Help Me

I hear your loud screaming
As I scramble down under my duvet.
Your angry, hateful obscenities are getting louder.
I try to cover my ears.

Your footsteps stop outside my door.
Suddenly, the door opens up.
I shake in terror in the dark
As you shove me violently on the floor.

You start to yell at me,
Verbally abuse me.
Learning a long time ago not to talk back
I only listen, intimidated and terrified.

A sudden blow on my cheek interrupts my silent prayers
Another blow on my back
My tiny legs, my head, my neck.
Stop bashing me up!

I cry out, hurt and traumatized
In agony I howl.
The only thing I get in return is
Another strike for being too loud.

Help me, Mama.
Don't lie about my injuries.
Help me, Mama.
Take me away from this nightmare I'm in.

Mama is nowhere in sight
While her little girl is being slammed
Against the wall.
Where are you? Why aren't you helping me?

All I can hear is the sound of my own bone breaking.
I can taste blood in my mouth.
Daddy yanks me by my hair,
Draggin me down the stairs.

Help me, Mama,
Help me.

Under the light I can see my scars
My legs twisted
My black-and-blue arms
My ears ringing.

I look around whimpering
As Daddy cries out, "Shut up,
You bad girl! Neighbors will hear!"
I cut short, scared to death.

As I lie here on the cold floor
Who is to rescue me?
No more Mama's comforting hugs.
Oh, Mama, has he killed you already?

The thought of living without you terrifies me.
I start to cry loudly.
Knowing I have got to stop
I bite my lips.

Too late,
Daddy comes back.
He is hurting me again,
He twists my little arm behind my back.

Mama.
Help me!

I slowly drift away
Everything seems so blurry and distant.
Maybe I am dying,
Maybe that will be better.

I wake up the next morning,
The sun shining on my face.
Doctor's face clouds with concern.
I nod as he asks if I'm okay.

But I'm not okay,
Daddy's there!
Instead of the angry face I saw last night,
He puts on a mask of happiness.

"I'm so glad you're awake!
Let's celebrate!"
The doctor pats me on the head
Walking away.

I try to call him, to ask him to come back
Desperately I try to say,
"Don't leave me alone with him."
But my lips are too sore and I cannot speak.

A short while later I am better...
Healthy enough to go home.
I plead the nurse with my begging eyes,
I am too scared to tell them what's going on.

I have no choice but to follow Daddy,
As he grabs my had tightly, leading my away.
No, I want to stay!
Leave me alone!

I turn back, but nobody notices me,
My hurt and battered tiny body.
Returning back to where I was harmed
Back I go.

Help me, Mama.

--Hawon Lee

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Nightmares

A new dawn emerges
with its layers and layers
of pinks and yellows.

As the sun swallows up my
bedroom with satin rays of sunlight
I wake...
sweaty and screaming
foolish and alone.
And so I continue on...
living each day
feeling his sweat...
and hearing his heavy breath
in the back of my mind
every time silence creeps up on me.

Later I watch the sun, so naive
crawl under the horizon...
and I get restless as dusk approaches
for I know that when my head hits
that pillow...
the fight begins...
and he always wins
in the end.

Carrying my innocence off
holding if up to the moonlight
kicking and screaming until
...finally...
he leaves it and walks away
while it is raw and naked
shaking on the cold ground.

...until a new dawn emerges
with its layers and layers
of pinks and yellows...
Good morning.

--Kara MacDonald

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