Amelia:And there's this big treasure..in the woods..near Burkitsville, Maryland! (She nods excitedly) At least...that's what hat girl told me.. (points to a young woman in a shrine maiden's robes)
Lina:Treasure?! Let's go!!
Zelgadis: How can we be sure this isn't Xellos trying to trick us again?
Gourry:I have an idea.. (He walks up to the girl and squeezes her breasts)Yep, she's a girl.
Girl: PERVERT!! (She screams and slaps him across the face. The others sweatdrop.)
Gourry: (happily) Have a nice day! (He walks back to the others, a red, hand-shaped mark on his cheek)
Zelgadis: Well..based on Gourry's...ingenious idea... I guess it's off to...(sigh)I feel stupid even saying it..
Lina: Burkitsville, Maryland! Here we come!! Levitation! (She grabs Gourry by the hair an carries him off the ground.)
Gourry: AAAHH!!!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWIIEE!!
(Zelgadis and Amelia follow. The "shrine maiden" waits until they leave.)
Martina:(taking off the costume) Hah!! It worked! I, Martina, will get revenge on Lina Inverse in the name of the monster Zoamelgustaar... (laughs manically, then pauses) And..revenge on Gourry for grabbing my wonderful chest!! (She blushes, still cackling like an idiot.)
Lina:Well this is just great. Except for those three kids with the camera, we haven't seen anyone!!
Zelgadis: Hey... (points to a giant neon sign that says "Treasure..this way!" --> --> -->) That's a little obvious, don't you think?
Gourry: Yeah, fanfic writers are getting less and less creative lately.
(A giant purple squiggly pen appears out of nowhere and doodles on Gourry's face, and disappears. He nods.)
Gourry: Yep, that was new. (nods)
Lina: Well, we better camp here for the night. Me and Amelia will get the tent.
Zelgadis:(Looking around) Uh...what about us?
(Lina points to the trees, shrugs and walks into the tent. Gourry falls asleep instantly, but Zelgadis stays half-awake, just in case. Suddenly, someone grabs him from behind and covers his mouth with their hand. Before he can do anything, his attacker casts a sleep spell and walks away, carrying him.)
Gourry: Hey..um..Lina?
Lina:Yeah?
Gourry: Did...Zelgadis go in the tent with you guys?
Lina:Of course not!
Gourry:Then...where'd he go?
(The girls come out of the tent and look around)
Amelia:Hey, he's not here! Mister Zelgadis!! Where are you?
Lina: Hey!! Zel?? Where'd you go?
(They look around for Zelgadis. Out of nowhere, Lina trips over a pile of blue rocks. She blinks at them. Purple wire is shaped in the Blair Witch symbol in a nearby tree. Amelia screams)
Amelia:I think something happened to Mister Zelgadis! And in the name of justice, I vow to--
Lina: He probably just ran off again. (shrugs, dropping the rocks)
Gourry:(nods)Come on Amelia.
(The group walks through the forest until nightfall. Gourry again sleeps outside while Lina and Amelia get the tent. Suddenly, the tent starts shaking while a voice whispers "That is a secret...Sore wa, himitsu desu...". Gourry runs into the tent)
Gourry: What are you two doing!? Can I join?
(The girls blink at Gourry, wearing their pajamas. They scream "PERVERT!" and kick him out. In the morning, they see "Sore wa himitsu desu" written on the ground)
Gourry:Hey Lina..don't we know someone who says that?
Lina: I don't think so..besides.. (shrugs) I don't speak Japanese.
Amelia:Miss Lina..I don't like this place...we should go back...
Lina:And miss out on the treasure? No way! Let's keep going!!
(Again, Lina grabs Gourry's hair and drags him away)
Gourry:AAAGH!! STOP IT!!
(Amelia sighs, sweatdrops and follows them. At night, the group sits around a campfire, eating.)
Gourry:Come on Lina.. Let me use the tent tonight!
Lina: But I'm a delicate young lady..
Gourry: (blinks) You?! Delicate?! (starts laughing, but stops when Lina baps him)
Gourry: Hey..that hurt..
Lina:Wasn't supposed to tickle, Gourry.
Gourry:Please?
Lina/Amelia:NO! (They leave Gourry grumbling outside. When they wake up, he's gone.)
Amelia: Oh no! First Mister Zelgadis..Now Mister Gourry is gone too!...And I think something happened to Mister Xellos too!! (Long pause..crickets chirp, a tumbleweed rolls by.)
(Both girls shrug. Lina notices a wrapped bundle. She opens it and sees a lock of blonde hair)
Lina:This is Gourry's...someone cut Gourry's hair..
Amelia: He can't be too happy...
(The girls keep walking until they reach a large house.)
Lina: Well..this must be it..
Amelia: This house is really scary, Miss Lina..
Lina: We'll be fine! C'mon!! (Lina runs into the house, followed closely by Amelia. They hear a scream of terror.)
Lina: That sounded like...
Amellia:Mister Gourry!!
(They come to a room with a closed door. Lina fireballs it and runs in. They both gasp)
Amelia: Oh...my...
(A fanfic writer sits at a computer with a ponytail and glasses, typing away, surrounded by chibis. Included are chibis of Zelgadis, Gourry, Xellos, Valgarv, Carrot Glace, Kujakuu,Yukito, Yue, Tuxedo Mask, Vash, and Spark. Zelgadis sits on the girl's lap, Xellos on her shoulder, and a normal sized Marron Glace stands near her. The chibi Parn and the chibi Gourry have a sword fight at her feet. The girl grins at Lina and amelia.)
Mara: Have fun!!! (She cackles and hits the enter button. Lina and Amelia disappear and find themselves in the middle of nowhere.)
Lina: (sigh) C'mon Amelia..
Amelia: Was it just me, or was that really...
Lina: It wasn't just you..
Both: (go all sd {super deformed}) They were all so cuuuuuuteee!!!