Dear Journal (11/12/00),
�����I don't know what to do, journal. I don't know what I can say or what I can do to make Chantal believe that I can help her. It's obvious that they've brainwashed or threatened the girl into silence, which is going to be a hard thing to break through. I'm not saying it's impossible, for nothing is impossible for Mel Richard Jamison Clark. No, I'm going to help her whether she likes it or not. This goes beyond me just liking her. I hate to see anyone in a situation like that. I mean, I thought my own parents were bad, but hearing about Chantal's situation... I'm not sure what the plan of action should be, but for now it seems as if something's drawing me to her house. I know she won't be there, but if I could just get a glimpse inside, if I could just get a glimpse into the horrific world in which Chantal lives. That's it! That is what I'll do! I've just got to do it without Chantal finding out that I'm going. She'd never stand for it. But how?
Dear Journal (1/19/01),
�����Things are looking much brighter now, journal. I truly believe that Chantal and I are growing closer than ever, which means that eventually she may trust me enough to help her, and...well, I won't talk about that right now. All I want is to be able to grow to be great friends with Chantal, because we all know that she needs someone to be close to since she can't have a relationship like that back home. Speaking of home, Dad called the other night. He wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year? Of course I was polite and courteous about it all, but inside I wanted to yell and scream at him for not being here with us for Christmas. Anyone can just throw out a common phrase, but to show it is another thing. I don't care what Mama says, Dad isn't all he's chalked up to be. I haven't seen the man in months, don't plan to, and don't want to. My life's just fine right now. But enough of that. I just need to concentrate on school, life with Mama, and Chantal. I have so much to do, journal. So much to do.
Dear Journal (3/19/01),
�����I can't believe what I've seen with my own two eyes, journal! I mean, I had my suspicions, but I didn't expect something like this. I'm sitting here behind this bush now, wondering what I should do. I don't want to rush out there like a madman, for I know that Chantal wouldn't like that. Still, it isn't right for her father to sit up there and treat her mother like that! If I had a phone with me, I'd call the police...too bad I don't. If he even looks like he's going to lay a hand on Chantal, though, I'm taking off. There's no way I'm going to let him hurt her more than he already has. She's gone through too much to be hurt any longer. Though I can't imagine exactly what it's like to be in her position, I can imagine what it's like to be hurt by ones you love. After all, isn't that what Dad did to Mom and me? I know I promised myself I wouldn't talk about it, but everytime I even think about all the pain he's caused us, I can't help but go off about it. One thing's for sure: both Chantal and I have a lot of things to think about when it comes to our family. I just hope I can help her before it's too late.
Dear Journal (3/27/01),
�����I have a lot to think about now, journal. I must reexamine not only my relationship with Chantal, but my life as a whole. I know I said they weren't before, but I'm starting to realize how much alike Chantal's life is to mine. Seriously, we do. So should I back off or try to help her? That's the question I've been asking myself and continue to ask myself. Gosh, my life has become such a drama lately. I mean, the person I consider to be the girl of my dreams is pushing me away, I can't even bear to think about my own father, and I'm getting in the middle of a really emotional situation. Maybe I should go talk to Mom about it. She always seems to be able to calm me down. To think that Chantal's dad dissed her! Man, what a jerk! I don't see how Chantal doesn't just get an axe and get to work on him. I know I would. So much to think about, so little time. Until next time...
Dear Journal (3/31/01),
�����How is the heck did I get myself wrapped up in this crazy plot? Picketing?! My gosh, what is the world coming to? I mean, I hear about world class leaders and adults picketing things, but a little fourteen-year-old girl. Boy, will I have stories to tell my grandchildren! Nevertheless, Gia has been a breath of fresh air for me. This whole Chantal situation had me bogged down, but her bright smile and cheery attitude really added some light to my evening. I think I'll head over to Brent's room to watch the NCAA tournament, but that's if he's gotten over his mad spree yet. He was in a hurry today, wasn't he? I talked to Mom as soon as I got back to my dorm, and she said that my father sent me another letter and a check. I told her to burn it. Why? You already know, journal, so I won't go into details. You see, he thinks I want his money. I don't want anything of his...ever. Mama said I should write him and thank him, but if I did write him, it'd be to tell him to learn to be handy with a pitchfork because he'll need to learn for where he's going. I guess I'll call Chantal and see how she's doing. I just hope that lunatic father of hers doesn't answer. We really need to sort things out, Chantal and I. Who knows, maybe I can get her to join our little tirade against the city. Yeah right, haha. Well, that's all for now journal. Until the next pen...