The Filipino Style...
Music: Carinosa (Filipino)
Marriage Proposal (Pagtatapat). "Will you marry me?" or variations of those four significant keywords signals the possible beginning of a much-awaited grand celebration. The asking of a girl's parents' permission to wed the affianced pair is called the "Pamamanhikan". This blueprint of the wedding plans are drawn or made known on this occasion. The 'pamamanhikan is often hosted by the bride's family where the groom and his parents set to visit the bride's family to formally ask her hand in marriage and discuss plans for the upcoming wedding over lunch or dinner. The groom-and-bride-to-be may feel a little awkward (nervous even) seeing and listening to each parents consult each other face-to-face on matters like their wedding budget, guest list and the likes. It is customary that the visiting family bring a gift (often, the mother's best home-cooked specialty) for the hosts. Others may opt to hold the meeting on a neutral ground (a restaurant is a popular choice) or invite a mutual acquaintance to the gathering and help ease the first meeting. Why bother with the troubles? Filipinos seek their folk's blessings for a happy and hassle-free marriage. Afterall, pamamanhikan is a treasured heritage which first and foremost, avoids an awkward situation having the parents see each other as strangers come wedding day.
Engagement Ring (SingSing). Normally an average Filipino man is wary on giving a ring as gift on ordinary occasions for he is concerned that his girlfriend might get the wrong impression because a ring tends to speak of a deeper commitment. It really says a lot even without saying a word. The engagement ring is not a requisite to marriage but more of an option It is both an adaptation of the western culture and a modern incarnation of a pre-colonial practice by giving a dowry to his future wife to signify his intentions. The ring is usually given simultaneouly with the proposal (Note: Don't give it until she says 'YES') in a romantic ambiance. Of course the Diamond is the popular 'ROCK', some traditional sentimental Filipino families even insist and have their son offer a treasured family heirloom as an engagement ring to symbolize her acceptance and approval of his family.
"Paninilbihan" is a service rendered by the man to woo the girl's family's approval. This is said to be a long forgotten tradition where the marrying man attends to some daunting chores for the family of the bride to show his worth, fortitude, and responsibility.