Neon Genesis Evangelion Higher Learning Strike Fiss, 2000 Sixteenth Lesson: "Timing is everything" Misato yawned. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Of course, she also wasn't getting much sleep. Good Mother-Nature seemed to connect the two quite well, and therefore, one could be explained by the other. "Are you okay, Major?" the voice of Ritsuko floated over to her across the lounge. The Major nodded. "Just grab me a coffee on the way and I'll live." she turned around. A smile slid across her lips as she saw her friend already bringing an extra mug over. "Thanks." "Why so sleepy?" Ritsuko asked, sitting down across from her. She took off her glasses and started to rub her nose. "Has Kaji been spending his weekends with you again?" "WHAT!?!" Misato spluttered. Ritsuko just grinned. "Of course not!" she frowned. "Actually, I haven't seen him in a while. Normally he at least stops by..." "Then who's the lucky guy?" Ritsuko pressed. "I doubt it's work that's been keeping you up late. We've been slow ever since the cleanup effort was finished." she smirked. It sounded so mundane, but of course, a NERV cleanup effort usually involved several tones of gore and a river of water and industrial strength cleaners. "No, it's not that." Misato finished another big yawn before trying a bit of the coffee. "If THAT was the case, I wouldn't be complaining about it." she smirked. Ritsuko shrugged. "Then...what???" "The Children." Misato grumbled. "I don't know why someone didn't tell me before." "Asuka and Shinji?" Ritsuko blinked. "Why? What are they..." "I mean, far be it for me to ruin a party." Misato yawned. "But they're at it EVERY night!" CLINK! Ritsuko nearly dropped her cup. "Pardon?" "Well, I'm not sure when they started. But it sounds like they've been doing it for a while now." Misato took a long, grateful sip of her coffee as Ritsuko just blinked at her. "I just wish they didn't do it when I was around. Good coffee, by the way." "But..." the scientist gasped. "Don't you want to be there to stop it?" "Why would I stop them?" Misato raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I don't want to spoil their fun or anything." "You don't try to stop them!?!?" Ritsuko blinked. "Do they know you know?" "Of course they do." she shrugged. "Kinda hard for me not to. They're at it all the time." she chuckled. "They even asked if I wanted to join in one time, but I'd be too embarrassed. It's been so long!" Ritsuko turned white...then completely red. "Well, I mean, it's not like they're perfect either, but I'm probably even more out of practice." Misato continued. "They sound really good together...but, well, especially Asuka, every once in a while she'll just let out this screech that just drives me nuts and..." "YOU ARE A PERVERT!!!!!!" Ritsuko yelled, attracting the attention of the dozen or so others sharing the lounge with them. Misato blinked. "Pardon?????" "YOU! THEM! Just sitting back and...listening to them having...making out across the hall!??!" Ritsuko huffed. "Commander Ikari is goinna KILL YOU when he gets the physical scan results this week!!!!!!" Misato blinked again. Then started laughing. "This is NO laughing matter, Major!" Ritsuko slammed her cup on the table. "They're practicing for a concert." Misato laughed. "A school concert. With music." Everyone looked at Ritsuko. Ritsuko promptly wished to die. "Oh..." "Calm down already!" Misato chuckled. "Well, I gotta thank you for yelling like that. I'm awake now." Completely red, Ritsuko tried to compose herself. "Well...the way it sounded..." she coughed. "So what's this concert thing?" "Nice recovery." Misato added with a tip back of her mug. "Well, from what I can gather, the kids are going to put on a concert for parent teacher interviews. Should be a nice change from the usual boring chats." "A concert?" Ritsuko pondered. "Rei hasn't said anything about that." "Well, I suppose it's not dealing with her normal work. Maybe she didn't think it was important to bring up." she finished her drink. "Rei doesn't exactly inspire casual conversation." "You'd be surprised." Ritsuko smiled cryptically. "But yeah, I suppose you're right." she yawned. "I wonder if the Commander would want to come?" Misato blinked. "The Commander?" she smirked. "Since when does he live outside of NERV?" "It's been a slow time for everyone, Major." she smiled. "I'm sure he'd like to spend time with his son." Her friend replied with a raised eyebrow. "Well, at least once in a while." Ritsuko amended, then turned her attentions back to her own cup. Misato started to snicker. Ritsuko blinked. "What?" "You're lucky you stopped me when you did." she said with a groan. "I was just about to say they're practicing their fingering tonight." "Cut that out!" "Shinji?" Shinji blinked, looking up from his music sheet. "Yes?" "I'm bored." Asuka yawned, setting aside her violin. Shinji blinked. "Oh." Kaoru sighed as he walked down the street. The weekend was hard for him, as it always