by Akane

If the man had turned and stopped to look closely around him for a while, maybe he could have seen a shadow between the trees. But even with his thief's skill, he couldn't have seen the predator that was silently following him. The Vampire was merging in his surrounding, waiting patiently for the best moment to strike. That moment came when the thief stopped to search for something in a hollow stump. The Vampire didn't let him the time to find whatever it was. He rushed on his prey without letting him any chance to call for help. Soon he had taken the blood he needed and had killed the thief, throwing his now useless body on the ground. He heard a soft noise and knew it wasn't the sound of the body falling on the leaves and twigs. It was coming from the trees above. He looked up but there seemed to be nothing there. Nobody, no animal. All he could see was a white feather slowly falling from a nearby tree. The Vampire caught it and looked at it thoughtfully. There was something strange. Birds were supposed to be sleeping at that hour. And this feather was so big... He had never seen one that size. Shrugging he dropped it and went back home.

A few days later the Vampire's need for blood took him for a hunt in the forest again. The moon was almost full and was lighting the woods. It was perfect to find and follow a prey, but the vampire had also to be careful. As he could see, he could be seen. He was following his next meal when he saw a shadow passing beside him. The Vampire looked up where the origin of this shadow should be but this time again he saw nothing. Strange. That was the second time in a few days that he'd felt he was followed. He decided to take care of this later. He had something more urgent to do first. But when he tried to find him again, he realized he had lost his prey. Cursing himself, he looked around for a path the thief might have followed. But a noise distracted him once more. This time again the noise was coming from above.

Looking up he saw something in the trees. Something that was perching on a branch. The moonlight was reflecting on white material. It was feathers. A white wing, on a human body. Just when the Vampire was realizing what he was staring at, the Angel flew away. The Vampire stood there for a while, looking at the empty sky. He couldn't believe it. But he thought that himself was supposed to be only a legend. But why was this Angel following him? Knowing he couldn't get an answer to this and that he wouldn't find another prey that night, he decided to go back home.

Two nights later, the Vampire was peacefully sleeping, his bed bathed by the moonlight. He had forgotten his strange encounter and the previous night had been a lucky one. He had found a prey early and had easily fed on her. He woke suddenly in the middle of the night. He could feel someone's presence but he was alone in his room. He looked at the open window but there was no one there. Looking closely, he saw that there was just a white feather that was slowly falling in his room, lit by the light of the full moon. Getting up he picked the feather on the floor. It was the same as the one he had found in the wood. Pure white and too big to belong to a bird. So this Angel was still following him? He took a book and placed the feather in it then went back to bed.

The following night, as the Vampire was asleep, a shadow appeared on the floor and a shape set in the window. The Angel sat on the windowsill and looked at the bed in the dim light. He waited for a while to make sure that the Vampire was sleeping and couldn't notice him. Then he silently jumped down from the window and headed to the bedside. Sitting on the floor, he just looked at the sleeping form, watching the Vampire's chest move with his breathing. Careful not to wake him, he dared to lean and brushed a lock of brown hair away from the Vampire's brow. Returning to his previous position on the floor, he waited there for a good part of the night, only watching the Vampire, freezing every time the man moved in his sleep, afraid of being caught. But the object of his admiration didn't wake. When the sky began to lighten, the Angel rose and headed back to the window. He turned a last time to look at the sleeping form. With a sigh he jumped from the window and flew away, leaving a single immaculate feather behind him.

The Vampire woke at the pleasant feeling of warmth on his face. But when he opened his eyes it was to shut them again, blinded by the sun rays directed on them. He turned to his side and stretched, yawning softly. That's when something on the floor caught his eyes. A white spot. He got up and went to the place near the window where the object was lying. He picked it up and looked at it with a smile. A feather. Again. This Angel seemed to be really interested in him. Chuckling he went to his bookshelves and took the book containing the first feather. He opened it and took the feather, looking at it closely. It was similar to the new one. He wondered if Angels molted like birds and smiled at the thought of a mostly featherless Angel. Still curious about his discovery, he took the feathers to his nose and inhaled. There was a faint smell that only his Vampire's senses allowed him to detect. Almost the smell of a bird. He moved them along his nose then on his cheeks. They were so soft. He suddenly felt the urge to find the Angel and bury his face in the creature's wings. That would certainly surprise this poor Angel. And he was surprised himself of having such thoughts. He placed the two feathers in the book and prepared for his daily life.

The Angel obsessed him. A few nights later, as he had waited unsuccessfully for a new visit, he decided to go to the woods again, pretending he was hunting. As he heard the usual faint noise in the trees, the Vampire turned suddenly and, flying up, he grabbed the Angel. He quickly took him down and held him on the ground by his wrists.

"Why are you following me?"

"Please let go of my wrists, you're hurting me!"

The Vampire looked at the pained face below him. The Angel was looking at him with innocent and begging eyes, his lips slightly trembling. As the Vampire realized he suddenly wanted to kiss those lips, he released the Angel's wrist and they both sat, looking silently at each other. The Angel started wiping one of his wings from the dust and whit. The Vampire did the same to the other wing, surprising the Angel who smiled at him.

