Title: Silence is Golden
Author: Raven Marie (Loves Bitch)
Email: [email protected]
Rated: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of it's character. They all belong to that amazing Joss.
Feedback: I will love you forever!
Summary: Dawn, Tara. Two years in the making.
Contents: Dawn/Tara, slash, sex
Notes: I had to write a Dawn/Tara. They're my favorite female characters on Buffy and they have this sweet cuteness about them. It's adoreable.
Note 2: Okay, this is the first NC-17 fanfic I wrote so be gentle. I've tried to write them before but they never seemed to work. For some reason this just came to me and screamed "write me!" So I did.

It was on my 16th birthday that it all started.

Buffy was back, still acting weird because she was 'wrong.' But we didn't know that yet.

Tara had come to my party, despite the fact that Willow was going to be there. Those two avoided each other as if the sight of one another would end their lives.

But she came for me, because she knew how much I wanted her to be there.

I mean, it was my sweet sixteen.

Granted, I was really hadn't been alive...

We've been threw this, no need to revisit that pain.

Were did I leave off?

Oh yeah, sixteen candles on my birthday cake and a group of twenty-somethings singing off key.

They told me to make a wish.

And I did, even though I stopped believing in wishes the day I bleed.

I mean, yeah I got Buffy back but she's different now.

But back to my party.

I wished for a pony, a big house with way to many rooms and an insanely large amount of money.

Didn't get any of them.

Damn Buffy, damn pony.

Willow cut the cake without the use of magic, which was quickly pointed out to Tara.

Xander and Anya seattled on the couch and proceeded to bore Buffy with the pointless details they were planning for "the big day."

I don't know why thy even bothered getting married, they had to know were it would lead them. I mean, I could see Xander not realzing it but this used ot be Anya's business.

She sould have known better than to trust a man.

Willow had drifted upstairs complaining of a headache.

The one she always got when the urge to do magic washed over her.

I had followed her one day but she had locked her door behind her.

But the metal and wood of the door couldn't lock in the smell of burning candles and what buffy called "magic weed."

I drifted out onto the porch, with a paper plate and piece of supermarket cake.

I thought I'd look at the sky, stare off into the bliss and pray to God the party would ended soon enough for me to sneak off to meet Jessica.

I didn't even notice Tara joining me. One moment I was alone, thinking about the test I had tomorrow and the fact that I hadn't even cracked a book.

And then she was sitting next to me.

Staring off into space, thinking about whatever crossed her previous little brain.

We didn't speak for a while. We didn't have to.

It's nice to have that kind of relationsip.

Were you can just be with the person and be comfortable.

Then she asked me what I wished for.

So I told her.

She told me the neighhors wouldn't like a pony.

I told her they could screw themselves.

She had laughed, and smiled that sweet smile of her's.

We talked about a lot stuff that night.

Maybe it was the full moon or the fact that we were both hurting.

Whatever the reason, I opened up to her.

I told her how I really felt being Dawn, the walking, talking key to all hell deminisions and there scabby little demons.

She talked about how meeting Willow and enterng our world had changed her life.

I told her she should have run from us the second she got a chance.

We all end up dead.

She had laughed, not to be mean but because she thought I was joking.

I wish I was.

Finally, Buffy walked out onto the proch and told me to go to bed.

It was late and I had school in the morning.

So I slept and I dreamed of her.

It as cloudy and far off but I remember I felt happy in the dream.

At first I was standing next to my mom and Buffy.

Then they faded before my eyes. I reached out but they drifted away.

I cried for them to come back but they told me they had moved on to a different cloud.

I had cried, told them I didn't want to be alone.

They told me I would never be alone, they would always be with me.

That I would join them again one day.

Then I felt Tara's hand on my shoulder and I turned to face her.

She leaned over, brushed a tear of my cheeck and smiled at me.

No words were said between us.

Her eyes sent a thousands words into my brain with every blink.

With one look she told me to be strong, to go, to live, to let those who die rest in peace. She had reasured me that death was not the end, that it was just a phase.

And she told me would always love me.

And not necessarily in the sisterly way as it had been in the past.

She had leaned over and pressed her soft lips to mine. I had closed my eyes, drowning in the taste of raspberries.

When I finally opened my eyes it was morning and I was wrapped tightly in my blankets.

I think it was that night that I feel in love with her.

Or possibly it was the night I realized it.

I may have always loved her.

It was a few weeks after this that Buffy caught Willow doing a spell.

It was only a simple charm, a good-luck one I think, but Buffy lost it and kicked Willow out of the house.

Part of me wanted to fight for Willow, to tell Buffy she was wrong.

To tell her that Willow needed our love and help, that throwing her out would only make it worse.

But I still angry at Willow.

For my arm, for the magic, for breaking Tara's heart.

Mostly for breaking Tara's heart.

Tara had looked sad when I told her about it.

She agreed that Buffy was wrong.

I lied to her then, the only time I can remember not telling her the truth.

