August 1, 2001 (12:16pm): Damn. If I just weren't so mediocre. My grades are terrible. I have no motivation. I have no real intelligence or backlog of experience to call upon. All I've got is a handful of wits that I sling around like a bullroarer.
Still... People tell me what they like most about me is my guts. That I'm not afraid to smack into a wall if I think it'll get me somewhere.
August 2, 2001 (1:11pm): I feel like a jerk. I promised my friend Sheeny that I could get some people to go to a show she was working on, but I couldn't. Hrm. No one here on campus really wants to do anything. So I ended up letting my friend down.
I've got some Supremes song stuck in my head. It goes, like, "I'm gonna make you love me, ooh, yes, I will, ah, yes, I will..." Any help here? Does anyone know what the hell I'm talking about?
I've been working on my webpage, but there's just not much I can do with it. I don't know much about webpage design and HTML, and I don't have much to present. I've been making dinky pages for years, but there's just never anything to show for it. Hmm... That's partially why I started this "daily monitor."
I was the only person in class today. Was kinda awkward. I showed up about fifteen minutes early, like I always do. Dr. Frasure just kinda chatted about the history of this school, which was interesting but still kinda weird. I dunno, I think it's 'cause I was the only one in there. If there had been a couple others, I wouldn't have minded. But just the one-on-one with someone I don't really even know...
Anyway, after the history of Salem, he told me about President Nixon, from Nixon's World War II activities to his resignation from the Presidency. That was a lot of information to take in, especially when you consider that Frasure doesn't leave room for a dialogue. He just talks and talks. I dunno.
Then I had to watch some stone-boring video about Nixon. It was an interview, and he was reflecting on his career and exalting his own political ideals. Ugh. It was dull! I mean, I like stuff like that, but an hour or so of some old flabby-faced guy wasn't what I wanted to see in the morning.
It's just not a good day for politics, history and me.
August 3, 2001 (8:04am): Sheesh. I don't know why I go to breakfast so early... I mean, I don't have class till 9:00am, but I show up for breakfast at 7:30am or so each morning. It only takes me a few minutes to eat, so I'm left with over an hour to kill...
August 3, 2001 (10:18am): I'd like to take this moment to retract any nice things I've said about the fried chicken in the school cafeteria. It's awful. It just, I dunno, stinks.
Ho hee ho... Hmm... There are only so many ways to occupy my time while I waits for lunch... Stupid me, I went to class today and zipped through the test, my only classwork today. I was done in about forty minutes. So I've just been sitting on my rump since, like, 9:40am. And I still have 35 minutes.
Ag! Dammit! I hate time! It's too slow, then too fast...
And I'm so sleepy... I didn't consume any caffeine at breakfast. I was gonna, but then I thought, "What if I didn't? Does caffeine really impact my morning all that much, anyway?" So I thought I'd check it out.
As it turns out, it damn well does. A good deal.
August 5, 2001 (12:46pm): I was sitting in the cafeteria a few minutes ago, eating breakfast, when this stream of water starts dripping on me from above. Sploosh.
I don't know where the hell it came from, but it kept coming. So I had to get up and go.
Anyway... I'm gonna go help someone move outta her dorm room.
Oh, and today's Waak's one-year anniversary. Neato.
August 6, 2001 (8:23am): Ah, another week, another...um...week.
Note: Pancakes are deceptive.
August 7, 2001 (10:13am): Geez. This morning I had to go into the apartment office to review my income and tuition and stuff, so they could determine my rent for the next year. The office is open from 8:00am till 5:00pm, but each day I'm on campus from around 7:30am till 9:00pm. Hrm.
So, though I really didn't wanna, I skipped class this morning and went in around 9:30am. Turns out, though, they had gone ahead and decided that my income had not changed from the previous year, and I had to do nothing.
So I missed class (which, come to think of it, woulda been a video of Jimmy Carter). Curses. Bah, even!
