Kanashii kyuuketsuki

by Akane

(click here for illustrations to this story)

The boy waited in the inn room while the man was studying him in the dim light of the candles. He was used to have hungry eyes running over his body, but this time he felt uneasy. This one was different. Something strange emanated from this being, something he didn't know. Like an aura. A dark aura. Yet the man seemed gentle.

He was tall, with black hair at shoulder length and bright green eyes. He must have been 25 or a little more. He seemed very mature but had still something youthful, almost childish. He was wrapped in a cloak as dark as his hair, so his pale hands and face seemed to float alone in the air. This could have made the boy freeze from terror but the smile on the man's face was the most tender he had ever seen. Tenderness and sadness were what he saw when the man had first looked at him in the dark street.

He had felt danger, too, but this was always dangerous, after all. Some were gentle but some have been rough with him. He remembered the one who has left him half-dead from beating him. It was in the beginning, he was 15 then, only a child and unconscious. He had learnt from this incident. Now he was more careful. But tonight he had no choice. He hadn't eaten for two days and was ready for a little danger for money.

The man smiled at him. That smile, again. A smile that was making his heart melt. He raised a pale hand and played with the boy's blond locks, then caressed his cheek. The boy shivered. Cold, so cold. He took those icy fingers in his hands, pressing his palms against them.

"You're so cold, sir. Do you want me to warm you?"

"I'm sure you'll do it perfectly well."

He withdrew his hand and studied the boy's face again: curly blond hair, slightly sad blue eyes, small nose and pouting lips.

"Perfect...", he whispered.

"I beg your pardon, sir?"

The man turned but didn't reply. The boy was getting uneasy again.

"You know you're playing a dangerous game, young boy?"

"I know it's dangerous. And it's not a game."

He hesitated then went on.

"But I'm sure my life is safe with you."

"Flattery... How could you be so certain? How can you think I won't try to kill you?"

The boy remained silent for a while, remembering what happened two years before. The man smiled at him again. He took the boy's hand and kissed it. Cold, again.

"Why do you play such a dangerous game?", he insisted.

"I told you it is not a game. I have no choice. I need to eat, just like you!"

"Not quite like me..."

Brief sadness passed on the man's face.

"So, you're hungry? Let's eat then!"

He ordered some food to be served in the room. The boy rushed on it like a predator on his prey. The man was staring at him, amused.

"When did you last eat? It looks like you were starving!"

The boy giggled.

"It has been two days, but only bread and an apple. Last time I had meat was... I can't really remember. Maybe four or five months."

The man stared at him sadly. Such a nice boy, full of life and courage. He felt pity that a child had to trade his body in order to survive. But it had always been so. He had known others like him, so long ago.

Finishing his meal, the boy was licking his fingers loudly. The man left his chair and sat on the bed, gesturing for the boy to come by his side. He sat obediently and watched the man take his fingers and gently suck them clean. At least his tongue was not cold as were his hands and lips. In the same time the man was staring at his face with a hungry look. The boy wondered who was seducing who. He stopped playing with the boy's fingers and wrapped an arm around his waist, dragging him closer. He leaned forward and kissed the boy's lips softly, waiting for a sign of reject. But the boy didn't look disgusted by those icy lips... or he was doing his job well.

Actually the coldness of these lips was pleasingly burning him. The man was now kissing his cheeks, then his neck. Cold and burning. He closed his eyes. His head was spinning a bit. He felt lips on his own again, gently brushing them, then pressing slightly. He opened his eyes and the man was still staring at him. Hesitantly he raised his arms and wrapped them around the man's neck. He felt a hand on his thigh, caressing him up to his waist. Then the hand was traveling on his chest, playing with his nipples through the fabric of his shirt. And the man kept kissing him still tenderly.

The boy felt the lips pressing harder on his. Then something wet. The tip of the man's tongue was caressing his lips, tracing them slowly, gently. This he wasn't used to. None of his customers ever did something so sweet to him. He was a boywhore and they treated him as such. He parted his lips slightly and felt the hot flesh invading his mouth, exploring it carefully. The man's tongue was like fire against his, making him forget the coldness of the fingers that had opened his shirt and were now stroking his back.

The man broke the kiss and helped the boy get out of his clothes then made him lie on the bed. He covered the frail body with kisses, tracing a burning path from the boy's neck to his belly. He raised his head and chuckled at the sight of the pleased face of the boy. He didn't seem to be playing any learned role. Good. Returning to his exploration he ran his fingers along the boy's thighs. Pale soft skin. He leaned to kiss this offered velvet. The boy was moaning softly. He moaned louder when he felt agile fingers gently stroking his cock and let out a gasp when the fingers were replaced by the tip of a hot wet tongue. So good... most of the time it was his own role. Pleasing his customers. This time it was the opposite. Was the man going to hurt him for reward? Pushing the idea apart he focused on his own feelings.

The man paused for a while. Pulling him in a sitting position, he smiled at the boy and kissed his lips.

"Do you like it?"

