Make a paper chain for the number of days the deployment will last (or the closest approximation you have!). Take one link off at the end of each day; write the date and the day # on one side; on the other write what you all did that day. Mail them occasionally (weekly, bi-weekly, monthly) to your deployed spouse. It�s as good as a journal and your spouse will feel like s/he�s there with you � never missing a day in the growth, development and activity in your child(ren)�s life.
Make a �brag book� for each child AND for the deployed parent. Make the books available at all times � the kids need to see mommy/daddy as often as possible.
Talk about Mommy/Daddy every day. Reinforce that even though they are away, they are an integral part of the family. For example, during dinner preparations, you might say, �Daddy loves roast beef! Do you think he�d like to have some when he comes home? We should make a special meal for him. What else does daddy like that we could make him when he gets home?� or say �Daddy misses you so much and wishes he could be home.�
Make a video of your spouse playing with the kids, singing or reading books. Make the video as much in advance as possible � don�t try to do it the night before s/he leaves as they will be so emotional. Show the video as often as the kids like . . . this keeps Mom�s/Dad�s voice a constant in their lives.
Let the kids talk on the phone with the deployed parent if you can. Those weekly (if you�re lucky!) phone calls go too fast, but the kids need to hear Mommy/Daddy in real time too.
Let the kids write letters, send pictures they�ve drawn or colored to Mommy/Daddy. There may not be much room in Mommy/Daddy�s bunk, but you know those pictures will lift their hearts and spirits.
Keep in mind that seeing the videos or talking to Mommy/Daddy might upset your child. It shocked me when my ds screamed and wailed when we watched Daddy�s video during our first deployment. It depends on the stage of development, but it might be more traumatic to hear their voice or see their video. We switched to dh calling the house at midnight our time so the kids wouldn�t be upset.
When your kids cry for Mommy/Daddy, let them. Hug them and soothe them, let them talk. Reinforce that Mommy/Daddy loves them so much and misses them as much. Talk about maybe mommy/daddy is crying right then because they miss the child so much . . . it�s heartrending to hear it, but necessary to be supportive.
From Lady Bountiful