"Thank you."

The Vampire only smiled back and took the time to observe him. He looked innocent, but Angels were supposed to look like this. This one had something else. He looked sad, a bit like a punished kid. Almost lost. Why such a pure and perfect creature was interested in a man like him?

"Why were you following me?"

The Angel turned his head, looking away sadly, but staid silent. Starting to get angry again, the Vampire grabbed the Angel's head and turned his face to him.

"Answer me!"

The Angel looked a little scared this time and answered with a slightly trembling voice.

"I'm here to help you."

"Help me? Do you know what I am?"

"Yes."

"I don't need your help, I don't need anybody's help. The only thing you could do to help me would be giving me your blood."

The Angel turned and sighed sadly. Though he longed to taste the Angel's blood, the Vampire decided to go away before doing something he would regret.

"I must go."

He got up and flew away, leaving a startled Angel behind him.

A few nights passed and the Vampire didn't receive any visit from the Angel. He had noticed that he had stopped following him, too. As he was running the two feathers along his cheeks he admitted that he was starting to miss him. He longed to stroke these soft wings, to look into the innocent eyes again. He sighed as he thought of the trembling lips he would have loved to kiss. He placed the feathers back between the pages of the book and went to bed, quickly falling asleep.

A few minutes later, the Angel arrived in front of the Vampire's window. It seemed to be closed and the Angel didn't dare entering. But his feelings were too strong to stop him. He pushed the window open and entered the room. He went carefully towards the bed but as he crouched by his side the Vampire woke. They were motionless for what seemed hours to them, the Vampire afraid of scaring the Angel, the Angel afraid of upsetting the Vampire. But as the Angel tried to run away he was stopped by a powerful hand on his arm and roughly dragged on the bed. The Vampire looked in the Angel's blue eyes and realized the poor being was afraid.

"I don't understand. You keep following me, you even come in my room, but you seem to be afraid of me. Why are you doing this?"

"Please, release me."

"No."

The Vampire tried to keep his hold on the Angel's arms but the pleading look in those eyes made him feel weak. And these lips... He shook himself and only allowed himself to free one of the Angel's arms.

"I'm still waiting for your explanations: why are you here?"

"I already told you, I want to help you."

"But why?!"

The Angel blushed slightly and looked down.

"Because... I think I love you."

The Vampire looked at him astonished then released him. He laughed but the Angel couldn't find out if it was mockingly or just from surprise. When the room became silent again, they were looking at each other, each trying to find what was in the other's mind. The Vampire suddenly realized that what he had wanted for a few days was finally happening. The Angel was back, close to him. But he didn't know what to do with him. He raised a hand and pressed his palm against the Angel's cheek, wonderfully smooth under his fingers. He had held a baby in his arms, once, and he remembered that the baby's skin was almost as smooth. As he let his fingers slide along the Angel's face he felt surprisingly well. Maybe what was said about Angels was true. Maybe he was able to bring peace only by his presence.

"I understand that Angels are supposed to love all human beings, but there is no way you can save my soul."

"It has nothing to do with saving your soul. At least not the way you think. It's just about love. I'm sure you can learn to love."

Yes, love. That's how he became what he was now. By trusting and loving someone he should have run away from. At the memory of that past the Vampire growled and bared his fangs.

"Go away!"

The Angel backed away at the sudden aggressiveness of the Vampire. He ran to the window and turned his sad eyes to him a last time before flying away. The Vampire staid sitting on his bed, looking at the window. He regretted what he'd done, as soon as the Angel had disappeared. He had him so close, he even had the opportunity to touch him, caress his skin. And he scared him, he rejected him. Why did he have to fear love that much, to fear his own feelings? He got up and retrieved the two feathers he kept preciously in his book. Holding them, he went back to his bed and laid there, looking at the ceiling as he slowly used them to caress his face. He sighed as he came to the conclusion that the last time he had loved someone had been a tragedy and he would never let something like this happen again. As he held the feathers he felt peaceful as he had felt to the contact of his Angel. His. How could he be so possessive with him? He drifted off still holding his treasured feathers.

He woke the next morning with a strange feeling of loss. Then as his thoughts cleared he remembered his previous night's encounter. He looked around on the bed but the feathers had disappeared. He jumped from his bed and searched everywhere in the room but still couldn't find them. The Vampire suddenly realized that the window had been left open when the Angel had left and he could feel a light wind blowing in. He guessed then that the feathers were lost. He fell in a heap in a corner of his room and wept, without understanding how the loss of mere feathers could make him feel so sad.

Of course he knew the feathers were nothing. Just a symbol. As he was able to keep them he felt he also had a chance to own the Angel. To own someone's heart. He had rejected the Angel and now the feathers were lost. Maybe it wasn't a coincidence. Or maybe he just didn't deserve him. He wanted him, wanted his company, his sad smile, his body. He couldn't deny it, he wanted to make love to him. It was something he had learnt to avoid as he couldn't allow himself to trust people enough for it. But the Angel wasn't a threat.