was. Too much time alone to get caught up in stray thoughts. Still, at least he had some essays to grade and dinner to make. At least he wouldn't be completely bored that evening. That thought took on a whole new meaning as he opened the door to his apartment. He smelled coffee. And cologne. "What the..." Kaoru closed the door behind himself and was about to put down his groceries when he felt the cold metal touch of a gun barrel at the base of his neck. In a calm, cool voice, Kaji Ryouji walked out from behind his shoulder and said: "You might not want to make any sudden moves." a smile. "Your coffee has a lot more caffeine than I'm used to, and I'm a little jumpy." Kaoru breathed out a long sigh. "I don't suppose I could offer you some decaf?" "That all depends on what you say in the next ten minutes." Kaji stated flatly. "If I like what you have to say, then sure, I wouldn't mind a cup. If I don't, you'll have to worry about bloodstains on your carpet instead of coffee." It probably would have hurt a lot if he had been paying attention to his back at that moment. Losing your balance and being wedged against another body and the edge of the dining table would usually warrant a cry of pain. All Shinji said was: "HmPH!" Of course, his mouth was slightly muffled by the mouth of Asuka Langley Sohryu. She gasped, breaking free from the kiss with a worried look on her face. "Are you okay?" Her voice was almost drowsy, just over a whisper. Shinji found it rather pleasant indeed. Shinji nodded, propping himself up at a less painful angle...also serving to quiet the worries of Asuka, who found the situation again convenient for a kiss. Her arms circled around his back, propping herself against the table as well, but just enough so she could lay against his body and kiss him harder. A bored Asuka, Shinji found, was a force to be reckoned with. Of course, it was becoming so even more when he felt her arms slide around to his front and start to work on his belt buckle. The warning signals in his mind told him he should start to panic now, but he reasoned it was only fair... after all, Asuka was now leaning against him without a skirt, clad only in panties. He relaxed against her and tried not to shake too much, instead focusing on her mouth pressed against his. Oh, and her tongue was rather nice as well. "Mmm..." With one final yawn, Misato gave up. Ritsuko and Maya both looked over to her and shook their head. "Major, you should get home and get some sleep." the elder said, turning away from the projection screen. "You're only allowed to pull in three hours overtime without authorization anyway." Misato sighed and looked at her watch, then at the report board. She wanted to get a head start on next week's paperwork, but it was beginning to fade in and out of her mind anyway. "Maybe you're right." she nodded, rubbing her eyelids. "Can you two handle it from here?" Maya nodded with her usual spunk. "Of course, Major. You go home and get some sleep." The Major rose to her feet and grabbed her coat. "Okay. Just put the reports under my door when you leave so I can look them over tomorrow morning." she yawned. "I hope the Children play something quiet tonight." Ritsuko smiled and nodded her head as Misato walked out of the door. Maya looked up at her. "Sempai?" "They're having a concert at school." Ritsuko explained with a chuckle. "I'm glad you weren't around this afternoon, though. I was so embarrassed!" Maya smiled brightly, eager to know. "What do you mean?" "Well, the way Misato put it..." she laughed. "I thought she was talking about Shinji and Asuka having sex. Very loud sex." The younger scientist promptly blushed redder than a tomato. "T...That's disgusting!" "I thought so too." Ritsuko laughed quietly. "But then she explained why they were keeping her up all night. Practicing for the concert." she shook her head. "I should have known. Asuka would probably kill the poor guy if he ever tried to lay a hand on her body." Maya laughed and nodded. "That sure does sound like Asuka, Sempai." "N...no!" Asuka scolded Shinji as he reached around under her shirt. Shinji paused, confused. "It's not a snap-clasp..." she smiled softly. "It's a button to the left..." "Ahh...okay..." Shinji's fingers promptly found the right clasping mechanism on her bra. A satisfying 'click' later and the strap was free. Asuka purred her approval of his handiwork and smothered his mouth with her own once more. "Mmm...you're good at this...have you been practicing on Rei again?" she teased as she slid his belt away. "No way!" Shinji said, turning slightly pink around the ears. Then, he smiled. "She has the snap-clasps..." "BAKA!" Asuka laughed and bit his lip playfully. Kaji never let his eyes off Kaoru as he drug a chair into the living room area from the kitchen. He twisted it around, making the back face forward and then sat down, hanging his gun in front of himself, ready in case it had to be used. "Do you know who I am?" Kaji asked firstly. Kaoru