| Chapter 4 the truth hurts After Gokuu left, I went to see Goten. He greeted me with a smile, something I felt I didn't deserve. I sat back down in the chair beside the bed and just sat, silent, waiting for him to speak. He stared at me for a long time before doing so. "I' going to go live with my otossan. You know its funny. for the first eight years of my life, he was dead. Then when he was alive, he was always gone. But he'd come home for meals. Then, after they got divorced, I never saw him. It was like he disappeared. Now, I am going to live with him." "That is a little strange," I admitted. Goten shook his head. "No, that's not what's strange. That's just my otossan. What makes no sense is I'm glad. I'd rather live with him than with 'Kassan, who has been there every day of my life." I remained silent as he laughed bitterly. "She doesn't care about me. I think I remind her too much of him." "Of who?" "My otossan, baka!" I suppressed a growl and simply muttered, "Why didn't you tell me?" "What?" "That they were divorced. I would have helped you, Goten. I still will." Goten just frowned and looked away, so I continued talking. "Goten, we are family. We have to be able to turn to each other for help. You are my brother, Goten. You should have come to me!" "I know." We sat in silence for a few moments. I felt myself denying the whole situation again. My best friend was gay. His parents were divorced. He was being beaten up at school. He was neglected and depressed and because of that had started butting himself. This was all just some bad dream! It had to be! I stood up quickly and began to leave the room. "Toranks." I paused but didn't turn back towards him. "You can stay here with us, Goten. You and Gokuu. I'm sure 'Tossan and 'Kassan wouldn't mind." Then I escaped. Later that night I pondered my actions. Why had I fled that room? Why was I uncomfortable to be around Goten alone? It couldn't be the fact that he was gay. I wasn't a bigot and he was my best friend. I twisted over in bed, lying on my stomach. I buried my head under my pillow as if it would block out my thoughts and let me get to sleep. It didn't work. Sighing, I got up and stumbled towards the kitchen, thinking some food might help me sleep. I was saiyajin after all. The light of the kitchen was already on and I knew of only one person it could be. My 'Tossan was sitting at the table, eating his usual midnight snack. It had been so long since the two of us had shared a late night meal. I walked past him and made myself a sandwich. Then, albeit reluctantly, I sat down opposite him. "What are you doing up, boy?" Between bites, I answered, "I couldn't sleep." "Well, obviously, I heard you tossing and turning all night. It's hard to believe you haven't waken the whole house yet." I sighed and continued to eat. "Would it be all right if Goten and Gokuu moved in here? I mean, we have more than enough space." "You want me and Kakarotto to live under the same roof?" Of course he wouldn't want that. I sighed, thinking I could always convince my okassan and over rule him. Then my otossan surprised me. "You're really worried about him aren't you." I nodded and he sighed, folding his arms across his chest. "So is Kakarotto. You should have seen him so angry. He yelled at that little vixen at such a volume, I'm sure everyone heard. He made the bitch cry and wasn't even sorry. She really pissed him off." "He yelled at Chichi?" My 'Tossan chuckled. "Yes, suprisingly enough." My otossan sat in silence for a moment with a smirk on his face. "Hn. Yes they can stay here." I grinned, for some reason incredibly happy about that decision. It had been so long since Goten and I had slept under the same roof. I had missed that. Quickly finishing my snack, I left the kitchen, but not before 'Tossan said, "He will be fine, boy. He's Kakarotto's son. He will pull through this." "I know." Then I went back to my room and instantly fell asleep. The next morning I woke to a heavy weight in my chest. Opening one of my eyes, I caught a glimpse of blue hair. There was a tiny, girly giggle and the weight left my chest and landed on my bed, making it shake. "Hello, Bura." She giggled again. "Truchan, 'Kassan says come down for breakfast and you gotta go to school." I groaned. Okasan wanted me to go to school? Now? I had planned to spend the day with Goten, making sure he didn't hurt himself again. Groaning again, I climbed out of bed and began to get dressed while Bura scampered off, knowing I was about to get in a screaming fight with my 'kassan. I took the long way