�Dr. Grissom, go home and get some rest,� said Director Cavallo. �You are to take at least 3 days vacation.� As Grissom opened his mouth to protest, Cavallo added, �Or 3 days suspension. One way or another, you are to go home. CSI Willows will drive you.�
Catherine was worried about Grissom. She had been ever since Sara had abruptly resigned 5 months ago. Even before Sara�s departure, something was wrong. You could cut the tension with a knife when the two of them were together. Which wasn�t often. Grissom hadn�t worked a case with Sara for at least six weeks before she left. After she left, he became morose and buried himself in his work. Catherine was pretty certain Sara was at the root of Grissom�s problem.
Things had gradually gotten worse. He was in his 4th straight shift working this particular case. And it was nothing more than a petty robbery. He hadn�t slept in at least 72 hours.
Catherine had decided it was time for an intervention. But she couldn�t do it alone.
She had gone to Cavallo�s office and explained Grissom�s obsession with this case. She didn�t mention his emotional state of the past 6 months. She emphasized Grissom�s importance to the lab and the affect on his health the long hours took. She pointed out the insignificance of the case on which he was working. Cavallo was more than happy to assert his authority and force Grissom to rest.
As Grissom rose from his chair and reached for his jacket, he gave Catherine a scathing look. She followed him out to her car.
�I guess I am to be stranded without my vehicle?�
�I�ll get one of the guys to come with me and drive it over tomorrow after shift. You won�t need it before then.� Catherine could feel the chill coming from the passenger side of the car as she drove to Grissom�s townhouse.
As Catherine turned off the vehicle, Grissom curtly said, �You don�t have to escort me up. I�ll be a good boy and go home.�
Playfully, Catherine responded, �I have to be able to tell the big boss I completed my task successfully. I�m going to make sure you get into bed. Besides, we need to talk.�
�I�m not in the mood to talk with you right now, Catherine. I am perfectly aware of your role in this matter. And I�m not amused.�
Catherine doggedly followed Grissom to his door and followed him in.
�Go away, Catherine. I don�t want to talk to you.� Grissom dropped on to his sofa and kicked off his shoes.
Catherine went to the cabinet in which Grissom kept his liquor. It had been awhile since she had been over for a friendly dinner. But the liquor was in the same place. She grabbed the bottle of scotch and 2 glasses. Walking over to the sofa, she sat down and poured the scotch into the glasses. Catherine handed one to Grissom and took a drink from her own glass.
�Grissom, what happened between you and Sara?�
Grissom tensed. �What has Sara got to do with this?� He drained his glass.
Catherine shook her head and, smiling, filled his glass again. �You and I both know that Sara has everything to do with this. Before she left, you two were so uncomfortable around each other, the rest of us were uncomfortable. You didn�t act surprised when she left. And ever since, you have turned within yourself, delving into whatever case is at hand and acting like the rest of us were�I don�t know, an inconvenience maybe?
�Something happened with Sara that changed you, Gil. Tell me what it was. Maybe I can help.�
Grissom gazed into his now empty glass and shook his head. �There is nothing you can do, Catherine. I was a fool. At least Sara can move on with her life.� He poured another glass and drank it, slower this time.
�Maybe there�s something you�ve missed in this. When we have a case that looks unsolvable, we call in another CSI for a new perspective, to see if we�ve missed something. Give me the evidence and I�ll see if my new perspective can solve this for you.�
�Catherine, it�s personal. And a bit� embarrassing.� The alcohol was making him sleepy and he leaned his head onto the back of the sofa.
�Gil, you have heard so many of the embarrassing moments of my life, it�s time you shared one with me,� Catherine said playfully. Seeing no response, she continued seriously, �Maybe if you talk this out with someone, with me, you can get it out of your system and get some sleep.�
�I can�t sleep. When I sleep, I dream of Sara.� Grissom�s eyes were red and bleary.
�Gil, it kills me to see you hurting like this. Please, let me in. Let me help.�
Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the need to lean on someone. Grissom sighed and began.
�The Linley Parker case was a tough one. It affected us all. Sara more than the rest of us, I think.� Catherine nodded her head in agreement. �After we processed Todd Coombs, I got a phone call.� Grissom hesitated. Sara�s near DUI was not common knowledge and he intended it to remain so. �Let�s just say, I went to Sara�s apartment with her. I guess the case had affected me more than I realized as well. Because all the barriers I had built to resist my feelings for Sara crumbled that night. She needed comforting. And when I opened up to comfort her, my love for her came flooding out. We�� Grissom paused.
Catherine filled in, �You consummated the love you both had been fighting for years.�
Grissom winced. �Yes�and no. I�finished before she did.� Grissom turned red.
Catherine�s eyes opened wide. �Oh�, was the only response she had. �So Sara was�unsatisfied?�
Grissom looked up horrified. �Of course not. I love her. I couldn�t do that. I�finished the job manually.
�But it made me realize what a fool I was to think we could have a relationship. I�m an old man incapable of the stamina required to satisfy a young woman. How long do you think it would be before she realized she could do better? I had to save her the heartache of trying to let me down easy. I had to give her the opportunity to move on.�
�So you told her it was over before it started?�
Grissom shook his head. �I didn�t say anything. I acted as if it didn�t happen.�
Catherine covered her face with her hands.
�No wonder the tension was so thick around you two. I can�t believe she stayed, what, a month after the fact?�
�Five weeks, 4 days.�
�She loves you more than you deserve.�
Grissom stared at Catherine. �She stayed for almost six weeks, waiting for you to come to your senses. Or realizing you never would, but needing to be near you anyway. Until she couldn�t take it any more.
�You men just don�t get it, do you? Sex isn�t about orgasm. Well, that�s not true. If we never had an orgasm, we�d be pretty� well, unsatisfied. For women, sex is more about being as close as you possibly can to the man you love. It�s about sharing the most intimate part of yourself with someone who is willing to do the same with you. It�s about becoming totally and completely one.
�You showed Sara how much you loved her when you helped her climax even after you had achieved your own. I�m sure she loved you for it. I know I would.
�You think you�re an old man. But what you are is a man of maturity who understands that a relationship takes stamina. But you are confused about what kind of stamina. It�s not the sexual kind. It�s emotional stamina that creates a lasting, loving relationship.�
Grissom huffed, �Then I�m doubly screwed. Because I am an emotional eunuch.�
Catherine smiled. �If that were the case, I don�t think we�d be having this discussion. You love Sara. The inability of that love to flourish in the open is what is killing you.
�Go find her. Tell her. Don�t let both of your lives be ruined.�
Grissom sighed. �I can�t. She has moved on. Let her find the person she is meant to be with.�
�And what if that person is you?�
Grissom shook his head and closed his eyes. �Let it go, Cath.� Exhaustion had overtaken him.
Catherine wanted to convince Gill that he needed Sara as much as Sara needed him. But even if it was simply from exhaustion, Gil was finally asleep. Catherine had found out the problem. Now she would have to work on the solution.