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| Who suffers more ? MOM or CHILD? The scenario.........You're all ready for work, dressed, make-up, hair, lookin' great!! Your in the front door of your childcare provider's home and little Johnny has a grasp of your leg screaming and crying for you to not go. By now your fighting back the tears....heck even the provider is getting all misty eyed!! LOL Manipulation at its best!! If he cannot get you to stay home, he'll send you off feeling as guilty as possible. This too is normal behavior and NOT I repeat NOT because of anything you have done or have not done. You must trust your childcare provider!! I know its tough with someone you just met, but you must go with your gut instinct that we moms were born with. If it doesn't feel right.....then maybe that's not the right person for you and more importantly for your child. She needs to be patient, loving, and very supportive of this time for you and your child. If possible slowly ease him in over a period of a week with short visits. The first only for a 15 min. increment with you there. The second , you leave and tell him you will be back later. Make it a short visit for him and come back in 1/2 hr. and so on, eventually leaving him for a full day. Talk positively about your childcare provider, her home. and especially how much fun he will have . Older toddlers may not jump right in the fun especially if mom is lingering at the door looking all sad. (I know its heartbreaking to leave your child, but it's very important for your child to know you feel positive about where they will be spending their days.) Make going to your provider's a happy routine by smiling and telling them that you will miss him but will be back at a certain time and then make sure you are there on time. I find through my experience that playing little games like peek - a - boo through the window or saying "see ya later alligator, in a while crocodile" helps the transition. If your child is really young, it is very important that your childcare provider hold the baby with reassuring words as mom leaves. While it is common for young children to need the reassurance daily, constant crying long after mom is gone could be a sign that you need a different provider. She may be a perfectly good caregiver, but just not a right fit with your child. It does happen! To sum it all up: 1. empathize with your child. 2. let him take a security object from home. 3. be positive about your childcare provider and her home 4. don't come back once the door is closed ( you may never leave (lol) & it makes it even harder for your child) 5. most importantly, be on time to pick up your child!!! It will get easier as you & your child become familiar with your provider and the routine. |
| SEPERATION ANXIETY |
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