Truy�.n Nga('n
Ti`nh Y�u Cho*.t ��'n Part 9: By Emily N. Truong
- Yes indeed, Love is really fragile.
- Khi ye^u mi`nh cu*' tu*o*?ng mi`nh invincible, kho^ng co' ca'i gi` ma` mi`nh kho^ng the^? vu*o*.t qua ddu*o*.c. Nhu*ng ddu'ng la` ddo*`i kho^ng ai ho.c ddu*o*.c chu*? ngo*`. Mi`nh cu*' tu*o*?ng ti`nh ye^u cu?a mi`nh ra^'t be^`n cha('c, kho^ng co' gi` co' the^? la`m no' tan na't ddu*o*.c. Nhu*ng em cu~ng kho^ng co' the^? tra'ch ai ddu*o*.c , vi` co' le? ban dda^`u chu'ng em rush into things too fast too soon, ne^n kho^ng co' take time to build a stonger bond.
- Broken up is one of the hardest thing a person go through in life.
- Yup, Em va^~n co`n nho*' ban dda^`u em buo^`n la('m. Nhu*ng em va^~n kho^ng tin ra(`ng chu'ng em tha^.t su*. dda~ chia tay vo*'i nhau. Em so^'ng trong su*. denial. Em cu*' tu*. nhu~ vo*'i mi`nh ra(`ng dda^y chi? la` hai ddu*'a gia^.n nhau nhu* bao la^`n gia^.n nhau tho^i. Ro^`i cuo^'i cu`ng em kho^ng the^? tu*. do^'i vo*'i chi'nh ba?n tha^n mi`nh nu*~a va` cu~ng lu'c ddo' khi em bie^'t ddu*o*.c ra(`ng va` cha^'p nha^.n ra(`ng hai ddu*'a tha^.t su*. la` dda~ chia tay. Lu'c ddo' ha^`u nhu* em lost completely. Ban dda^`u em tu*'c anh ta, em tra'ch anh ta ddu? ddie^`u. Em co^' nghi? he^'t nhu*~ng gi` xa^'u ve^` anh ta. Up to a point where I hate everything that related to him, or in some way remind me of him, but yet within me I also missed him. Ghe't anh ta ro^`i thi` em chuye^?n sang ghe't chi'nh ba?n tha^n mi`nh. Em ghe't em, ghe't the way I look, the way I talk, the way I acts, and everything about myself. I blame myself cho ca'i su*. chia tay cu?a hai ddu*'a. Lu'c ddo' em cu*' nghi? la` co' le? em kho^ng ddu? dde.p, kho^ng ddu? hie^`n, kho^ng ddu? thu`y mi., kho^ng ddu? te^' nhi., va` co`n nhie^`u thu*' nu*~a em lack of. Bo*?i nhu* the^' la`m anh ta buo^`n ro^`i anh ta mo*'i ho*` hu*~ng vo*'i em. Em ghe't chi'nh ba?n tha^n mi`nh vo^ cu`ng, cho dde^'n no^~i ma` em kho^ng the`m dde^? y' dde^'n chi'nh em nu*~a, em ha^`u nhu* buo^ng xuo^i ta^'t ca?. Vi` em nghi? chi'nh em la` ngu*o*`i dda~ tu*. hu?y ddi ca'i relationship cu?a em vo*'i anh ta. Em became so self conscious about everything I do. Lu'c ddo' em tu*. ghe't em to*'i no^~i ma` em dda~ co' nhie^`u la^`n nghi? dde^'n che^'t ddi cho ro^`i. There are so many times I think about dying, mo^.t ma(.t la` lu'c ddo' em ghe't chi'nh ba?n tha^n em qua' va` mo^.t ma(.t kha'c nu*~a la` em nghi? ne^'u em che^'t ro^`i thi` anh ta co' buo^`n kho^ng? Co' le? lu'c ddo' theo em thi` ne^'u em che^'t ddi thi` cu~ng la` mo^.t ca'ch tra? thu` ddo^'i vo*'i anh ta. Vi` em nghi? ne^'u em che^'t ro^`i thi` anh ta pha?i so^'ng trong su*. ho^'i ha^.n for ever. Nhu*ng co' le? em la` mo^.t con ngu*o*`i nhu't nha'c ne^n em never brings myself to actually carry out the