The boy nodded and embraced him. The sensation of this body against him was making him feel safe. All fear had disappeared. He felt the man's fingers on his cock again, stroking him harder this time.

"You're mine, little one."

The boy's moan was his only answer.

"Let me drink from your heart.", the man whispered in his ear.

Strange feeling on his skin. Pain, then pleasure. Indescribable pleasure. Then fear. What was this man doing to his neck? What was this sound? Suddenly he understood. It was the sound of suction. Someone was drinking and swallowing... the man was drinking, drinking from him! His blood... The boy screamed with fear but the man silenced him with his hand. Smaller hands were tugging at the man's shirt, trying to pull him away. But he didn't care, the boy wasn't strong enough.

The blood was sweet on his tongue. He could feel the boy's fear in it, and other emotions. All the feelings that this body enclosed. Hatred, for all these men who used him, and for himself for offering them his body. But also hope and courage. And above all he felt love, the feeling the boy was craving for, ready to give it in return. But it was something his life didn't allow him. The vampire felt a sudden compassion for the boy when he realized how similar they were. Both rejected.

"No!" He withdrew his fangs from the tender neck, hoping he could spare the boy. But the hands that were gripping his shirt had slid away from him, resting on the bed. Motionless. He looked at the boy's face. His eyes were closed and he was frowning with pain. A single tear had rolled on his cheek. The vampire wiped it with his own cheek. The boy's skin felt so smooth. Never to be stroked again, never to be kissed again.

Cautiously the vampire placed the lifeless body on the bed, lying by his side. Lightly he caressed the boy's cheek. He realized he was acting like he wanted to avoid waking him, but the boy was dead. He started weeping at that thought, still caressing the motionless face. He leaned and rested his head on the boy's chest, his tears mingling with the boy's sweat.

Why did he have to do that again? He was damned. Forced to kill against his will. He knew from the start that the boy was going to die, that he would kill him like he did to the others. But he had hoped he would be stronger this time, that he would resist his thirst. He always hoped so. But always failed.

"You were the one I was looking for", he whispered to the boy, "the one to share my life of endless sadness, the one who could have put an end to my suffering by letting me love you. And I didn't see it, I didn't recognize you. I'm damned!"

All he could do now was cry and listen to the silence filling the room, only disturbed by his own tears and the sound of his heart. His heart beating strangely. Loud then faint. He opened his eyes, frowning. There was something unusual in this sound. Like... two hearts... He shivered at the thought. Impossible, the boy was dead. Were did that weak moan come from, then? Confused, he raised his head from the boy's chest, to see his eyes opening. The boy blinked then focused on the vampire's face.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The boy was alive. He reached for him and took him in his arms, the boy's heart beating against his own chest. He never saw one of his victims returning from the dead before. This wasn't possible; did it mean the boy had been sent back for him?

"Monster!"

The boy's voice startled him. Nothing left in it from the boy he had met a few hours before. There was no love in this voice, only hate, worse than ever.

"I trusted you and you killed me. Monster!"

Escaping from the arms that were grasping him, the boy dressed quickly and ran to the door, followed by a desperate vampire.

"Wait, beloved! Don't leave me, we can-"

"What do you know about love? I have nothing more to do with you, don't try to follow me!"

The boy rushed down the stairs. The vampire couldn't move for a while. He had failed once again and was about to lose the one he had been looking for in all those years. Shaking himself he ran to the street door but the boy was already running in the busy street. He saw him away and hurried before he would lose him again.

"Wait! Don't run away from me, I'll help you. I'll give you all the love you need."

"I told you not to follow me, monster!"

Still running, the boy turned to the vampire. He was dangerously close, now. What he saw in the man's eyes disturbed him. Was it really love? Maybe he didn't lie to him. No, he betrayed him once, he would do it again. Lost in his thoughts he didn't see the carriage when he crossed the street. He heard the vampire screaming behind him, a single desperate "No!". He turned to face the startled horse. He couldn't move.

People quickly gathered were the small body was dying. The vampire tried to pull them away. Kneeling he took the bleeding boy in his arms. Blood? He had drained him a while ago. This had really been a miracle. So why did it have to end like this? Cold eyes were staring at him with anger. The boy managed to whisper a last word.

"Monster..."

Failure, like always. His life was a failure. The boy was dead. He waited a few minutes but this time nothing happened. No heartbeat responding to his. No curse whispered. Ignoring the questioning crowd he carried the frail body away.

Dawn. His last. Away from the deadly city, the vampire was sitting under a tree, fondling the cold body in his arms. He was ready. The first sunbeams were biting his skin. The pain became more intense. Suddenly he saw flames. So it was true, they could really burn. He had never believed it was possible. But he had hoped so when he had sat under this tree. And now his body was turning to sizzling flesh. The pain was unbearable. Looking down he saw that the body he was still grasping was burning as well. Smiling he closed his eyes and his heart exploded.

When the burned form was found it had become a tangled heap of carbonized flesh. This time the vampire had not failed.

They were one, united forever.

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