Behold- here be written the names of the official members of the Church of John, but alas, these are only the ones who are higher in the heirarchy.
| The Mighty and Powerful Evil Lord John | The highest ranking is bestowed upon his evilness, Evil Lord John. There is none higher. All will bow down for mercy when the time comes for him to brutally and mercilessly cockslap you with the legendary Whopper with Cheese. |
| His Holiness Gary Marshall | The Pope of John (also known as The Elder or the High Priest) |
| The Mighty Vicki Henderson | High Priestess of John |
| The Fearsom Ashleigh Beck | Priest of the Church of John |
| Mr T | Head Nun of John |
Do you, a friend or family member wish to join the Church of John? If so, send an email to [email protected] to get an application form. From your answers, Evil Lord John himself and I shall deem wether or not you are adequate material for this mightiest of churches! And, though not everyone who applies can have a prestigious title, we still need many "low" members, to act as human sheilds and ammunition for Evil Lord John's latest invention- The Monk Cannon.