At lunchtime I made an effort and walked away from that place... stood up, checked my watch.. smiled, and instead of bringing work with me, I sat down in a classic lunchtime shop... part cafe, part "sandwich shop" definately no frills, all bustle and hustle... milling attendants ( all related) behind the counter...
The chill of the early morning which bit at my fingers and tried to bite through my clothing is no longer anywhere apparent. The sky is blue. The heat from the winter sun is magnified through the glass of the shopfront...reflecting, blinding from shiny duco and windshields and gloss...steady hum of traffic along the main road I face... aware of it, feeling the thrum... an everyday symphony (often discordant, ever striving, for better or different or usually more...eerie background music to a rich internal life...) underscoring the daily workaday world I move through strangely untouched.
Odd the impact of this, us. Intense, longing redolent moments, hours, days... living within a haze of longing. How full and replete on one level and how achingly empty on another. Imbalance. How deep and full and rich the fabric of this day is. How glutted I feel... how wonderfully dazed. Selfishly, I take, wrapping around me the wonder of us...you/me/us/need/want/desire/lust.
I feel like a present in a hurry to rip apart my own wrappings to present myself before you... feeling more and more like pass_the_parcel at a 5 year old'sbirthday party... Trust unfettered, loveunbound - or should that be unbounded? The wordsmith falters, the artist closes her eyes as words swilr like fairy dust throughout and around before the screen in her mind, and the haze negates the gift of her skills with words... does not, cannot capture the extent of the every whirling, expanding, deepeneing vastness of this enveloping encompassing unfettered wonder. Tasting freedom and all time to expand and unfold into, the gift and the sure safety of a climate of love and acceptance
transfinite