sighed, shaking his head. "I have no idea. You know, I'm just a teacher. If you're here for cash you picked a really lousy..." "Miyazaki Kaoru." Kaji interrupted. "Age 26. Blood type A. You are a teacher of second year middle-school classes A-1 and A-2 at Tokyo Three Marduke, and say your birth-date is June first, but I have records that state July first." he cocked his head to the side. "Tell me, do you often get those two mixed up?" Kaoru just blinked, completely stunned. "You can call me Kaji. As you can guess, I don't care about money." he smiled grimly. "Kaji?" Kaoru blinked. He frowned. "I'm sorry...but have we met before?" "N...no..." Kaoru shook his head, looking away quickly. "I...just I used to know someone with that name..." he chuckled. "Never mind." Kaji searched his memories for anyone else with his name, but came up blank. He made a mental note to check personnel files again. "Now, if you don't mind, I think you are down to eight minutes." "Eight minutes?" Kaoru blinked. Kaji nodded, then leaned forward slightly to make his point. "Yes. Eight minutes to tell me why you're stalking the pilots of the Evangelion." Kaoru made every attempt he could to keep calm, but that didn't turn out to be nearly enough under the older man's glare. "W...what do you mean!?!?" he sputtered. "I'm their teacher! I'm not stalking..." Kaji reached across to the coffee table nearby, retrieving an object that Kaoru hadn't noticed on his way inside the door. It was his cardboard box. From the closet. Kaoru went completely white as Kaji turned the box upside down, letting the contents fall out. A worn, slightly chipped and damaged, but still recognizable red synchronization headset hit the carpet with a soft bounce. Kaoru looked up at Kaji to see the gun was now re-pointed at him. He was finding it hard to breathe at that point. "I...I can explain everything!" The perpetually unshaven man nodded once and smiled. "Seven minutes." Misato's blue Alpine Renault A310 slid to a stop in her parking stall not too long after she left NERV. Mainly because she drove like a maniac as usual, and missed a red light due to almost falling asleep at the wheel. "Ahh...home sweet home." she yawned, looking up at the apartment with a sigh to see the lights were still on. "Damn...another practice session." she grumbled, walking up the steps to the door. Asuka resolved to practice this more often. To his credit, Shinji was an excellent kisser for someone who would usually get a nosebleed and pass out at the sight of someone else kissing. Not that Asuka was any more learned on the subject, but she was definitely a more willing student. The whole exchange was beginning to get a little more involved now. To let Shinji know she didn't mind his reactions to her, she was now pressing herself up against his pelvis. Of course, it wasn't exactly a bad deal for her, and she was finding breath was a luxury at the moment. Poor Shinji's mind was completely fried at this point, of course, but saved himself from becoming a babbling puddle on the floor by kissing Asuka with all his might. What little part of his mind was not focused on caressing her lips and tongue with his own was currently trying to solve the puzzle of how to remove her bra from under her shirt. One final tug earned him his reward, coaxing a content little sigh from her as he let the white cotton restraint flutter to the floor. Misato cursed as she walked back out to the car, this time remembering to lock the doors. Then, she sighed, turned around, and walked back up to the apartment. "I am soooooo tired..." she grumbled to herself. Shinji winced involuntarily as Asuka began to kiss neck. "Ouch..." Asuka paused, realizing her poor roommate was still propped up against the table after all this time. "Oh, Shinji-kun...should we move?" He nodded weakly. "W...where to?" The redhead looked into his eyes with a smile. "I have an idea." Shinji began to sweat. "I..." she whispered into his ear...with her hand slowly descending down his chest. "Am going to run a bath..." "A bath?" Shinji swallowed hard. "Yes." Asuka nodded, letting her hair rub up against his cheek. The way he was shivering betrayed the fact he liked it more than he was letting on. She smiled and continued. "Oh yes. And then I am going to get into the bathtub." "Oh..." "But..." Asuka pouted playfully. "I'm so tired, Shinji...and I don't think I can make it out of my clothes..." "Oh?" "So I want you to come in and help me take them off when I'm in the tub." Asuka smiled against his ear. Shinji stopped breathing as Asuka finally backed away slowly, now clad only in her panties and her white school shirt, already without it's tie. "Okay..." he nodded weakly. "Good." Asuka winked, slowly backing away. "Just wait until you hear the water stop." she grinned like a kitten who had just been tossed a ball of string. "Nice shorts, by the way." Shinji quickly covered himself, but smiled. "Uh...thanks..." "See you in a bit..." she said finally, before feeling her