I told her that I had stood up for Willow, that I had confronted Buffy with her mistakes.

I didn't want Tara to hate me because part of her will always love Willow.

After all, she was Willow's everything.

Even after I slowly entered her life, became more than a friend to her I could feel Willow standing over me.

The first time we kissed, I was waiting for Willow to burst into the room and just yelling about how I was cheating with her girl.

But the first kiss had lead to a second and the second to the third.

It was strange, kissing a girl.

I hadn't stopped dating guys after the vampire incident. I had gained a good knowledge in the field of kissing.

But feeling Tara's lips against mine was different then anything I had ever felt before.

Maybe it was because we were both girls or because she wasn't trying to get into my pants (the first time at least).

Or maybe it was because I actually cared for Tara were the boys were just ships in the night.

I was seventeen then.

That night was amazing. It was soft lips, tender skin and touches you could get lost in.

I think it scared Tara.

Her hands had slipped up my shirt, I'm not sure whether she realized what she was doing or not. It wasn't under I gasped with pleasure as her hands rolled over my breasts that she paused.

We had gotten so caught up after the first kiss, which had almost been an accident, that we hadn't really thought about what was happening.

Tara had pulled her body away from mine, leaving me aching for her touch. She quickly rose from the sofa, grabbed my coat from the closet and told me to go home.

She told me it was because the sun would be going down soon and she didn't want me out after the sunset.

I tried to kiss her goodbye, but she had stepped away quickly. She told me she would call me the next day, we had a shopping trip planned.

But she never did.

I left message after message on her machine. I was angry, sad, confused and hurt and she didn't even have the guts to pick up the phone.

I yelled into the last one, telling her that she might as well stabbed a knife into my heart. I had cried that she was a coward and tease.

She called me two weeks later.

Her voice was shaking and she told me she had to go home for awhile to take care of her dad.

I knew she was lying, that she had left because she didn't want to see me.

I told her that if she didn't want to talk to me she didn't have to.

Then I hung up on her.

She called back a week later.

It was two days after my 18th birthday.

I saw her name on the caller ID and refused to pick up the phone.

It was her turn to leave a message on the machine.

She told me she was sorry, that I had every right to be mad and all the other greeting card bullshit you say when you're apologizing because it sounds good.

Then she told me that she was sorry for hurting me, but when I got older I would understand.

I went to her house the next day.

She let me, and we sat on the sofa in silence.

I told her I wasn't a child.

She said she knew.

I told her that I was gay.

Not that it as that hard to figure out.

She asked me about all the boyfriends I had been with.

I shrugged and told her that they helped pass the time.

She had laughed a little before locking eyes with me.

Then we were kissing again.

I pushed her back against the sofa and straddled her lap.

I could hear a soft gasp escape her lips.

I pressed my lips against her's and slipped my tongue into her mouth.

My hands laced around her head, running threw her hair.

She stroked my back and after several minutes pulled my shirt over my head.

My lips left her mouth and began to travel down her neck. I uncuttoned her shirt painfully slow and she shrugged it off.

I reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. It fell away and I took a second to stare at the beauty that was her.

I pressed my lips beack to her lips as my hands began to play with her breasts. I kissed her mouth hungrily as my fringers rolled over her tits until they became hard.

I could feel her moaning and she panted as I pressed my mouth to her nipple. I could feel myself growing wet as I sucked on them.

Tara took control then, removing my bra and licking my tits. I gasped, as she softly bit down on one. She pushed me down onto the couch and leaned over me.

She traced circles with her tongue on my stomach causing me to giggle.

She unzipped my pants and I arched my back to allow her to pull them off.

She removed her pants quickly, and we froze momentarily both accepting what was happening. I smiled at her, letting her know that it was ok.

I sat up and kissed her deeply. My hand rubbed her tummy and my then my hand slipped into her soft, silk panties.

She moaned as I slipped two fingers into her wetness and place my mouth over her breasts again. As my fingers thrusted in and out of her and my lips sucked harder I could hear her moans.

She pushed me onto my back once again and pulled my cotton thong.

My body shivered as he lips kissed my thighs. I could feel myself growing wtter and she slowly made her way to my pussy.

Then she was devoring me, lapping up my juices and causing my body to shake. I ran my hand threw her hair and moaned loudly as her tongue entered me.

I screamed her name as I came, my legs wrapped around her head not wanting to lose her touch.

After I recovered I returned the favor, tasting the sweet raspberry that Tara was. She bucked her hips as I painted a world of pleasure with my tongue.

She came, crying my name in pleasure,

I crawled into her nude arms and fell asleep.

Ever since that day we have been together, in body and spirit.

We didn't have to say the words to know that love was pulsing between us.

I don't know how Willow could have let her go, I'm addicted to her taste.

One day without her touch and I go crazy.

And I realize how lucky I am, to have someone to love and to hold.

Willow once said Tara was her everything.

I never understood what she meant until now.

The End