Eh... I have a headache. It's one of those sneeze headaches, too. I mean, my neck was already kind of sore, but then I sneezed and the headache just exploded. Ugh. And there's really nothing I can do about it, 'cause I just have to wait for the muscles in my neck to go back to normal.
I'm gonna start tinkering with some essays I have to send out to prospective colleges. I was thinking I'd write one for Harvard...in pig Latin. Maybe Cornell...as a 17th Century pirate ("Argh! Lemme aboard, ye lily-livered plank-hugger!").
August 8, 2001 (10:52am): Just got back from a field trip to a county jail and courthouse. Um... It was boring as hell, mostly.
I mean, the whole time I felt like I should be asking questions, but you know what? I really don't have that many questions.
We were going through a maximum security ward, and the guy giving the tour asked if there were any questions. Well... There weren't. What would I ask? "Gee, can the inmates pee in private?" Jail cells are pretty self-explanatory! There's the bars, there's the bunk, there's the inmate. Okay, I got it.
Anyway... As we left the courthouse, the town smelled really nice. Had a very familiar, very comfortable Charleston-like scent. The smells of street corner restaurants, car exhaust (it's not that bad) and just something people-ish. And the sun was shining, and there was plenty of humidity, so it all blended together, and I wanted to stay in town, but of course I couldn't. Damn.
August 9, 2001 (4:58pm): Um... Eh... I got nothin'.
August 10, 2001 (1:54pm): Whee. I finally got my work-study started. I'll be working in the library this year. I didn't wanna work in Montgomery Hall again. Taking IDs is boring work. They say it's fun 'cause all one has to do is sit in the lobby and watch TV, but it's dull as nails for me. Bleh.
So... I'll get my schedule soon, and get to working, and pretty soon I'll have paltry sums of cash to fret over.
August 12, 2001 (2:01pm): Whoa. I haven't added much to this in the last week. I haven't been doing all that much. Um...
Well, yesterday the electricity went off before I could add an entry. I hadda settle for play hide-and-seek in the library instead. And I suck at hide-and-seek. Especially with my baggy pants. They make so much noise, and so do my flip-flops. Dammit. If I had tight-fitting clothes and no shoes, my thin self would dart in and out of bookshelves with the greatest of grace and ease!
But whatever.
August 14, 2001 (8:23am): Okay, okay... I haven't been writing much lately. I'm fucking lazy, what can I say?
Really, though, I just haven't been up to it. Like yesterday, I had a splitting headache all damn day. It sucked.
Class is boring. I have to go finish watching a Harry S. Truman bio-documentary this morning.
I'm still thinking about Cornell, but more likely I'll wind up at WVU or UMass. Whatever. The good thing about Cornell, though, is that in each department they have about 1,400 courses to choose from, whereas SIU has about 12 for each major. Goddamn joke.
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August 15, 2001 (1:57pm): The weather's nice today. Scorching in the sunlight, freezing in the shadows. Hmm.
August 16, 2001 (2:59pm): Okay, this school here in Salem, it runs on a modular schedule.
There are 12 "mods" a year, each going for three and a half weeks each. Students take one class at a time, unless they take multi-mods, which is a stupid thing I don't wanna get into.
There are things both good and bad about this system. The good: we can concentrate on one subject at a time, and not worry about being bogged down by too much work. No one ever seems to be bogged down by work, but then again, there are a good deal of fucking idiot jocks here. (Ahem.)
The bad: Every night I walk home and think, "You know, Mike, you, er, me, I can just finish this mod and leave if I wanna. Just that simple. Every three weeks I'm given a shot at leaving and not worrying about any more of this shit." But I realize that I have nowhere to go now. I could line up another school, sure, but this time of year I'm too late to make the spring term elsewhere, I'd have to wait for the fall term, over a year away. Bah. And I think, "Well, I could get a job somewhere, occupy my time in other ways," but frankly, I have no other ways.
I'm a bored person, and hence, I'm a boring person. There's nothing to do, la la la, poo, goddamn.
