Somebody Else's Space Program
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Chapter Fifty Four "Right here by my side..."
"You filled him up with this nonsense, virtually programmed him to fall in love with me. For what? To keep me here for your space program?"
Mairyonven sat calmly and looked up at Ross. "I will not have you shouting at me. More to the point, if my guards hear you shouting, they will decide to intervene. Neither of us wants that."
Ross paced, hissing... then sat next to Mairyonven on the couch. Much lower in volume, but still harsh. "How could you do that to your son? In a few years, he's going to find someone he actually will get attached to, and then..."
"What do you fear, Ross? That he will leave you? That you'll become so used to accessible sex that you'll forget how to hunt?"
"I am afraid he will learn to hate me, when he finds out I'm not this mythical thing he's entranced with. The Golden Rose. I ask you again, did you fill his head with this nonsense?"
"No. Jheraind did. One of the duties of the royal family is to find the Golden Rose and his or her companion. Companion is not always mate, do you understand? 'Keeper' might be a better word, although since the lives overlap each other, the rose is often older than the companion."
"How did they know it was Envyss?"
"Birthdate, mostly. There isn't a birthmark or anything. Just someone of our royal blood, born the right day. When he becomes thirteen -- or her -- she is given the legend. Eventually, all of the records."
That was news. "He's recording me?" Ross jumped to his feet.
"Ross. Calm down." Ross stood there, staring at her. "He makes notes. The only 'recordings' I know he has are of public events. And some songs that Jheraind recorded you singing. He _loves_ you. He is not going to embarass you by writing something private down, much less filming you."
"He thinks he loves me. I think he is in love with the myth."
"Please stop towering over me."
Ross froze. "I'm sorry. This has me really worried."
"So I see. Please sit down."
Ross stared down at Mairyonven for a long instant, then just folded his legs and sat on the floor at her feet. "Is that better?"
"Yes. Thank you."
"I'll try to keep my temper... what would have happened if the child born at the right time had been a girl? Would you have insisted that I marry her?"
"'Companion is not always mate,'" Mairyonven repeated. "You don't even have to like each other. But it is his duty to keep the record of his birth and yours, and your death. Call it a priestly obligation."
"Thirteen. He said he fell in love when he was two. That's impossible."
"He remembered you quite clearly. He --" she smiled, almost shyly, "-- he wanted to know if he could have gold hair like that. And he asked me why you smelled so nice. And a few years later, he asked me if you had a girlfriend, because he wanted to meet kids that looked like you."
Ross had started to joke, stopped. "What?"
"He had no idea he was going to get you. He didn't even know you weren't interested in women. It had been three years since he had seen you, and he remembered, and he knew you were something he wanted. At least a part of. That's why I sent him away. His father's people regard the golden rose as a myth, something long ago. They don't know we still have you with us. Certainly, _they_ didn't feed him any fairy tales."
A chime -- the specific signal that said it was Envyss on the way up. Ross started to get to his feet. "Stay there."
"Yes, ma'am."
It was Envyss, but there was something else as well -- a puppy, smaller than Ross usually liked them, but... the puppy struggled in Envyss's arms until he let it go onto the floor. "She's just been weaned, and has some paper training. Now that I'm home, I can help take care of her -- I know you couldn't manage one when you were handling the project all by yourself. But you get to name her."
An unfamliar breed, but very playful and affectionate. "Is Gretchen acceptable as a name? My aunt did a good job of taking care of me, especially if I was not actually kin of hers."
---
"I want to see everything you have put into the archive about me."
"There isn't much..." Envyss paged to the end of a sheaf of papers. "Here." He read, "I, Envyss son of Mairyonven daughter of Trefaldyn, acknowledge my duty as companion to Ross Colburn, successor to Ivar MacCrossan, Aurhyn Rhos..." Envyss read off at least four other names, then turned to Ross, "Do you want the whole list? It's here."
"No. You're stalling. That isn't about me. That's about you."
"Very well. Let's see... My next entry... 'This is my sixteenth birthday. Tonight, I will be provided with companions for the night, to explore my adulthood. And it will not happen. There was someone I met, many years ago, and that is what I want. He is the one I want. And no one will even _listen_ to me. My father says that such a one would be a foreigner, and is not fit for my attentions, not this night. So be it."
"I thought that was a place to record details about the golden rose, not for a teenager to whine."
Envyss colored a little. "I wanted my protest to be permanently inscribed somewhere. No one would dare change that book. It does sound a bit whiny, doesn't it."
"Yes. Is the next entry any better?"
"That depends on what you mean. 'I have met the one named by Jheraind son of... alright, alright, you don't want to hear that... as being the golden rose. I am shocked and dismayed -- I remember this man from my childhood. And now I see that Jheraind's words were aimed at me -- that "companion" was not enough. I dare not write more of this.' "
"And? Next entry?"
"There isn't one. Not in the book."
"That is going to scare your successor to death."
"It scares _me_. I know why the entries are so cold. Any warmth, and all the doubts flow through..." He closed the book gently. "I need to add something for the next one, that the fear was groundless." He closed his eyes, sat with his hand on the book. "This is not what I planned for my life."
"But it is. You decided to keep me after I fed you pastry."
"Yes. I did." His eyes opened, and he looked up, up at Ross. "I'm used to having my life run for me -- anyone born to high rank is. It's the price of the privileges. And our religion says we accept that, we choose the bodies we are born into. Do your people have a better answer? When I went to school, I met so many people with different gods... and some were similar, and some very different. But no one had a myth living with them, gracing their bed. And I couldn't talk to anyone about it, either. Not without getting thrown out of school."
"I'm not a myth. I'm real."
"I know. That's why I kept playing the songs. To remind me that you really existed." Envyss stood up, pushed the chair back under the desk. "I could see your face, while they had us under detention..." Eyes half-lidded, "They let me keep my recordings. Your voice kept me sane."
"Come here," Ross said softly. Envyss moved into the older man's arms. "I was worried about you. Worried that they would hurt you. Your mother had to order me not to charge out and rescue you."
Ross could hear the grin in his partner's voice. "She did? You let her?"
"She threatened me with house arrest. I decided not to force her hand. She owns more troops than I do."
Envyss laughed. "But she sent them all to get me. The other detainees were impressed, at least."
---
"Are you in love with this 'golden rose'?"
Envyss rolled over to face his partner. His hand reached out, traced the side of Ross's face. "I thought the idea was absurd. Even if the gods did something a thousand years ago, why should they meddle with my love life now?"
"Thought. Not think."
"There is nothing in the legends that say I have to love the rose. I fell in love with you. I think I fell in love with your smell."
"It's a good thing I showered, then."
"Oh?" Envyss thought about it, "Oh. Did you have both of them? My mother and Medlen?"
"You know I'm not going to answer that."
"Those were the two other adults that had those chemicals in their blood. I know that Mother tasted funny..." a very strange smile on Envyss's face. "She looked like Jheraind, or you wouldn't have bothered. _You_ are as doomed to me as I am to you. Admit it."
Ross took a pillow and tried to smother Endyss, not pushing all _that_ hard. And the wrestling turned to lovemaking, as it almost always did.