OK, a little background! I'm from the USA. Wheels are freedom. Freedom is life. Life is wheels. What more need I say?

With each passing day I was becoming more blasé with calmly walking everywhere in the midst of the loud and overbearing traffic. And I do mean in the midst - no one walks on the sidewalks, those are for dogs to leave there calling cards on. And hopping in the little three wheeled rickshaws was getting to be the norm. And my desire for freedom, for life, for wheels, was growing. I started thinking. If Mumbaikers (the residents of Mumbai) can drive here, why I can't I?

But . . . . . . India was once a part of England's mighty empire. And the Brits left the legacy of driving on the left side of the road. That can be confusing. And traffic here really is, well, absolutely overwhelming. From the sides of the streets it looks like there are no rules!

So, how do I get some experience driving here without killing myself? Or too many other people!

Then I saw them. Driver's Ed cars. Incredibly calm instructors sitting in the driver's seat - oh wait, that's the passenger's seat - pointing left and right and generally instructing frightened teenagers trying to act cool behind the huge steering wheel of the beater of a Driver's Ed car!

That's for me!

And so contact was made with the Central Motor Training School. 3500 Rupies was paid for a series of 20 lessons, each lasting a half hour. And soon that will result in the issuance of an Indian Drivers License to one Mike Scott Perry. Oh, don't worry, I'm going to keep my Colorado license too!

Day one. Lesson one. My first thought as I gently pull out into traffic was 'ARGH!!!!!!!!'. Shortly thereafter, instead, I was laughing. But the laughter wasn't out of joy. Perhaps it was hysteria. You see, my laughter was because in my mind I was picturing the intricate dance of cars and trucks and motorcycles and mopeds and bikes and rickshaws and people and pushcarts and dogs and cows and goats and garbage trucks and school buses which was occurring in front of my very eyes, all captured as the video in a drivers Ed simulator back in the good old USA! This would confound even a video game virtuoso! (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6715726097165611571&q=MUMBAI+TRAFFIC&hl=en)

But as time went on, and lesson came after lesson, I started to see the patterns. There is an incredibly complex and intricate flow that does occur on these streets. There is sense and order and structure in the midst of seeming chaos.

So, here are a few of the rules that bring that order to that chaos.

Watch in front of you. That is rule number one.

If its in front of you, don't hit it. Especially if its bigger than you! Rule number two!

Rule number three - don't worry about what's behind you! They're watching you because you're in front of them, you don't have to watch them too.

After passing someone, remember, they're behind you. They are no longer your concern. You're in front of them, they're watching you! Cut them off!

Mr. Tata put the horn on your Tata Indigo for a reason. Use it! Its not aggressive. Its not loud and annoying (although it is!). Its a polite reminder to those in front of you that you're behind them. By using your horn often, the people in front of you don't have to look behind themselves and worry about what's back there (see rules one, two and three).

Lanes? What are those? You can fit many more vehicles per square meter if you don't bother with those crazy white lines that you can't see anyway by the time the traffic is bumper to bumper!

If you have any aggressive or territorial instincts in your sense of 'your space' when driving - STOP! Get off the street. There is no sense of 'right of way' or 'this is my space, you better get out of it'. The roads are to be shared. You don't own the space even one centimeter away from your own car so flip your side mirrors in so they won't get scraped off, and see how intimate you and the cars around you can get without actually touching!

Left turns. Well, actually they're right turns here. But you know the kind, where you cross the oncoming traffic to make your turn. Do not form a line of right turners! As one person starts to edge out into the oncoming traffic, everyone else should slide in beside him. Not behind him. Beside him This way you are protected by his vehicle as you make your turn. Beside him. Its cool. A two lane road can handle easily handle four cars side by side making a right turn across the oncoming traffic and onto another two lane road. I learned this lesson quickly the first time I tried to form a line of right turners and my instructor grabbed the steering wheel from my hands and threw us in the lane of oncoming traffic, right beside the other car trying to make a right turn.

Oh, and when you make that right turn across the on coming traffic, do feel free to start it, oh, a half a block before the intersection. Its almost comforting to be driving down the street on the side that you, the American, are used to, us you get ready to make a turn!

Well, that pretty well covers it. I mean there are those little things like shifting with your left hand. And the confounding fact that the windshield wiper control is where the turn signal ought to be. I have called out a few times to confused drivers, questioning why the couldn't tell I was turning! I mean my windshield wipers were on - what more do they want - the turn signal!

So, soon, decision time about a vehicle!

I already mentioned the Tata Indigo (http://www.tata.com/0_products_services/homes_individuals/passenger_cars.htm).

Or, Maruti owns the Suzuki brand here. And the Maruti Gypsy is a beautiful little old pick up truck, Somewhat in the tradition of the really old Ford Bronco - when the pick up bed was also part of the cab.

(http://www.autocarindia.com/new/RoadTestDetails.asp?ID=1061)

And Maruti is about to come out with a new Zen model that looks pretty cool. (http://www.marutizen.com/)

And, Royal Enfield makes the Bullet motorcycle with all the mystique and aura of America's Harley. (http://www.royalenfield.com/app/IN/default.asp)

Decisions, decisions! Do feel free to cast your vote!