly American names. OMAKE------------------------- SCENE: Asuka's room. Dark outside, but the soft glow of candle light eminates from within. Clothes are strewn about in an amazing mess, including a boy's school outfit. The trail leads over to the bed, where two figures are resting after vigorous sex. Asuka: Oh my...that...that was very....wow.... Kaworu: You said it, babe! Asuka: ... Kaworu: What's wrong? Asuka: Uhm...well... It's just that... Kaworu: It's okay, you can tell me! Asuka: Well...it's just that I thought you were...GAY! Kaworu: Gay? Asuka: Yeah! You and Shinji! You were always hitting on him! Kaworu: Ooooooh! THAT! Naw, I'm not gay, I just pretend I am to get chicks! Asuka: ... Kaworu: Don't look so surprised. Shinji's the one who taught me! He's down at NERV right now boning Maya and Misato! Asuka: Kaworu: It always works. ------------------------- e-mail: strikef@bigfoot.com homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/9110 Strike Fiss, Ninja Crowbotics 2000. Khattam-Shud, EOF.