Though the world knows Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean as the tattooed, flirtatious bad boy of the hit-making heartthrobs, his mother tells ABCNEWS' 20/20 that she knows him as "gentle" and "insecure" Alex.
     As the Backstreet Boys achieved immense fame, Denise McLean says, Alex retreated into the A.J. persona, in part to escape his insecurities and emotional distress.
     "He just ... got smothered by A.J.," she says. "He just got lost in the hype ... the drinking ... the lifestyle, the fame. It just ... pushed Alex out."
     Join Backstreet mom Denise McLean in a live chat today at 1:30 p.m. ET. Sign in below, post a question, and check back to this page on Monday for the chat!

Moderator at 1:13pm ET
Welcome to the chat everyone! Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean's mom, Denise, will join us in just a few minutes. If you would like to send in a question, post it now in the space below and click on "Post Message." When the chat begins, you'll need to click on "Show New Messages" to update your page and view new posts. Thanks, and stay tuned!

Moderator at 1:29pm ET
Welcome Denise McLean! Thanks for joining us.

Denise McLean at 1:30pm ET
Hi to everyone. Thank you for joining me today. Look forward to chatting with you.

Moderator at 1:30pm ET
Let's begin...

Moderator at 1:31pm ET
Sara Boyer asks: "What made A.J. decide that it was time for him to get help?"

Denise McLean at 1:32pm ET
I believe he realized that he could not cope with the lifestyle and control it on his own anymore. There was also an incident that occurred the morning before he called me that day, where he had some words with Kevin because he did not show up for some event they had schedule, and Kevin and he got into an argument, and I think that kind of brought to his attention the fact that he was letting everyone down.

Sheena O'Connor from sympatico.ca at 1:33pm ET
During AJ's time in rehab, has he rediscovered some of the Alex in him?

Denise McLean at 1:34pm ET
Definitely, he has rediscovered Alex and hopefully now the personalities will be in the right order, so to speak, meaning that Alex will be the primary personality and A.J. will be the secondary personality or stage persona only. That is a goal of his.

Samantha Davis from proxy.aol.com at 1:34pm ET
Do you really believe that the rehab has helped AJ/Alex and that he now knows how to deal with such fame?

Denise McLean at 1:35pm ET
The rehab has given him more coping mechanisms and tools that he needs to implement into his everyday living, so that he can learn to cope with his life and his work and the lifestyle that goes with it.

[email protected] from proxy.aol.com at 1:35pm ET
Considering Alex has been in rehab for only 1 month, do you think it is in his best interest to return to BSB and their tour so soon? Don't you think he could easily slip back into his old lifestyle?

Denise McLean at 1:36pm ET
No, I think that he realizes that he’s got to –it’s like the proverbial getting onto the horse once you’ve fallen off—he knew he was going to have to get back into it eventually. Circumstances are such that he needs to rejoin the group and finish out his obligation, and at that point, once the obligation has been fulfilled if he chooses to take some time for himself, he will.

Moderator at 1:36pm ET
Leslie Andino asks: "Denise, how is AJ coping with the death of his grandmother, and how has his break up with Amanda affected his emotional struggle?"

Denise McLean at 1:38pm ET
His breakup really was a brief thing, as he moved on from that pretty quickly actually and didn’t date for a while. He wanted to step back from it, and I think he got over it pretty quickly. As far as coping with the death of his grandmother, part of what he did in rehab was to actually attend grieving sessions to work through that, and that helped him immensely.

Moderator at 1:38pm ET
Lori asks: "Did you find it hard to raise your son by yourself as a single parent."

Denise McLean at 1:39pm ET
Yes (laughs). That is difficult…it’s difficult for any single parent to raise a child on their own, whether it be father or mother. And I believe that the love that we have for each other helped us both grow up.

Moderator at 1:39pm ET
June asks: "Why are you going public?"

Denise McLean at 1:40pm ET
Two reasons: one is to give back and thank the public for the immense positive response that he got for having the courage to do what he did and seek help; and secondly, to hopefully reach parents, children, adults suffering from the same type of disease and help them to realize they’re not alone and there is support out there for them.

Moderator at 1:41pm ET
momsafan2 writes: "Denise, the members of the Online Fanclub are so very proud of your son. His admission of being human only served to help so many others even some in the chat room itself. As a mother myself I am so proud of what you have done to support Alex as well as for them all being honest with their fans. They all have our undying support. What advice can you give to young ones who may wonder if they are depressed?"

Denise McLean at 1:42pm ET
Definitely to talk to someone, maybe start with a counselor in school, definitely your parents, a teacher if you’re comfortable, have a good relationship with one of the teachers, to start there, maybe, and just talk to someone and hopefully that will grow, and if there is a problem, someone can lead them in the right direction to a professional.

BaCkStReEt FrEaK... Lesley Smi at 1:42pm ET
Were you surpised about the outpour of emotion by the fans around the wrold?

Denise McLean at 1:44pm ET
Initially, yes. One of the first questions that my son asked me once he was in rehab was how the public reacted. He was worried. And when I told him how positive the response was, he was very relieved. And then I also brought some of the letters with me when I first visited him to show him some of the impact. And I think he still even until today is very, very appreciative and amazed at the response. And he told me that he didn’t realize what an mpact he would have, and he’s grateful that he can have that impact.

