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September 18, 2005
Hey, I know I
haven't updated, not that anyone regularly checks this. Anyway, I retract my
previous statement of liking to be single. I like having a g/f better. Which is
good because I am back together with my previous g/f. And I still love her as
much as I did before. And so does she. I mean, she did break up with me, for
another guy, but then after like, two weeks, she wanted me back. And, I still
liked her, so, why not?
So, speaking of her, I went to her sisters b-day party because she begged and
begged for me to come over. Which I have to say made me feel good. It was so
much fun. We watched the Spice Girls movie, 'Spice World'. It is so funny. And
there are details that will be shared only with people I know. And then we
watched a part of Kung Pow, and then I had to leave. Which was the worst part of
the night. I would have gladly slept over, but no. Parents......pfttttt....who
need um? Anyway, yes. I am now waiting for her to get back from somewhere. I
wanna talk. She's nice to talk to. I like it. So, yeah, that's what's happened
for now.
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September 08, 2005
School has
started, and I guess I am liking being single again. At least, until I meet
someone. *hint, hint*....so, yeah....umm.....yeah. Enough of that.
I made a picture!! Do you like it?
YOU BETTER god damn it!! Here it is...
I call it...'Modern Art'. You like?
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September 03, 2005
I had a
great first two days of school. It was pretty cool. I LOVE WHITE DAYS!!!
White days are the easiest thing in the world for me. I have 1, count 'em
1, class that is hard and the other two are REALLY easy. Band and LTS. The
hard one is English, and my teacher seems kinda mean. And I have a free
block, which I have never had before, so that's REALLY cool. Anyway, I'm
going to be away for the weekend, and if you want to talk to me, e-mail me
at the above address. I will feel loved if I get an e-mail and I hope I
do.
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August 28, 2005
These two pictures are made
from the same 'blocks'. I thought it was pretty cool.
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August 27, 2005
I hate my LIFE. I have failed.
F. Big fat f**king F. I don't know what I did wrong. But I did it. And I did it
good. So, now I have failed, and I have to take LIFE over again. Time to
restart. Press the off button. Next year, I might do better. But for now, I have
to live with the thought that I have failed at LIFE. I can't compete with these
other people. They are just to good at LIFE and I am not.
If
anyone has figured out the second meaning of this ('cause there is one), good,
you're better at LIFE than I am.
(made it myself)
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August 25, 2005
What BeanidJess has to say
about my quote:
BeanidJess: ^_^
Auto response from Milhouse5666: Life is like a roller coaster. You can ride it
as many times as you want, but eventually it gets boring.
BeanidJess: not to some people
BeanidJess: some people love rollercoasters so much that
they can never stop enjoying them
BeanidJess: becuase they are like life
BeanidJess: and that is what makes us love or hate them
BeanidJess: ^_^
BeanidJess: and if they get boring
BeanidJess:
then you just have to change what you are doing so you can go on a different
roller coaster ride
BeanidJess: one that doesn't bore you like the one you rode
previous
BeanidJess:
basicly
BeanidJess: change your life so nothing is broing
anymore
BeanidJess: ~.~
That's all for now.
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August 24, 2005
Ok, while having a fit
of insomnia last night, I wrote two poems. Please read. And if you
don't....well you're missing out. (They are on the poetry page, in case
you didn't know)
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August 23, 2005
I made a program today!! I'm
so proud of myself. I know, I'm a geek and a loser. But I like it and I really
don't give a f**k about what you think about me. Click
HERE to see the program.
You can probably translate it into any other language. Try to figure out what
it's supposed to do!
See the poetry page to see one of my away messages that I have. It's pretty
funny. I think. And I don't care what you think.
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August 22, 2005
Everyone hates
me.........Except for the ones who don't.
Well, I hate everyone
too........Except for the ones that I don't.
I'm Confusing!! Deal with it!
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August 17, 2005
I WENT TO THE GREAT ESCAPE TODAY!!!! YAY!!!
It was soo cool. I love the Great Escape.
That is all.
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August 09, 2005
Today is my brother's b-day.
But I don't like him very much so I'm going to go to the movies with my friends.
Even though he is going to the movies with his friends, I'm going with my
friends, at a totally different time. And maybe, I'll be able to get in TWO
movies today. That would be shweet. Ok, bye.
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August 07, 2005
Ok, look on the home page to see my hair.
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August 06, 2005
I DID IT!! Can't take it back now. I dyed my
hair. I'm not sure what it looks like because I literally just did it. But
I'll put up a pic of what it looks like when I do.
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August 05, 2005
Ok, I got the dye for my hair. I can't wait
to dye it. I'm going to dye it red. I'll put up a pic of what it looks
like when I do.
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August 04, 2005
I drove on the highway today!! It was so cool! I
was scared at first, but then it gets cool. It added like two hours to my time
sheet! SIGN MY GUEST BOOK!!!
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August 02, 2005
Ok, I've been told
to put in a guest book. So, go to the home page and check it out. I also
put in a daily comic. Hope you like it.
Last night I couldn't sleep at all. I was awake until like, 3 in the
morning. I'm so tired right now. But, it wasn't all to waste. As I was
lying awake, desperately trying to fall asleep, I realized something. My
pg/f broke up with me because she didn't like to be that close and hug and
stuff, and I did. But, I don't think she really ever knew WHY I liked to
hug. I think that she thinks that I liked to hug because it made me horny.