way around the corner. "Oh god..." Shinji shivered as he heard the water start up. "I told you already!" Kaoru yelled back. "I don't HAVE all the answers!" "That's not a very smart thing to say when you only have three minutes to live the rest of your life without holes!" Kaji growled, cocking his weapon to make the point. "Actually, you have four...if I start shooting you in the legs and arms first." "I TOLD YOU!" the teacher pleaded. "I love those kids as if they were my own! I would NEVER hurt them! This is just something I found in the bloody garbage and..." "Then what about the LCL, Kaoru?" Kaji never let up for a second. "Do three canisters of Link Connect Liquid have some sentimental value to your sick mind as well?" he pushed aside the chair. "I cared for Asuka for four and a half years, Mister. If you think I'm letting you off with a 'I'd never hurt them' rap, you have another thing coming." "If I told you," Kaoru said with accusing eyes "you'd never believe me anyway." "Then make me a believer, buddy." Kaji said. "Two minutes." Misato started towards the door of the apartment building once again. She wasn't grumbling this time, though, since her delay was caused by beer. "I'll have to thank the manger for staying open for me." Misato smiled to herself as she lugged the case of cans up along the stairs. "Though, I suppose I spend enough money there...he owes it to me." she already had a can popped open and in her hand. "I wonder how the kids are doin?" she wondered to herself around a mouthful of Yebisu. The elevator doors closed a moment later and she ascended. Shinji paced back and forth now. He was only able to do so by taking off his pants completely, but walking around the kitchen in his underwear was the last thing on his mind at the moment. "Are we goinna do it?" he whispered to himself. "What's Misato-san going to say? What's Father going to say? What am I goinna do if she gets pregnant?" he groaned. "What if she laughs? Oh god, what if she laughs? Or doesn't like it? I'm going to go crazy!" he stated to himself loudly. "What if I don't like it?" he wondered, but struck that out of his mind. "What if she doesn't like it? What if she doesn't want to do it again but I do?" he began to panic. "What if I accidentally tell her that I..." he swallowed hard. "A...and then she laughs or kicks me away or..." He could hear splashing in the tub. "Oh god I want her..." Shinji whimpered. "I...Maybe..." his eyes brightened. "We don't HAVE to do it today...maybe I can just...well..." he pondered the other activities in his mind. After all, hanging around Toji and Kensuke was more than enough sexual education to at least know what to do in times like this. "...yeah...I mean...I want to, but I'm sure she'll want to wait till later too..." Shinji's eyes brightened. "She keeps saying she doesn't want kids anyway...so she probably just wants to..." he turned red. "...be naked and..." his frazzled mind couldn't bear saying anything more but: "...and stuff..." He began to pick up his shirt and Asuka's bra and skirt, absentmindedly tucking them under his arms to bring to the clothes hamper in the laundry room. "I mustn't run away." he told himself, then thought with a smile. "The Asuka in my mind doesn't want me to run away..." The water began to slow. Shinji fought the urge to pass out, and began the long, dangerous trek (15 steps) to the bathroom door. "Thirty seconds." Kaji pressed his gun to Kaoru's temple, making the poor man stutter even more. "I can't tell you because I don't know myself!" he begged, holding his hands up over his head. "I wish I had the answers! I DON'T! I can't leave until it's finished, though!" "Until WHAT is finished!?!" Kaji demanded. "Fifteen!" "I DON'T KNOW!" the teacher screamed. "I don't KNOW what's going to happen! Things have started to change!" "Ten! Nine!" the gun dug in harder. "AAHGH! PLEASE! JUST LISTEN TO ME!" "Five seconds! I'm ALL ears!" Kaji demanded, his finger already pressing into the trigger, taking some of the 5 pounds of pressure needed away from the mechanism. Kaoru stammered, desperate on what to say. "THREE!!" "Oh god!" "TWO!!" "B..." "ONE!!!!!!!!" "SAMAEL!!!!!" Kaoru yelled back. Shinji placed his shaky hand against the door frame as the water stopped flowing. "Asuka?" he asked in a small voice. "Mmm..." she replied with a soft moan that almost brought him to his knees right then and there in the hall. "Come on in, Shinji...the water's perfect..." The door slid open. Shinji almost had a heart attack when he realized it was the front door. His hand jetted away from the bathroom door and held onto the clothes in his hands just as Misato peered into the hall. "Hey Shinji!" she yawned. "A...A...Misato-san!" he prayed he wasn't already beet-red. "Y...you're home!" He heard a splash come from within the bathroom, as well as a gasp. Misato nodded, then paused, looking him over. "Why do you have Asuka- chan's skirt in your hands?" "J...just do...doing the laundry." Shinji