Miedo

Eddy sat on top of the ledge of the uppermost level of a local Los Angeles Skyscraper. He could see the other tall buildings nearby, making up more than half of the city. The city lights during nighttime all seem so relaxing, Eddy thought while taking a deep, relaxing breath.

The other day, there he was. All alone, no friends to talk to, a family that doesn't know he exists and a job not worth working for. This was not an unnatural scene for Eddy, as he was alone most of the time. Being alone for such a long time, he spent his time up here, on the skyscraper. Every night, he would just be up here, looking. He watched the other worthless souls passing by down the street a hundred and five stories below, and it did not even matter to him anymore. Nothing much mattered to him anymore. But he felt as though he had a purpose in life; his life was not worthless, like those of the people he saw pass by below are, as they were looking like mere ants from the top.

As he was on top of the skyscraper, he loved to think about his life, to reminisce wonderful past experiences, although he merely had a lot. He always thought about this girl, who he met in high school, but never saw her again from then on. He dreamed of being with her, but they were just that - dreams unfulfilled. But he loved the memories, the way she smiles, that alone kept him alive that time. He thought of many different other things, but it didn't really matter to him.

The other day, he saw his family gather round the dinner table, eating their supper together. It was as if he was ousted, even though he made his presence known to them once in a while. Eddy didn't take part in eating, thinking that he had no place in the table anymore. But he paid no attention to them, as he thought that they also have their own lives to live. What pleasant memories were those days when he still had a place on that table. But those days were gone now.

Eddy thought of his job working as a salesman to a local merchandising company selling plastic, everything plastic from Tupperware to stickers, just about anything plastic. Those were forsaken memories, he took the job for granted. But he didn't know until now, the value of those things, of his work, of his life.

John, Eddy's best and only friend left him because of an accident; an unfortunate and untimely meeting with death. They were the best of friends, and he had to leave him. From then he never had any friends, nor values them anymore. That was fifteen years ago. The nightmare still haunts him until now. Eddy was drunk and so was John when they were driving home. But out of nowhere, a huge truck appeared and crushed the car. Eddy suffered minor injuries and spent a week in the hospital. As for John, he was crushed like a worthless nut, just like his car. Eddy was so fortunate, but what was there to be happy about? He asked this fateful question time and again for the rest of his ill-reputed life. He lost his best friend, and he had nobody else to talk to. He had to go on with his miserable life all by himself. Eddy never preferred to have any friends, but he realized this wasn't the best thing to do, as no one could survive trying to correct himself alone.

Back in high school, Eddy had very low self-esteem. The school therapist would schedule building sessions for him. Eddy considered going for a time, but he realized that these sessions were just too much for him. He felt even more worthless and he believed less in his abilities while listening the old hag talk about "faith". One day, his unexplainably low self-esteem carried him too far. Amphetamines were not as available today during the seventies. He turned to marijuana, and got stoned at least four or five times a week. Sometimes even twice in a day. He didn't care about his future, as he thought that the future is just there, waiting for him. During his extensive drug use, Eddy spent lesser time at home. He thought that he wasn't valuable enough to his parents anymore. His parents, though, were worried sick about him, but he just didn't realize that, and he didn't care. The only thing that held him aback was the mysterious girl. But nothing happened. He was maybe too timid or too scared to even say hi.

Life definitely has different its ways with different people, he simply said to himself. He was depressed most of the time during his high school years, and he was as depressed now as he was back on those days. He never had a chance to express himself to the class, or to anybody, not even his parents. Sometimes he would go home, looking as though nothing had happened during the day, ass if he was about to lose his life in a few goddamn minutes. His father definitely knew that his son had a problem, but Eddy kept on repeating his strengthening words: "I'm OK, Pop."

His confidence in himself was extraordinary, if not stupid. He kept on solving problems his own way, no matter whether they were good ways or maybe even evil ways. He had low marks in his subjects, and his mom kept asking him about it. He said that he was doing OK, but his report cards definitely showed how bad he was doing in class. Eddy wasn't stupid, he just used his mind in a 'different' sort of way than others. Eddy thought that he would solve his problems by taking dope, shoving smoke up his nose, but it just brought about even more problems. That's the way life is, he then thought.

Even when he was a child, he was different. The other kids were playing baseball, while he was locked up in his room looking for odd, interesting stuff underneath his bed. He would spend most of the time in his own private playhouse that when he grew up, he grew up differently. His father would ask him to go outside and that they would play baseball or soccer, or just about anything. But he refused, saying that he's got lots of things to do, but he just stayed in his room, doing absolutely nothing.

When Eddy was sent to rehab due to his extensive drug use, he even picked a fight with his counselor. His fellow inmates would enrage him when they were alone, but he kept all of these in his head, until the thoughts finally burst out at the wrong time. His counselor was fatally bruised on the ribs and the doctor reported internal bleeding. The counselor had to stay in hospital care for two months, and would be under medication for perhaps the rest of his life. As for Eddy, he was granted two more gruesome years of rehabilitation and counseling.

When he was finally released from rehab, he realized that he should get a job. But he knew that it was hard to get a job once you've got records of drug addiction and those sort of stuff. But he was fortunate that his uncle offered him a job of selling plastic. But he found no interest in the job and left it. Eddy was unemployed again, this time, a lot more doubtful in finding another job. So he again turned to drugs, only this time he took heroine. Not knowing the side effects of the illegal narcotic, he took large doses which lead to his low eating habits which made him unbelievably lean. He also had trouble with sleeping as the drug causes him to stay awake for hours. Most of the time he took drugs, he was all by himself. The drug put several thoughts in his head, thoughts which were pleasurable to him, thoughts which were from his childhood - innocence.

The painful thirst for heroine made Eddy crazy. The next day, the news reported a local death caused by an overdose of heroine.

Eddy gazed at the pleasant sight of Los Angeles at night. The lights, which were emitted by the tall buildings that surrounded him, made him feel cold inside. He shook his shoulders as if to ward off the cool breezes, but in reality, he really felt nothing. Maybe it was just the thoughts that he pondered that caused him to shrug. Eddy looked down in the streets and again noticed the swarming bodies, which were sooner or later going to be disposed of. Souls would leave their earthly vessels and would need a guide to get them to their final judgement.

***

Somewhere, there were cries. Gunshots were heard throughout the city. There were again one of these "regular" gang wars that the more than two different gangs tried to show the public who's who. The people that Eddy could see from high atop the skyscraper were rushing as if to avoid an oncoming onslaught, which it was. As people were screaming, and crying perhaps for the last time, piercing sounds of the ambulances' sirens echoed throughout the vast edges of the jungle that is Los Angeles. The people from the ambulances rushed to the scene to pick up the victims of the gunfight. Most were innocent civilians. While the ambulances were rushing to the hospital, Eddy jumped from the building at the sound of the sirens. Gravity didn't seem to work against him and he didn't fall to the ground as any human would. He seemed to be gliding himself down, like a strong, willed wind, to one of the ambulances. In an instant he found himself sitting on top of the metal roof on one of the rushing ambulances. While inside the ambulance, the rescuers were trying their best to save the patient's life. There were cries inside, and soon afterwards, they were replaced by the heartbreaking sound of the long beep coming from the cardiac monitor.

The victim didn't make it. The medics gently put down their instruments and sighed sadly while looking down. The man's wife hugged the corpse of her husband, not paying attention to the blood staining her expensive gown, while crying like mad.

The man felt a beam of purple light upon him. He took a look around and he saw his wife crying over his bloody corpse. Then all of a sudden, he felt a strong thug by his hips, and found himself upon the metal roof of the ambulance. He noticed a man facing the opposite side standing in between the red and blue lights of the siren, who was wearing a mysteriously huge dark cloak that artfully flew with the gush of the wind. The odd man turned around and revealed a comforting smile.

"Just in time," Eddy said.

The End

Copyright 2001 by Dominic Sanchez.

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