04.16.00  2:32am
  I feel so down..I wish for a change in my life. Last night  I sat in my
room and cried hysterically.. it's been so long since I've cried like that but it
made me feel better. I talked to Ella about whats been bothering me she helps
me alot she's like my online therapist hehe  she said "you can't change the way
people act you just can't in the long run it's their call." and now I realize that's what
I've been doing for the past 3 years and they don't change.. it's time for me to
live my life and stop trying to change them. So now I'm thinking what to do...
my sister is coming soon she's like my only hope right now. They are all so excited
about coming over here to pick me up I guess that makes me happy at least they
havn't forgot about me. I'm trying to think positive and not be so negative all the
time.. it's hard though..