I'm a TV quote fanatic, as you may or may not know, I could put all the good ones here but that would take too much room and time, as I'm a slow lazy typist, so I'll just put the ones I think are good. Any suggestions, just mail me.
Also, soon or never I may put up some quotes from other TV shows and movies, like Seinfeld, Dilbert, Buffy and Star Trek, I know what you're thinking; "Star Trek!?, this Mike fellow must be positively mad", firstly I know that there are actually some people out there who don't talk like 19th Century English upperclassmen, so don't engage in legal action against me. Secondly Star Trek has great quotes, like this one:
"Where's Tolar?"
"I've locked him in his quarters, and I've given him the impression this if he tries to force the door open, it may explode."
"Let's hope thats just an impression."
<Nervously>"It's best not to dwell on such things."
I made my point.
"Me fail english?, that's unpossible" -Ralph
"If the Bible has tought us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, like hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such." -Homer
"Are we gonna die son?"
"Yeah, but at least we're gonna take a lot of innocent people with us" -Homer + Bart
"Sweet merciful crap!" -Homer
"I'd like to return your quote unquote, ultimate belt."
"Do you have a receipt, quote unquote sir?"
"No I do not, I won it as a door prize at a Star Trek convention, though I find their choice of prize extrmely illogical, as the average Trekker has no need for a medium size belt."
"Whoa, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan, you must be a devil with the ladies."
"I <sigh> I will now return to my store where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them." -Comic Book Guy and Store Clerk
<Describing the I&S movie>"You wouldn't believe the celebrities that did cameos, Dustin Hoffman, Micheal Jackson, they didn't use their real names but you knew it was them." -Lisa
"Simpson, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in history,
from the, town of Springfield,
he's about to hit a chestnut tree, AAHHH!" -Homer
"Ralph, Jesus did not have wheels." -Sunday school teacher
"Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids, eat them!" -Homer
"I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colours before he invented the light bulb." -Homer