"...I began to think about this idea of stealing a soul on a larger scale. It seemed to me that there were just too many distractions and that people were losing their souls because they had no way of knowing what they had in the first place."
August 18, 2001 (2:34pm): Wow, what a boring day...
August 19, 2001 (3:55pm): I came into the library this afternoon so intent to work on transfer applications and other stuff. But I got here and...I dunno, nothing happened. Something just sapped my will. And I've had a damn headache for the past week. There's something wrong with the muscles in my neck.
And I need a haircut, and I have no money, and there's not a damn person in the world who's gonna help me.
August 20, 2001 (10:34pm): Last week's entries were really anemic. I wasn't very busy, really. Just didn't have much I wanted to say, I suppose.
Damn, it's freezing in the library today. If people weren't so overweight they might save some money on their air conditioning costs.
Everytime I try to work on something...eh, my mind just wanders. I can't string together two thoughts, and that's a big problem. Hrm.
I've been moving books here in the library. It's not so bad. If I have a headache it's 'cause I haven't gotten much exercise, and moving hundreds of tomes of Library of Congress catalog cards usually does the trick.
August 21, 2001 (12:28pm): The weather's very...strange today. Not the weather itself, per se, just what it's making me think.
It's a Black Walnut Festival day today. The sun is beaming bright behind tight-bunched clouds, and there's nearly no breeze whatsoever. It feels like October.
And as Kerouac said, "Everyone goes home in October." So do my thoughts.
It was an interesting day then. Friends were together, and though we all had our own ideas and agendas, we were all working on something in the same vein. I can't explain.
It remains, so far, my second-most memorable time. It's so palpable, I'm afraid I'll stumble into it head-on and not get out soon.
August 22, 2001 (2:59pm): I'm an industrious fellow when I wish to be.
I just moved some books...again. But I kept track this time. I was moving copies of The New York Times Book Reviews, and each weighed an average of five pounds. 40 books fit onto the cart I was using, and I filled the cart up five times. That's half a ton of books I loaded onto the cart, and half a ton I unloaded. Hmm. And I did it in just about 45 minutes.
I'm spindly, but a lifetime of sorting and lifting and carrying comic books prepared me well for this task.
Anyway, my arms feel like jelly again. It's really just my hands, 'cause I was working too quickly and didn't slow down to stretch now and then.
Bah. I want dinner.
August 24, 2001 (10:53am): Dammit...
August 26, 2001 (1:56pm): My feet are sore. I've been walking a lot.
Hum... New class tomorrow. World Civilization To 1900. Should be interesting. Hum...Hrm.
But today I get to move books. Whee. Move books. Damn, I...damn. Move books.
August 29, 2001 (12:26pm): Padiddle. I don't wanna go back to class... Dr. Leland's interesting, but hours and hours of that monotone voice... Ugh.
Let's see, this evening we'll go over ancient Chinese history. This morning was ancient Indian and Greek cultures. Bah!
I feel like going out right now and socking someone right in the teeth. And I know who, too.
August 30, 2001 (9:27pm): I don't like working in this library. Not by myself, at least. Boring as hell. And I have to stay by the circulation desk, I can't just wander around as I please. Hrm.
Should be closing in half an hour or so. It's crowded tonight, though. At least for this time of night. Weird.
My eyes hurt. I just sat at that damn desk for an hour or two, reading non-stop. I can't do that. My mind blinks out, my eyes hurt and my neck cramps.
World Civilization has kept me busy. So has frisbee. Frisbee's more interesting, but World Civilization is nifty, too. Eh, whatever.
Trying to start a drama club here at SIU. Kinda more work than I'm used to. I'm up for it, however. I dunno. I can tell no one's used to me exercising any real authority, and since I'm President, I can already see it boiling down to grouchy words. Ag! Really. They give me furtive glances. They can go to hell, though, 'cause I know damn well they aren't quite up to my level. Bwahahaha.
Take that, oh reader.
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