To collect fumes of
sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When you smell a
oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Water is composed of two
gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes, and caterpillers.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is
composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
The
moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
Artificial
insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them
perspire.
A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can
hold.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like
umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against
insects.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken
out and the outsides have been taken off.
The purpose of the skeleton is
that it is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists
of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
The
tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends towards the Moon,
because there is no water in the Moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget
where the Sun joins this fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older
it is, the more extinct it is.
Equator: a managerie lion running around
the Earth through Africa.
Germinate: to become a naturalized German.
Liter: a nest of young puppies.
Magnet: something you find
crawling all over a dead cat.
Planet: a body of earth surrounded by sky.
Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Before giving a blood
transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
To remove
dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For a nosebleed, put
the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.
For a dog bite,
put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
For a head cold, use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in
your throat.
To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the
cow. �
