Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage
without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the
state trooper arrived.
"My goodness!" the trooper exclaimed "Your car looks like an
accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as
he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was
driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops
up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was
another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree!
I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to
the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a
tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener
swinging back and forth."
A:Only one has been discovered!
Q:Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
A:To see what was on the other side!
Q:How do you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A:The joystick is wet!
Q:Why did the blonde put makeup on her fore-head?
A:She wanted to show everyone she could make up her mind!
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight
from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun
game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely
declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The
lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of
fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know
the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa. "Again, she
declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated,
says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and
if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This
catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no
end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from
the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches
into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the
lawyer.
Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes
up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The
lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all
his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his
modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no
answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and
coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and
hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back
to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde
and asks, "Well, what's the answer? "Without a word, the blonde
reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
with her husband eating breakfast before he went to work. Out
of the blue the blonde says,"Honey today while your at work I
am goning to paint the house." The husband says "No, no dear
don't paint the house because then when I come home from work I
will just have to clean everything up, just please don't do
it." So the husband went to work and when he came home the
house smelled like paint. Then he went up to their bedroom, and
he saw his wife laying on the floor with 2 coats on and
sweating to death. He ran over to her and said, "Honey, honey
what's wrong why on earth are you sweating to death?" She got
up and grabed the paint cane, went over to her husband and
said, "Well look at the can dummy, it says for best results put
on 2 coats!"
She is driving down the road when she sees a blonde girl in the middle of a wheat field rowing a canoe. She pulls over , gets out of her truck , and says ,"ITS BLONDES LIKE YOU WHO GIVE BLONDES LIKE US BAD NAMES, IF I WADNT SCARED OF WATER I'D COME OUT THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS!