Grissom lay on his side, watching her sleep, his head propped on his hand. He had missed this. It was in these flashes of life that he reveled - just gazing at her face, absent of the normal worry and cares of the day. Relaxed, occasionally smiling and sometimes grimacing as she slept � it was those unguarded snippets of time that revealed the raw Sara Sidle that were his special moments.
She began to stir. His moment was over.
As her eyes fluttered open, he smiled and began running his finger along her arm. She smiled in return, enjoying his touch. Her contentment was apparent. In the comfortable silence, they relaxed, secure in their love. This was how life was supposed to be.
�Marry me.� The words were out of his mouth before he knew it.
He didn�t regret them. Instead, there was an eager excitement that he had never felt before. Grissom didn�t have to think about it to know that this was right.
Sara, on the other hand, was stunned. Her relaxed, prone posture changed to one of tension as she sat up in the bed, pulling the sheet around her. She was motionless for a few moments, composing her thoughts. �We�ve been apart for a week. We�ve both missed each other much more than either of us anticipated. But marriage? That won�t seem like such a good idea when we get back into our routine.�
Grissom sat up and took Sara�s hand in his own. �It�s true. I missed you infinitively more than I thought I would. I couldn�t even sleep at night without you in my arms. The longing was unbearable. It reminded me of what life without you was like. I had forgotten. But now I know what it�s like to have you in my life. I don�t want to be without you again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Sara. Marry me.�
Now panicked, Sara pulled her hand from his grasp and scrambled out of bed, as if escaping. She paced the floor, the sheet dragging behind her has she clutched it close.
Grissom looked at his now empty hand and sighed. �I must be an arrogant bastard. Somehow, I didn�t expect this reaction. I thought you might actually want to marry me.� He couldn�t contain the hurt in his voice.
Hearing that pain, Sara stopped her pacing and looked at Grissom sitting morosely where she had left him. She moved to stand at the foot of the bed. Sara wrung her hands unconsciously, the struggle to find the right words obviously not going well.
Unhappy with her position, Sara moved to the side of the bed and knelt, taking Grissom�s hands in hers. �You know I love you. You are in every fiber of my being. I want desperately to spend my life with you, too. I just don�t think we need to be married to do that. What�s wrong with the way it is now?�
Grissom removed one hand from Sara�s and put it to her cheek. Looking deeply into her eyes, he explained, �Marriage is a public commitment that proclaims loudly that you love someone and are devoted to a life together, come what may. I want to make that commitment to you, Sara.�
�You�ve made it to me. Here, now. That�s all that matters.� Sara rose from the floor, moved onto the bed and faced Grissom. Kissing him with purpose, she declared. �And I commit my life to you. Our lives will be shared. We will continue to nurture each other and love each other for the rest of our lives.�
Grissom took Sara�s face in his hands and returned her kiss. �We will.� Sara relaxed and smiled at him.
�But wouldn�t it be more significant if the commitment were public?� Grissom didn�t want to let this go.
Sara leaned back on her haunches with a quizzical look. �Why? My commitment to you doesn�t rely on someone else�s knowledge of it. And I don�t believe yours to me does, either.� An enlightened look came across her face. �And a public commitment would put an end to the secrecy at the lab. If we got married, we�d probably get fired.� Sara looked at Grissom, hopeful that this argument would convince him.
�Sara, there�s no specific policy against our relationship. Besides, do you think we can live the rest of our lives without the lab finding out? When we were unsure about where this was going, it made sense to keep it secret. But if we both agree that this relationship is long term, at some point, we�re going to have to find a way to reveal it. Even if it means losing our jobs. Because spending my life with you is so much more important than any job.�
Risking his job was what had kept them apart for so long. The declaration that she meant more to him than his job, that she was worth the risk, brought tears to her eyes. Grissom got off the bed, pulled Sara up and into his arms, and held her tightly. Sara clung to him fiercely in return.
The shock of Sara�s reluctance beginning to subside, Grissom pondered why she was so reluctant. With the veil of hurt gone, it was so obvious.
�Sara, we are not your parents.� Sara pulled away, shocked, then embarrassed that Grissom had discovered her weakness. Grissom spoke with conviction. �You can�t believe I would ever hurt you. And in spite of what you believe you are capable of, you would never hurt me. Not intentionally. � Grissom took both of his hands and held Sara�s face. �You know I�m right.�
Sara nodded. �In my head, yes. But in my heart, I�m still afraid. I�m sure no couple ever believes they are going to end up like�that.� Sara lowered her eyes, tears beginning to puddle in them.
Grissom lifted her chin until she was looking at him. �Romantics believe that love will conquer all. But love doesn�t solve all problems. It is, however, the beginning to all answers. Solutions come with intelligent discourse. Whatever problems your parents had, for whatever reason, they were unable to resolve them. However, we are intelligent enough to work through any problems we might encounter in our marriage in a healthy fashion. You, we just have to believe.
�And work at it. Marriage is hard work. Anything worthwhile is. You have to really want it to work for it to succeed. I really want it to work. I hoped that you did, too.� Despite his best efforts, the hurt had crept back into his voice.
Sara threw her arms around Grissom�s neck and kissed him passionately. �Grissom, my love, you are the reason that I breathe. How can you think I don�t want us to work? I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Happy. And we can be, for the very reasons you said. But a legal declaration is not what makes a marriage work. It�s the partnership, the working together to solve the problems. And we have that. Well, most of the time. Except when you get an idea and run off to pursue it and don�t bother to tell me. You need to work on that.� Sara gave Grissom her signature smirk.
Grissom had the feeling he had just lost this battle. And that was ok�for now. But he did not intend to lose the war, not by a long shot. But no need to let Sara in on that goal at the moment. With that in mind, he had just one last comment to make before allowing her to move on.
�The paper doesn�t make the marriage. But the paper does surmount a lot of legal obstacles, like health care and finances. You�re uncomfortable with the idea of marriage. I understand why, even though I don�t think it�s necessarily valid because of who we are. Still, I respect your concerns and will let it go � for now. Know that I�m not giving up. I�m regrouping. We will revisit this topic at a later date. If you don�t mind.�
Sara wrapped her arms around Grissom�s waist. �Of course not. I�m always up for a good�discussion. Intelligent discourse is, after all, the means of achieving any successful solution.� Grissom smiled and dragged Sara back into bed. Breakfast could wait.