to the kitchen, deciding to drop in on Goten before I went to eat. But, to my great surprise, he wasn't there. In a panic, I reached out for his ki... and found it in the kitchen. Shaking my head and grinning sheepishly at my momentary panic, though no one could see it, I went into the kitchen. There my family was eating with Goten. He had his head down, nose almost buried in his cereal while he inhaled it. That's my Goten. "Hey Chibi. How are you feeling?" Goten raised his head and I wasn't surprised to see dark circles under his eyes. "Better, Toranks. Thanks." "For what?" "For helping me yesterday. Thanks." "Don't mention it, Chibi. That's what friends are for." He smiled and returned his attention to his food. I glanced at my otossan to see him smirking. Rolling my eyes, I walked towards my okassan who was preparing more food in the microwave. She didn't turn towards me as I approached, but I could see her tense. "Okassan-" "You are going to school, Toranks. That is not up for discussion." I growled. "'Kassan, someone needs to stay with Goten!" "I will be here all day, Toranks. It is not necessary for this to affect your studying. You need to go to school." "But 'Kassan-" "Mrs. Briefs, I really would like it if Toranks stayed with me." My okassan and I turned towards Goten as an amused snort came from my otossan. My best friend's eyes were almost pleading with my okassan's. She sighed. "Fine. But only for today. And only because I like you so much, Goten. Now go and do something before I change my mind." "If you two want something to do, Kakarotto and I will be training today." We turned towards my otossan and I smiled. Goten didn't, however. "You want to, Goten? We could just go watch if you don't feel up to it." He shook his head, smiling faintly. "I'm fine. I had a sensu this morning before you got up. I'm as good as new." Now that's not true. But fine, Chibi. I'll go along with it. I turned back to my otossan to see him looking at me as if he knew something I didn't. Shaking off the suspicion, I began walking out of the room. "Come on Tossan. Gokuu's probably already waiting." "Kakarotto can wait a few minutes, boy. It will be good for him. He's too impatient as it is." Goten and I jumped in the air and began flying towards our otossan's usual sparring grounds. But before we were out of earshot I heard my okassan speaking harshly at my otossan and paused to listen not caring if Goten stopped beside me, though I knew he had. "You make sure you only spar, Vejita." "What Kakarotto and I do on our own time is no concern of yours, woman. Not anymore." "Vejita, I don't want something leaking out about the two of you." "That's right. You have a pristine reputation to uphold. Never mind the fact that you-" "Quiet! Bura's still here." "You will not be able to keep this from them forever, baka onna. Kakarotto's brats already know. It will only be a matter of time before Toranks does too. Or did you fail to notice the way Goten looks at him." "GET OUT OF HERE!" My otossan tore out of the kitchen, caught up to us quickly, over took us, and blasted off into the horizon. I glanced at Goten, trying to read his blank face. "What did he mean, Goten? What's going on?" He just shook his head. "It's not my place to tell you. Let your parents tell you." "They didn't even tell me that your parents were divorced! Now what's going on that I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?" Goten laughed bitterly. "Your clueless, Toranks. You may be a genius, but you can't see what's right in front of you. You didn't realize I was gay and you didn't realize my parents were divorced. Those things should have been obvious to you Toranks. But if you couldn't recognize that, I guess you could never guess that your own parents weren't together anymore or that your otossan was seeing my otossan." My mind froze, completely. I don't think I even breathed or blinked my eyes. My otossan and... Gokuu? My parents weren't together? Suddenly so many things made sense - the increase in the sparring sessions that my otossan had with Gokuu; the fury I saw in my okassan when Tossan returned from those sessions; the screaming fights that were worse than normal and more real; the distance I had seen developing between them. It all suddenly made sense. "Why didn't they tell me?" "They didn't want to hurt you. And your okassan didn't want anyone to know." "She didn't trust me? She thought I would go around telling people that my parents broke up because my otossan was gay?" Goten winced at that last sentence, but I didn't care. I was