****
Mina: And we're back.
**Garv and Valgarv are making out in the background with Phibrizzo frantically trying to break them apart**
Mina: O..k.. Onto the next question! Wife number one..
Zelgadiss: ....Wife?
Mina: Wife.
Zelgadiss: Do I look like a wife to you?
**In a puff of smoke, Zelgadiss is in a dress and has a bow in his hair. Xellos smiles innocently**
Xellos: Answer the question, Zel-kun ^.^
Zelgadiss: *eyebrow twitches*
Rezo: *cackles*
Mina: *tries not to laugh even though everyone else is* Wife number one.. What's your husband's biggest turn on?
Zelgadiss: My humiliation?
**Xellos sticks up a sign that says "Zelly-kun's humilation"**
Zelgadiss: O.O STOP THAT!
Xellos: Stop what?
Zelgadiss: I...th..you're cheating!
Xellos: You want the Clair Bible, don't you?
**Zelgadiss just sits there and grumbles. Meanwhile, Phibrizzo is flung across the room, cussing as Garv and Valgarv continue, then stop and look up innocently**
Mina: ....o.o;; Couple Number two.. Gourry, what's Lina's biggest turn on?
Gourry: Dressing me up like a girl? No wait!! Food!!
Lina:*holds up a sign that says "Food"*
Gourry:I got one! ^.^.... Hey Lina, is that why you wanted me to swim with you in that pool of whipped cream?
**The studio goes silent**
Lina: I don't know what you're talking about <.< >.>
Mina: This show's getting too kinky for Daytime TV...
**Phibrizzo pulls himself out of the wall, grumbling and goes back to his stage manager spot**
Mina: Amelia, what's your answer?
Amelia: That's easy. ^.^ Gourry.
Gourry: Huh?
**Syphiel nods and pulls out a sign that says "Gourry dear"**
Amelia: Yay! The Warriors of Justice got one!
Mina: Valgarv? What's Garv's biggest turn on?
Valgarv: It would be when we play the dragon game
Phibrizzo: What the hell is that?
Garv: *holds up a sign* "Dragon game"
Phibrizzo: You still didn't say what it is
Valgarv: Simple, we take turns partly turning into a dragon and then we start to see who can take more
Lina: Take more what?!?
Xellos: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Mina: *pauses a moment then chokes on her coffee* O.O
Phibrizzo: I'm sorry I asked....
Mina: So, Phibby, what are the scores after Round Three?
Phibrizzo: Couple One has 3, Couples Two and Three have one each, and Couple Four has 2.
Mina: Ooh, it's a close one. And onto question four.
Zelgadiss: Hey! This dress won't come off!
Amelia: But you look so pretty, Mr Zelgadiss!!
Zelgadiss: Amelia...*tries to dive across but Xellos catches him again*
Xellos: My, my.. Can't control yourself, can you Zel? ^.^
Zelgadiss: Help..
Valgarv: After the show, Dragon Game! ^.^ All are welcome!
Filia: *twitch* No.
Lina: Take more -what-?!
Mina:...Question Four!
Amelia: Yeah, take more what?
Syphiel: Oh dear..
Mina: QUESTION FOUR!
All: O.O;
Amelia: There's no need to yell, Miss Mina.
**Mina takes a deep breath and sighs**
Mina: What's the weirdest place you two have ever done the horizontal macarena---Phibby!!!
Phibrizzo:..What? Rezo wrote that question.
Rezo:......You're blaming the blind man?
Phibrizzo: Yep. ^.^
Rezo: It was the dragon
Filia: WHAT!?
Gourry: I remember that. **Gourry stands up and starts doing the macarena** ^.^
Mina: *counts backwards from ten* What's the weirdest place you have ever fuc*ed?
Amelia: O.O
Syphiel: O.O
**Gourry sits back down**
Zelgadiss: But..we..we haven't--
Mina: Xellos, what's the weirdest place?
Xellos: Hmm.. *taps his chin* In the Green Room.
Mina:....This green Room?
Xellos: *nods* ^.^
Zelgadiss: *holds up a sign that says "The Green Room", then blinks and looks at the sign* HEY!
Xellos: Something wrong? ^.^;
Lina: Hey..we were just in the Green room...
**The contestants all shudder, except for Garv and Val, who perk up.**
Zelgadiss: I never wrote that! O.o
Mina:....Couple number two.
Gourry: Aheh..in the Greenroom backstage. ^.^;
**Lina sweatdrops and holds up a sign that says "In the Green Room."**
Mina: Let me guess, couple number three.. In the Green Room?
Amelia: Actually, we never..er..um... fuc*ed.
**The audience goes O.O! And Zelgadiss stares and stands up wearing the dress, pointing at Amelia**
Zelgadiss: A true ally of Justice would never use that word! *He pauses, blinks and sits back down*
All: O.o; *silence, a tumbleweed rolls through the studio*
Phibrizzo: Mina.....Mina? MINA!
**Mina has a small puddle of drool forming on the podium. She looks up and blinks**
Mina: What?
Phibrizzo: The show!
Mina: ...What show?
Phibrizzo: This one!
Mina: *blinks* Oh! -This- show! *laughs nervously* Right.. Syphiel, what was your answer?
Syphiel: *holds up a sign that says "Amelia and I never (squiggly lines), I'm saving myself for Gourry Dear"*
Gourry: Saving yourself? I can save you! ^.^
Mina: Couple Four?
Valgarv: The Green Room. ^.^
**Garv holds up a sign that says "The Green Room"**
Mina: That's it. I'm never going in the green room again. Are we doing another question, Phib?
