"Dude, you're not serious. Kim can't be dead. I thought you said she was getting better in your last letter."
Trace faced Forrest and squinted his eyes. "How in the h*ll was I supposed to know that she was going to suddenly start coughing and then die like she did? I'm not the all-knowing One, Forrest."
"I-I didn't expect you to be," Forrest attempted to fix his mistake. He walked up and gave Trace a hug. "I'm so sorry, man. I know it's gotta hurt bad right now."
"You're d*mn right it hurts! It hurts like I've never hurt before. But the thing about this is that the pain doesn't go away. It's going to stay with me, Forrest. It's going to stay with me for the rest of my life."
"No it won't. You'll move on with your life, Trace. Heck, you're freakin' fourteen years old for goodness sakes! You have at least seventy years ahead of you!" Forrest rocked Trace back and forth, issuing the soothing words that he knew Trace needed to hear so badly.
"That's what I thought about Kim," Trace whispered, the tears beginning to come and fall again. This time, though, he wasn't going to try to hide it. He no longer wanted to hide the pain. He knew that the only way that the pain would lessen would be if he let it have free reign. "I thought she had a long time, too."
"Shhh, don't say anything else. Just be quiet and let the tears come," Forrest sat down and continued rocking Trace like a small child, which was what Trace had become over the course of a couple of hours.
"I don't know if I can keep going, Forrest. I loved Kim like I've never loved anyone before."
"This coming from the mack of all daddies? Are you a reformed playa', Trace?"
Trace laughed softly before wiping his nose. "Yeah, that's what Kim did to me. She molded me into a changed man. She made me realize that I didn't have to keep bouncing from one girl to another to be happy. She made me happier than any other girl in the entire world ever could have."
"You think that now-"
"I know that now!" Trace interrupted angrily. "I don't want anyone else. I just want Kim, but now I can never have her. If I can't have her, then I don't want anyone else."
"Now what kind of reasoning is that?" Forrest stopped rocking Trace and looked down at him. "Is that what Kim would want you to say?"
"Don't start in on me with that crap! You don't know what Kim would say! She's dead, Forrest. She's going to be that way forever, and there's not a d*mn thing I can do about that!. She's going to be stuck in a small wooden box for all eternity while I live out a miserable life here on earth. What kind of messed up logic is that? The most loyal girl in the whole world is dead while the Keeper of All Secrets continues living. Why couldn't I have died instead of her?"
"Don't talk that way," Forrest commanded calmly but firmly.
"I'm going to! It's not fair that she be the one to suffer because of my wrong-doings. Now, I'm stuck with the guilt of her death for the rest of my life. Well I deserve it, Forrest. I deserve every bit of pain that I now have and will have. I deserve to die, Forrest. Not her, but me!"