too angry, again. "Are you ashamed of your otossan?" "Of course I am! He broke up a marriage to have a relationship with another man! Aren't you ashamed of your own otossan?" He growled. "No. I know how he feels. But, unlike him, I know that my feelings will never be returned." "Chibi what the hell are you talking about?" "You wouldn't understand, Toranks. You're just like them - just another homophobe. I can't believe I ever thought that you could..." There were tears in my friend's eyes as he flew off. I took off after him and grabbed his ankle, yanking him back beside me. "What the hell was that supposed to mean?" He spun towards me, furious. "You are so stupid sometimes, you know that? I don't know why I love you so damn much. You're just a big stupid bakayero!" I growled, low in my throat. "What?" His voice took on a mocking intonation. "What do you mean, what? Which part of that didn't you understand? The part where I said you were an asshole or the part where I told you I love you." "Fuck!" I balled my hands up and strained to keep my fists from pummeling into him. "How could you love me? I'm your fucking best friend. I'm not even gay, you pervert!" "So now I'm a pervert? Great, Toranks. You're just as stupid, ignorant, and intolerant as the rest of them. I can't change what I am or what I feel. And I know you feel the same way." That broke something inside of me. I screamed in rage and struck out, hitting him across his face. "I am not gay! I am not a fucking sick perverted freak!" He laughed bitterly and turned back towards me, blood dripping from his nose. "So now the truth comes out." "Don't laugh at me Goten!" I screamed, hitting him again. He growled and hit me back. "Don't fucking hit me, you son of a bitch. Just because your too stupid to admit or even recognize what you are feeling doesn't mean that you can take it out on me." I screamed and dove at him, knocking us to the ground. We hit hard, bouncing into the air and then back down again. "Fuck you! Fuck you, Goten! You're lying. I don't feel that way! I can't!" He growled and flipped us over so that he was straddling my stomach. "Of course you do. You know it and I know it." I screamed again, fighting the feeling that was now surging through me, the feeling I had successfully kept down for the past few months. Goten and I hadn't grown apart because of differences between us. We had grown apart because I was scared of what I was feeling. And I was still scared. "NO, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO!" "Toranks stop fighting me and let's talk." "NO, NO, NO!" I shouted, still thrashing and trying to get free. I blasted into super saiyajin, but he matched the transformation and successfully held me down. "LET ME GO GOTEN!" "If I let you go, will you promise not to attack me again?" I nodded, but knew I wasn't going to keep the promise. As soon as he let go of me I was going to give him the beating of a life time. The fool dropped his power level back to normal and stood up. I screamed in fury and dove at him, pummeling him with my fists, turning his face into a bloody mess. I felt bones break, heard his screams, heard the sounds my fists made on his flesh, but none of this moved me to stop. Only another body slamming into mine did that. I flew through four trees before the fifth one finally stopped my motion. When I could stand up, I did, only to face an enraged, super saiyajin Gokuu. He snarled at me, keeping himself between Goten and me. I snarled right back and flung myself at him, knowing that I could not win, but not willing to admit defeat either. He simply batted me away, sending me through a couple more trees. I stood again, preparing to launch myself towards Goten and his otossan again when I was restrained by my own otossan. "Let me go 'Tossan! Let me get him!" "Boy stop it, now! What the hell are you doing?" Gokuu snarled, but I didn't flinch. "Your brat beat the hell out of my son, Vejita. What the hell happened?" I began struggling against my otossan again. "He told me the truth. He told me about the two of you. And then he told me that he felt that way about me!" Gokuu's face twisted in surprise. "And you beat him because of that?" I snarled. "Of course. What he feels is wrong! You are all wrong! AND I DO NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY!" My otossan let go of me and I stumbled forward, dropping my power back to normal as I fell to my knees. "I don't love him. I don't." I heard my otossan move up behind me, felt pain blossom at the base of my skull, and then everything went black. |