And, some of the times, it did. But definitely not all the times. So, I
want her to know why I liked them. Because it made me feel like I was
needed. Like someone out there wanted me to be with them. That's why I
liked to hug her, because it made me feel good, all bubbly inside. And
that, I think, is why I'm was having a hard time getting over her. Because
she was the only person so far who has made me feel that way and I didn't
want it to go. That's what I think. You can tell me if I'm wrong or not in
my new guest book.
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July 31, 2005
For those of you that I
told, you already know, for those that don't, I have been on a trip to
visit my relatives. My grandma, Uncle, Aunt, for example. Anyway, as I was
on this little trip around Northern New England, I have been thinking
about just about everything and decided that I need to tell some one how I
feel about things, mainly the recent break up that happened. My previous
g/f will be referred to as 'pg/f' (previous girlfriend) so that I don't
give away her name and still have something to call her. The reason that I
am writing it on my web page is because I need to tell SOMEONE and I don't
know who to tell, so I'll tell everyone at once. About a million birds
with one stone as it were. I am sure that there is a better order that I
could have put these in, and there was on in my head, but I forgot it. So,
I'll tell things as they come to my mind.
First of all. I wish I could go back in time to the first (and only) time
that me and my pg/f kissed. I wish that I could change what I said after
she kissed me. Stupid me said, "Thats wasn't that hard was it?" And upon
reflection, that was really stupid to say. What I meant to say was, "Thank
you." Maybe if I had said that, she'd have had the courage to kiss me
again. But I didn't say that, so... nothing I can do.
Next I wanted her to know that she was special to me. I don't know how, or
what it was. But she had something special about her that I liked. And,
unfortunately, still do. I don't know why it's so hard for me to get over
her, but it is and it's killing me inside. I keep having these
dreams/fantasies where she wants me back. And I know that won't happen.
I'm not even sure if I want that to happen. I mean, I've been hurt by her,
and I don't want that. But there is a space in my heart that she had, and
now that's empty and I want to fill it. For anyone who has ever seen
40 Days and 40 Nights, it's kind
of like that, except I don't see a big crack every time I look at my
ceiling, I feel it in my heart. Also, what really hurt me, is that she all
but forced my to ask another girl out. That hurt a lot. It told me that
she must REALLY want to leave me if she is forcing me to date another
girl. That's another reason why I don't know if I want to like her still
or not. She has hurt me, and I don't know if I can stand to get hurt by
her again. I'm still weird about her liking another guy though. I don't
know why. I think I'd explode if I saw her kissing him, or hugging him, or
even holding his hand. Especially after her excuse for dumping me. But
that probably won't happen. I hope...
And the new girl that I asked out. I do like her. I mean, she's
funny, and nice and I'd like to get to know her better. I don't know if I
actually 'like' her, because I have only dated my pg/f. Which, I admit, is
kind of sad. So, I don't know what I like in a girl yet because I have
only one person to base it on. And I hope that our relationship goes
better than my previous one did. Even if we don't go out. And sorry for
'the new girl that I asked out' title. I don't want to call you your name,
and I don't know what else to name you here, so... yeah.
That's what I've been thinking. I'm sure I've forgotten something. But
that's what I can remember so far.
OH yeah. I'm probably going to
dye my hair dark red. Like this weekend or something. It'll look really
cool.
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July
21, 2005
Ok, well, today went better. For the most part, I
got over my g/f and we are now friends. Which is good. To the guy she likes now,
good luck.
On a different subject, I think I've ridden at least 12 miles on my bike the
last two days. That's a lot considering I haven't ridden that far in awhile.
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July 20,
2005
I'm sad. My g/f just broke up with
me. I really liked her too. I wish I knew why she broke up with me. She has
been acting kind of distant lately. The only thing that has changed about
me is that I got a hair cut, I know she said she didn't like it, and that
hurt me, but I don't think she would break up JUST because my hair is
shorter. That's just not nice.
So, nobody had e-mailed me to talk to me. I feel lonely now. But, they
don't have too. I mean, it is my site, not theirs. Hope you had a better
day than mine.
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July 09, 2005
Ok, I'm going to be gone for the
next week. Just so all yall know.
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July 07, 2005
Hello again! I've been at my camp. It is
SO cool. It's right on the lake and and it is awesome. I can go tubing, water
skiing, and wakeboarding when ever I want!! It is soo much fun.
But, I do miss
my girlfriend. But I got to go see War of the Worlds with her last night. That
was good. The movie is awesome, but the end is kind of bad. Maybe I should start
a movie review page? I don't know. Maybe. Anyway, that's what I've been up to.
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June 22, 2005
Ok,
sorry I didn't update. I was...shall we say....held up. Anyway, it's
SUMMER!! YEAY!!!! I am so happy now. Unfortunately, I don't get to see my
g/f as much anymore. That's sad. But, I got to go to one of her swim
meets, 'cause she's a swimmer, and boy does she look good in a swim suit.
I mean....HOT!. I think at least. And, I don't really care what you think
of her. Anyway, I'm not even supposed to be on the computer right now
because I'm supposed to be 'held up'. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. So, yeah.
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June 16, 2005
Today, is basically the day
that I finished my web page. I'm so proud of myself. So, yeah. that was
what happened today.
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