Enjoy, Alex
Would you like to drink with God?
Sure� drinking�s fun because suddenly everyone thinks they�re the master of the universe. Of course, with God you wouldn�t have to deal with all the bullshit in a bottle. Sometimes I hear some people say some wild shit when we�re just sitting around getting rat assed. I would expect him to pick up the tab� when you�re the largest landowner in Europe, I expect a few things.
Drink with the Devil?
Sure. While God�s blowing sunshine out his ass, it�d be nice to hear it the Devil�s side of things. It�d be even better if the Devil was really like he�s described in the Rolling Stones song �Sympathy for the Devil.� �A man of wealth and taste��
Best place to drink?
I fell in love with the British Virgin Islands, where we did spectacular amounts of drinking. That place has the best beach bars in the world, bar none.
Drunkest ever?
Oh boy� There are a half dozen that come to mind. My personal favorite was this: It was a Thursday night, I was bored� Bro said there was some random birthday party going on in some random Freshman�s room, so we headed over. (As upperclassmen we had something of a mandate to show up and drink their alcohol, thus preventing them from becoming too inebriated and hooking up with someone ugly.) He knew these people and I didn�t. Upon arrival he mingled right in, while I stood around and waited for people to stop just staring at me. Rather than feel like an idiot in this room full of freshman looking at me like I was some kind of freak I did what any rational upperclassmen would do and poured myself a cup of tequila. That started to do the trick, so I had a few more. On any normal drunken experience I�d say �to make a long story short��, but this was no ordinary drunken night. I can honestly stay that if there was a long story I just don�t remember enough to know� anyway, somehow I made it back to my room, where my bed was looking awfully high up and my roommate�s bed was looking like an awfully good target for vomit. Despite not being able to walk, I made one of the most lucid and reasonable decisions of my entire life. I found my way into the bathroom, the handicap stall. Upon locating the toilet I crawled into the stall, locked the door and fell asleep right there on the floor. I woke up a few hours later to find that my roommate had somehow managed to bring me a pillow and a blanket. I woke up around 5AM for a second time to the sound of the freshmen in my dorm taking a photo of my inebriated ass. I took this as a sign that I should probably start moving. Next thing I remember is holding myself up in the handicapped shower. I puked a few cashews and raisins before finally making my way to my own bed. My brain cussed my stomach for waiting till the morning before finally doing something about the whole affair. Both of them ended up blaming my penis for making me drink so much damn tequila.
Describe heaven:
Heaven is a woman I am in love with, an isolated beach in the Caribbean and a bottle of something expensive and smooth.
What�s the best?
Mates. Nothing like a good piss up with the boys. Getting drunk, silly and doing something that�s illegal or at least mildly improper. I don�t really worry when I�m drinking with the crew because I can outrun their drunken asses any day.
What�s your philosophy on drinking?
There�s a time and a place for everything. Some of us are able to drink and return to normal life, to have our drunken episodes that later become myths of lore. When you start having drinking experiences that you�re not willing to share with your buddies then you�ve got a problem. I�m not talking about the short term ones that you take a few weeks to admit to (like my second drunkest night ever when I got naked with Liz Hughes *shudder*), but when you do things that offend your personal ethic. Light nights of drinking can really enhance your life experience, but those heavy nights can be bastards. I feel that life should pause for epic drunkenness and then resume when the hangover wears off.
Where do you go from here?
Australia�New Zealand. Those people have a reputation to live up to in my mind. Triathlon World Championships, just because some guys can thrash me on the racecourse doesn�t mean I can�t give them hell when the going gets really tough. The girls weren�t so bad either. I had the good fortune of having a few pints with the New Zealand under 23 women�s Triathlon Team after the World Champs in 2001, those girls could hold their own with most male triathletes on the racecourse, at the bar and on the dance floor� I was in love.