fumbled. "B...But Asuka's in the bath so..." Misato frowned, but her foggy mind didn't detect much more than Shinji's usual nervous banter. "Oh, okay then." she took a long sip from her beer. "Can you kids keep it quiet tonight? I'm dead tired." "S...sure thing, Misato-san." Shinji bowed his head slightly as Misato walked past him in the hallway. "Oh, and remind me to tell you about Ritsuko tomorrow morning." she laughed. "She's so much fun to embarrass." Shinji nodded. "Goodnight, Misato-san." he gave one last look at the bathroom door, then quickly turned and walked off to his room, pausing only to throw the clothes in the laundry. Asuka Langley Sohryu sat in a tub of steaming hot water up to her nose. Her hair, now damp from the steam, hung frazzled around her neck as she glared at her knees...sticking out of the otherwise pristine water's surface. Her eyebrows were knitted together in such a way to suggest extreme frustration. Her clothes, being white and soaking wet, would have offered quite a view for a certain Eva Pilot...had not a certain NERV Major interrupted the events of the evening. While it would have been quite sexy indeed, because of the sudden lack of fantasy and desire in her mind, she currently felt like a drowned rat. "BRELABLBLLALABLALBLABLAAA!" she bubbled angrily, almost sending more of the water into steam-form. Had there not been water in the way of her yelling, this fan fiction would have to be censored to keep it's Lime rating, because there would be no way to explain how a 12" diameter brass pipe, a grizzly bear, and Misato could possibly be in that situation without some kind of extreme, sexual imagery. Luckily, when Asuka did lean back far enough to expose her lips to the air, she simply added: "And then...I...am going to KILL her..." To be continued..... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Damn that was fun to write. You may notice this Lesson is about 2 times longer than most of the other ones. This is because it was simply too much fun, and would have lost too much of it's integrity, to simply cut in half and not have to worry about writing another next week. See? I'm not COMPLETELY lazy. ^_^ A few points this time around. -I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE AWAY THE STORY TO ANYONE WHO E-MAILS ME! I love all your mail, and will never get sick of it...but be warned, I will...at BEST...only give away tiny hints to the origins, directions, and final sequences of the characters and plot. -This is because I don't know myself! I make it up as I go along! -No, that's a lie...I do have some ideas...so... -This is because I am evil, and I want to torture you all for a few more months. -Hahahahaah! Also: -You can probably guess the plot is goinna speed back up soon. Now with the little emotional dilemma of the 'love triangle' settled (mostly), we'll get to the concert, Toji, and Unit 03 much faster now! I bet you all can't wait! -No hints on what "Samael" means till next Lesson. Grab "The Idiot's Guide to Angels" if you want hints. I'm not saying anything. :P -And yes...there IS an "Idiot's Guide to Angels" book. I own it. No kidding. Finally, because you've all been good little boys and girls and didn't complain too much that I missed 2 Lessons last month due to my vacation, I give you the next chapter of: -----------The Secret Adventures of the missing Unit-04!!!------------- Phone: BEEEEEP! BEEEEEP! Misato: H'ello. Ritsuko: Hey, what's happening, Major? Misato: Nuffin. Watchin' the propaganda. Havin a Yebisu. Ritsuko: ...true...true... Shinji: WUUUHHAAAZAAAAAAAHHH!!!! Misato: WUUUUHZAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Ritsuko: Yo! Who's that? Misato: Yo! Pick up the phone!!! Shinji: Hello? Ritsuko: WUUUUHHZAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! Shinji: WUUUHHZZZAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Misato: ...AAAAAHHHH!!! Shinji: Yo! Where's Unit-04??? Ritsuko: Yo, Unit-04?? Maya: YO! UNIT-04! Unit-04: Yo!!?? Shinji: WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! Unit-04: WhuuuuuuuZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh!!! Ritsuko: ...AAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Misato: ...AAAAHHAAAAAA!!! Unit-04: ...Ahahahaaha!! Shinji: ...Hahaha!! Phone: BZZZZZ! Shinji: Hold on... Hello? Rei # 2: WHUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! Ritsuko: ...Ahhahaha!!! Misato: ...Aahhhh!!! Unit-04: ...Aaaaaahhhh!!! Shinji: ...AAaaahahAAA!!! Ritsuko: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!! Unit-04: Shinji: Ritsuko: So...Whassup, Major? Misato: Nuffin. Watchin the propaganda. Havin a Yebisu. Ritsuko: True...true... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Damn I love the Whazzaaah! commercials. ^_^ Every retard on earth must say that now. And I can proudly say I was one of the first! Haahah! As always: e-mail: strikef@bigfoot.com homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/9110 Strike Fiss, Ninja Crowbotics 2000. Khattam-Shud, EOF.