| Spam, it's taking valuable job opportunities away from todays chickens. -Mr. Happy |
| Just graduated. Would you like fries with that? -Grade 9 yearbook |
| I'm not short, just vertically challenged. -Source Unknown |
| Never laugh until you've walked a mile in thier shoes. Because then you are a mile away and you have thier shoes. -Some website |
| Those who don't eat become anorexic. -A fellow camper |
| Give back my piggys. -Overheard at camp |
| Education is when you read the fine print. Experiance is what you get when you don't. -Peter Seeger |
| What's another word for Thesaurus? -Stephen Wright |
| Ending a sectence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put. -Sir Winston Churchill |
| I plan to live forever. So far so good. -Source Unknown |
| Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most. -Ozzy Osborn |
| What would the world be like without hypothetical questions? -Source Unknown |
| The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The realist knows that if he stays around long enough he'll have to wash the glass. -Source Unknown |
| We didn't get to the top of the food chain to become vegitarians. -Bumbersticker |
| Roses are red, vilolets are blue, I'm a scitsaphrenique and so am I. -Source unknown |
| Live free or die. -All New Hampsture licence plates |
| [The] Ancient Greeks: extraordinary people, but they spent a lot of time killing each other. -Professor Tracy |
| You can only discover this once. -Professor Tracy |
| If you don't succed, redifine success. -Source Unknown |
| Live every day of your life as if it were your last and eventually you'll be right. -Source Unknown |
| Anytime people are doing something weird in art, say, 'ah, must be religious.' -Professor Hatton |
| Ideas are like children: there are none so wonderful as your own. -Source Unkown |
| Ideas die quickly in some heads because they can't stand solitary confinment. -Source Unknown |
| Here are some of the more humerus quotes that I've found |
| Change is good. You go first. -Dilbert |
| The secret of life is honesty and fair dealings. If you can fake that, you've got it made. -Groucho Marx |
| A speech should be like a women's skirt. Long enough to cover the subject yet short enought to be interesting. -Source Unknown |
| Why is it there is never enough time to do a job right. But always enough to do it over? -Source Unknown |
| Being brave is being the only one that knows you're afraid. -Source Unknown |
| Life is simply a sexually transmited disease. -A book I can't remember |
| Ave Imperator, Moriturite Salutamus (Hail Emporer, we who will die salute you). -The last words of all Roman gladiators, directed at the person responsible for thier death |
| Brevity is the spirit of wit and of longerie. -Source Unknown |