| My Darling Son Michael.
It has been a while since I wrote my last letter to you, but don�t you, for a minute think that I have forgotten you. You are always on my mind and forever in my heart. I don�t go up the cemetery so much now, only about once a week or fortnight! There was a time when, I had to go up everyday, and felt guilty if I didn�t. I could feel and sense you there. Now though I hate it, its cold, empty, and lonely����Where have you gone Mike? They say as time goes by you learn to move on. But I don�t believe that still. I still get a pang every time I look at your photograph. It hurts so much. And now we are coming up to that awful time of the year, Christmas. Though the funny thing is that I�m actually beginning to enjoy the thought of it, but in reality I just know, all I will be doing is crying and putting on the mask again. Every sad song I hear, every sad scene I watch on the telly, is all it takes. To take me right back to square one again! Today���I�m just aching for you. Life carrying on around me as normal, and I feel in a daze, as if its all happening to somebody else. I still sometimes just cant believe this is REALLY happening to me. And why??????????? What did we ever do, that was so bad, to deserve this to happen to us. Kate is now driving and has her own car, she has been with Aden (her boyfriend) for 9 months. and is now 18. Where has the years gone���You were both my little babies, and now all grown up. Only I never got the chance to see you grow up. Kate�s 18th was really hard for me. All your mates were there at her party, Darren, Wayne, Shaun, Ollie. All of them warning Aden, that though you are not around, if he hurt�s or upset�s her, they would all sort him out for you! (poor Aden, doesn�t stand a chance really) does he? But Kate Loves him Mike, really loves him. And I need you to watch over her. I feel like I�m loosing her too. I know I have to let her go, and let her make her own mistakes, let her enjoy her life. But its so bloody hard. Mitchel is now 6, and into �Power Rangers� we all know, that he has a bit of you inside him. Sometimes I just wanna get hold of him and hug him. I tend to shy away from him a bit now, and I get the feeling he shy�s away from me too. Its as if he knows! But I see him looking at me in a certain way. And its as if its YOU standing there. He is such a sensitive little boy, just like you was. I love him to bits. And I love to go round and see them. I want to be able to take them out, to see the fireworks etc like we used to take you and Kate. To watch their little faces light up like yours did. To see that lovely grin, that used to melt my heart. Leah is now 2, and she is soooooooooo cheeky. You would absolutely adore her. You cant help laughing at everything she does. She is such a sweetie. Ellie will be 1 after xmas, I don�t get to see her as much as the other two, but she is lovely too. Well what more can I tell you, that I havn�t already said in my previous letters. One thing that will ALWAYS be said no matter what is������ I LOVE YOU MICHAEL and I MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH. Forever in my heart now and Always Mum xxxxxxxxx PS�. This is what your gorgeous Little Sis now looks like |
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