acts. Gio*` nghi? la.i em ca?m tha^'y lu'c ddo' em kho*` da.i mo^.t ca'ch buo^`n cu*o*`i. Nhu*ng tha^.t su*. lu'c ddo' em tha^.t la` ma^u thua^~n, tuy em bie^'t ra(`ng vi` sao ma` hai ddu*'a chia tay. Nhu*ng em kho^ng ngo*` chi? vi` mo^.t chuye^.n nho? nhu* the^' ma` co' the^? ta'ch hai ddu*'a ra mo^.t ca'ch de^~ da`ng nhu* the^', thi` lu'c ddo' no' mo*'i cho em bie^'t ra(`ng ti`nh ye^u cu?a hai ddu*'a em kho^ng co' vu*~ng be^`n nhu* em nghi?. Em analyzed and re-analyzed and try to find what was the reason for our so easily break up relationship, nhu*ng cho dde^'n ba^y gio*` em cu~ng kho^ng ti`m ra ddu*o*.c ca^u tra? lo*`i. Va` cho dde^'n ba^y gio*` em va^~n kho^ng bie^'t ddu*o*.c ra(`ng anh ta co' ye^u em qua la^`n na`o hay chu*a. Trong ti`nh ye^u ky. nha^'t la` co' nghi ngo*` vo*'i nhau, nhu*ng em kho^ng the^? kho^ng co' trong khi his actions give me the impression that he does not care. Co' le? vi` em la` con ga'i ne^n em ca^`n closure, em ca^`n ngu*o*`i ye^u mi`nh cho mi`nh bie^'t ngu*o*`i a^'y ye^u mi`nh va` mi`nh co' exist trong tim ho., qua su*. bie^?u lo^. qua ha`nh ddo^.ng hoa(.c lo*`i no'i. Nhu*ng ca? ha`nh ddo^.ng va` lo*`i no'i em dde^`u kho^ng ti`m tha^'y ddu*o*.c trong anh ta. Em kho^ng dde^? y' gi` cho ma^'y when we were still together, but I come to think more about it once we broke up. But then em cu~ng kho^ng the^? tra'ch anh ta gi` ca?, vi` chi'nh em cu~ng qua' lo* la` nhu*~ng chuye^.n nhu* the^'. In that moment of sadness, I made so many crazy choices, and one of them eventually make me end up over here. I will not said that I am completely over him, I do occasionally missed him, and thinking of him, and wonder if he does the same? If you haven't notice that most of my clothes are black. From my glasses down to my shoes, they are all black. Em nghi? this is my way of dde^? tang cho mo^.t cuo^.c ti`nh dda~ che^'t ddi. That why I do not want to start a relationship with anyone. Because I do not want to hurt them, and that will be just un fair to them. Ta.i vi` em kho^ng muo^'n khi mi`nh be^n ca.nh ho. ma` mi`nh la.i nghi? va` nho*' dde^'n mo^.t ngu*o*`i kha'c. I am certainly will not want them to treat me like that, ne^n em cu~ng kho^ng put them in that situation. I will eventually heal, don't know when yet, but I know time will heal my wound. Until then I just stay single.
Gio' chie^`u ba('t dda^`u tho^?i ma.nh ho*n. Tro*`i ba('t dda^`u la.nh da^`n, va` hoa`ng ho^n cu~ng dda~ chi`m ta('t da^`n. To^i va` Steven cu~ng dda~ tha? bo^. xuo^'ng ba~i dda^.u xe la^'y xe ddi ve^`. Tro*`i ho^m nay tha^.t trong, ca? ba^`u tro*`i dda^`y ngo^i sao sa'ng cho'i. O*? no*i a^'y kho^ng bie^'t ngu*o*`i a^'y co' nhi`n le^n cu`ng mo^.t ngo^i sao vo*'i to^i kho^ng?
Part 10
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