How can this deep path expand deeper still within???? yet it does. Yet it is.
I glance at the calendar and count down hours and days. Not much more than a month. I will. I simply will. Survive.
There has not been a moment you are not with me, underscoring each breath I take, every thought and everything that is happening around me. I sense you with me. Feel you. ... companion in all. I hear your voice - I miss hearing your voice, yet here you can be with me in every moment and see my world and my life through my eyes, my every moment - my every thought.
At exactly 5.30pm I stepped out into the black of my winter evening. Winter in Sydney. Desultorily I traipsed across a frighteningly busy access road ( one of the main entrances to the city proper...feed road to the Sydney Harbour Bridge from the north side...). For once the flow of light access and traffic flow was in my favour as the wind ripped through and tore at my jacket. I stood waiting for the traffic lights to change for my dash across 9 lanes of heavy traffic.... dazed, mind anywhere but here as I wait, making mental note to find my gloves in the depths of my bag once I get to the bus stop.
Up the hill, feeling the slight pull on my calf muscles and my thighs, I had barely leaned against the Bus Stand Uprights when a bus pulled up and I was safely warmly coccooned within the yellowed hollow, thrumming across the northern parts of the city dancing behind the snaking stream of dancing red globes of shimmering metallic firfly like lights... weaving, turning, twisting, whishing..... The work day is done... eyes close momentarily, pen poised as I make notes...without even thinking I chew the end of my pen. I look up seeing through everyone and everything seeking your voice in my mind, your face; I smile a little. Words haze and fade as I struggle to capture what Is ee and feel before it dissipates.