Moderator at 1:44pm ET
Claudia Sanchez asks: "What made you see that Alex had disappeared and was overtaken by the A.J. persona?"

Denise McLean at 1:46pm ET
He began hiding from his family, sleeping most of the day, not coming back to Orlando as frequently, and really avoiding people, and that’s very unlike him. That was the biggest red flag to us, his family. Also the type of people that he was hanging around with brought up some red flags, because of their pushing him to go out at all hours and party all the time.

Moderator at 1:46pm ET
Bre Kidman wonders: "Do you think your son will ever go back, fully, to being the same Alex he used to be before Backstreet? What kind of a change would that be?"

Denise McLean at 1:47pm ET
No, I don’t think he’ll go back, because he has to grow up. I think he will become, as opposed to the young boy Alex that I loved, he’ll become the young man Alex that I love, as everyone has to do.

Moderator at 1:47pm ET
Leigh Terry asks: "Will A.J. use his experiences with alcohol and depression to help other people in the same situation?"

Denise McLean at 1:48pm ET
That’s to be determined. We’re not sure about that yet. He has to reach his own personal comfort level with talking about this, and when that happens my personal opinion is that he may want to reach out and share what he’s learned, but I can’t promise that he will feel that way. He may very well decide to keep it private and just deal with it in a private way.

Julia Dillard at 1:48pm ET
Do you believe the Alex will give a whole new show and appearance to his fans now that he's taken charge of his life?

Denise McLean at 1:49pm ET
Well, that remains to be seen, but I believe that a healthy A.J. as a stage person will be, I think, refreshing to the audience, and I think they’ll see a boost in his energy and just a better voice, and I think he’ll just emanate more happiness on stage now.

Stacy at 1:50pm ET
Hey Denise! I'm so glad to hear that AJ's gettin better. That's wonderful news. My question is..what are AJ's plans for the future?

Denise McLean at 1:51pm ET
Right now he wants to finish the tour and continue with his ongoing recovery, and at this point we really haven’t discussed his future because one of his new focuses is to deal with life a day at a time.

Moderator at 1:51pm ET
Barbara H writes: "I am a physician and a recovering addict and alcoholic, and know personally and professionally that regular attendance at 12-step meetings is vital to maintaining sobriety. How does AJ plan to fit meetings into his touring schedule, and does he have an AA sponsor?"

Denise McLean at 1:52pm ET
Yes, he does have a sponsor. That was one of the first things he did was to start going to meetings and he was fortunate enough to find a sponsor pretty quickly. He plans on starting right away to look over his schedule and adjust his touring schedule separately if necessary from the other boys so that he can be available to attend meetings everyday.

Moderator at 1:53pm ET
Nancy Rush wonders: "Can you tell me, as a parent, is there anything you would have liked to have done differently in raising your son, or any way you feel you could have taken a more active role in his career?"

Denise McLean at 1:54pm ET
I think I was as active a participant as any human being could have been, and as far as doing anything differently, no. I feel that when he was young he made decisions with my help, but they were his decisions, and as he grew up he received guidance –some good, some bad—from the people around him. But the choices he made were primarily his own, and I was always there to support him and help him.

Moderator at 1:54pm ET
Katy writes: "How have you dealt with all of Alex's fame?"

Denise McLean at 1:56pm ET
It’s both a good and a bad thing. It’s always good for a parent to see their children succeed at what they want to do with their lives. In that respect, I could not be prouder of him. But there have also been a lot of sacrifices on my part, as well. I don’t really have regrets. We had a lot of fun. We were together almost all the time sharing in his career, and I think that…I don’t think there’s anything I would really change. I think that fame is just a double-edged sword that you deal with or not. I think I did have an advantage in being with him so much, and I think a lot of parents probably would envy the amount of time that I was able to spend with him going around the world.

Rachel A at 1:57pm ET
How do you think Alex wants the fans to view him in light of this time in his life? As Alex or as A.J.? As a huge fan myself, I would like to do what is best for him!

Denise McLean at 1:57pm ET
I think he just wants people to realize that he is a human being with laws just like everyone else. He has a talent that he uses to make people happy, and he’s just, you know, basically at heart a regular guy who enjoys his job.

Moderator at 1:59pm ET
Denise, thank you for your time! Do you have any final thoughts for our audience?

Denise McLean at 2:00pm ET
I would definitely want to thank Connie Chung and everybody at 20/20 for allowing me to share with them my experiences and hopefully reach out to everyone to let them know how much we appreciate the support and also what we’ve gone through in these past weeks, and I definitely on behalf of my son and myself want to thank the fans and other artists who have contacted me and sent him cards and letters and just the loving support’s been amazing and overwhelming, and I think that he’s going to feel it 100 times fold when he gets up on that stage for the first show, and that’s going to be one of those once-in-a-lifetime experiences, I think; and I hope to be there to see it!

Moderator at 2:01pm ET
Thanks to all those who participated in the chat!