Phibrizzo: *nods*
**Rezo, Eris and Filia look a bit green and run off**
Mina: <.< We just lost our judges panel.
Phibrizzo: *nods* They were in the green room after the contestants left. They ate lunch there and everything.
Mina: ....So did I.. *runs off, gagging*
Phibrizzo: Well then, time for the next question! ^.^ *climbs up on the podium, giggling*
Valgarv: What's wrong with -them-?
Garv: Who knows? *shrugs and pets Valgarv's horn. Valgarv purrs*
Phibrizzo: Ok, Husband number one, what's the last movie you watched with your husband?
Zelgadiss: I'm not going to answer that...
Xellos: *holds up a sign that says "Zelly-kun won't answer that because he's embarassed of all the naughty movies we rented last night, even though we re-enacted them all out..." He's cut off by the lack of room.*
Zelgadiss: GAK! O.O Fruitcake!
Xellos: *purrs and kisses Zelgadiss, then looks Innocent. Zelgadiss turns an interesting shade of purple and runs out of the room gagging*
Phibrizzo: Judges? Um...ok, our judges are still getting rid of their lunches, so I'll just accept that because I like the shade Zelgadiss-san turned ^.^ Couple number two?
Gourry: Bloodsport Two.
Lina: *holds up a sign that says "Bloodsport Three"* Gourry!!!
Gourry: o.o Oops.
**The judges walk back in. Phibrizzo blinks**
Phibrizzo: Where's Mina-chan?
Rezo: She and my grandson went into a room, I think.
Xellos: Oh, drat. u.u
**Mina comes back out with her hair messed up and her top on backwards, Zelgadiss is now blushing furiously as he sits down, his dress on inside out**
Mina: *coughs* Alright, I'll take over from here, Phib.
Phibrizzo: But..but...but..
**Cheesy type music comes on and Xellos starts singing "But, But, But" before Zelgadiss clamps a hand over his mouth and pulls him back down to his seat.**
Xellos: So where were you two?
Mina: Um...ahem..the green room..Couple three..
Amelia: Were you doing anything unjust, Miss Mina? *cute smile*
Mina: o.o No?
Amelia: Okay then ^.^
Mina: Syphiel,*looks at the cards* what was the last movie you two watched?
Syphiel:I'd think that would have to be... Law and Order on the Court Channel...Miss Amelia thinks it's unjust to go to the movies playing recently-they're all "unclean"
**Amelia holds up a sign that says "Movies are un-just! There are villans that get away with their crimes and ...." The writing gets smaller as she runs out of room, and she flips the sign over, and in tiny writing is the rest of her justice speech**
Mina: ...That'll work. Couple four?
Garv: "Xellos does Sairaag."
Mina: Xellos does Sairaag?!
Xellos: *nods* ^.^
Valgarv:*Holds up a sign that says "Xellos does Sairaag"*
Xellos: You saw that? ^.^;
Garv: *nods* Oscar material, Xel-kun ^.^
Mina: ..Yuck. Ok, time for the bonus round! Phibby, what are the scores?
Phibrizzo: Um, couple one has five points, couple two has one, couple three has two, and couple four has three.
Mina: So, this means that the bonus round can help put some of the other couples in the lead! Five points for each question!
**Mina waits and then pokes Naga, who's flirting with a red-haired cameraman. She grumbles and holds up the "OOOH..." sign. The audience "OOOH's."**
Mina: Thanks. Our bonus question is this.. What does your husband do when he's angry?
Zelgadiss: He destroys cities and kills people.
Filia: Kills -dragons-.
Rezo: Ah, who hasn't killed a couple dragons?
**Filia reaches over and hits Rezo with mace-sama**
Rezo: Ow! Who was that?
Filia: It was Namagomi.
Xellos: Was not. <.<
**Rezo leans over and clocks Filia with his staff, grumbling and rubbing his head**
Mina: Do I have to flick a fricking light switch on and off? Geez.. Xellos, what's your answer?
Xellos: *holds up a sign that says "I like to destroy cities and kill off entire races of dragons."*
Zelgadiss: Why am I not surprised u.u
Mina: That brings couple one up to 10 points!
Zelgadiss: Yay u.u v
Mina: Couple number two?
Gourry: She hits me.
Lina: *holds up a sign that says "I pound Gourry into the ground" *
Gourry: See?
Mina: Couple number two, you're up to six! How bout you, Amelia?
Amelia: Um.. I don't think Miss Syphiel -gets- angry that often..
Syphiel: *holds up a sign that says "I use the dragon slave on defenseless cities." She blinks* I didn't write that..
Xellos: *whistles innocently*
Mina: Couple four?
Valgarv: He tries to kill Lina Inverse ^.^
Lina: WHAT!?
Garv: *holds up a sign that says "Black leather and chains on Val-chan"*
Valgarv: O.o Whoops.
Mina: That means that Couple three is in last, Couple four is in third, Couple two is in second, and Couple one is first! Congratulations!
**Martina comes out holding tickets to Seyruun and part of the Clair Bible**
Zelgadiss: *rips the dress off* Give me that!
Xellos: *takes the Clair bible and flips through it* Nope, this isn't what you're looking for Zel-kun ^.^ *makes it disappear. Zelgadiss cries until Mina runs over and whispers something to him and they run off*
Phibrizzo: Well, that's it for this episode of the Slayers Newlywed game, tune in next week when we have four new couples and all new questions! And hopefully, Mina won't run off with one of the contestants, and--
**Muffled screaming as an unidentified girl grabs Valgarv and runs off with him. Garv chases her off stage**
Phibrizzo: Oh, forget it.. Just roll the credits..