He wandered in the city all day, feeling miserable. He looked around as he walked, hoping to find the Angel following him, looking at him, smiling sadly as always. But he could only see anonymous faces. He had never felt so lonely for years. In the evening, tired of walking around in the city, he decided to go back to the starting point. He went to the woods and walked silently, trying to look up at the trees without tripping on anything. He stopped just before bumping into something on the ground. As he looked down he saw a familiar shape.

The Angel was lying on the ground. He was looking up at him, his face still wet with tears. The Vampire kneeled and slowly caressed the white wings.

"I've lost the feathers."

"What feathers?"

"You had lost two feathers in my room. I had kept them, but I lost them last night."

"It doesn't matter. You can have all of my feathers if you want."

The Vampire's hand slowly went from the Angel's wing to his head, fingers gently combing the blond curls. The Angel didn't dare moving, still wondering if the Vampire wouldn't try hurting him. The fingers went from the Angel's hair to his cheek. Then the Vampire leaned and kissed the Angel's smooth lips. The Angel blinked and looked at the Vampire, his surprise clearly visible on his face.

"Why did you do this?"

The Vampire smiled at him.

"I don't know. Did I need a reason?"

He stood and offered his hand to the Angel who hesitated before finally taking it and getting up. The Angel had just started to clean his clothes when he felt that the Vampire was wiping the back of his wings. The Angel stopped his cleaning and laughed softly. He turned to look at the Vampire.

"Do you like doing this? It's the second time you're cleaning my wings."

"Yes, I like it. They're so soft... I'd like to bury my face in them... But there's something else I'd like to do to you."

The Angel smiled and shook his head.

"I don't think it would be possible."

"Really?"

The Vampire rushed on the Angel and grabbed his clothes. Almost ripping the white tunic, he undressed the poor surprised being. Wide eyed, the Vampire looked at the naked body before him. He was amazed by what he was seeing. The Angel shrugged.

"I told you! What were you expecting? I'm an Angel, you should know what it means. I'm not a male, I'm not a female. And you can't use my body for what you planned to do, neither."

The Vampire was clearly disappointed.

"I thought you were a boy. Why do you look like a boy, then?"

"Some people think I'm a girl. I think that people see what they want to see."

But the Vampire wasn't ready to accept his defeat yet.

"I'll find a way to have you."

"But you can have me in another way! Why is this thing so important to you? You have my love. And feelings are more important than... this carnal humiliation you wanted to inflict to me."

The Angel turned its back to the Vampire and sighed.

"I trusted you. And you lied to me. You said you didn't know why you kissed me. I'm not as naive as you think, I understood you did it on purpose. I've observed you: you never do something if you're not going to get something else in return. What did you plan to do next? Take me to your place, offer me a drink then offer me your bed? Or maybe you just wanted to throw me on the ground again and rape me there before going back hunting!"

His voice was breaking and tears were running on its pale cheeks. The Vampire suddenly felt miserable. He was really beginning to care for the Angel and he had just hurt it. He knew the Angel had been right, he should have contented himself with its feelings.

"I still find you beautiful."

He wrapped his arms around the Angel's waist and held it firmly against him. He kissed it again, as gently as he could. The Angel didn't try to go away and even leaned in the embrace. The Vampire looked at it and smiled.

"I want to bring you home."

The Angel turned surprised eyes to him. It hesitated at this sudden change in the Vampire's behavior but finally nodded and followed him. As they entered the Vampire's room he sat on his bed and started undressing.

"I'm tired, I need to sleep. Would you like to sleep with me?"

"I don't need to sleep a lot. I'll watch you over."

The Vampire finished taking off his clothes and climbed into bed, followed by the Angel. He stroke the immaculate feathers a few times then grabbed the pale body and quickly fell asleep holding the Angel close to him. As it had promised, the Angel watched over for a good part of the night. As it had done so many times before. But now it didn't need to hide, it wouldn't need to run away. Soon it allowed itself to sleep. It could have gone away but decided to trust that man.

The first thing the Vampire saw when he woke in the morning was the blue eyes that were lovingly watching him. Something had changed in them. They didn't looked sad, as well as the Angel's smile. A real smile, peaceful, almost happy.

"Can I stay with you?"

The Vampire leaned and kissed the Angel who seemed to be resisting less and less. Actually it even dared kissing him back.

"I think I would be really glad to have you near me, sweet one."

The Angel laughed happily and wrapped its arms around the Vampire's neck who found himself pressed back on his pillow. He wondered if the Angel had an age, but he found him suddenly very young. A child. The Angel must have been a child. That could explain why it trusted him so easily, why it let its love be its only guide. They spent the whole day together, the Vampire achieving various tasks, the Angel staring at him and occasionally hugging him as he passed by. Delicious. Maybe being loved wasn't so bad. The Vampire couldn't remember when someone had hugged him like this for the last time. As the night fell he decided to breath some fresh air and proposed to go for a walk in the woods. As he had expected the Angel replied as enthusiastically as everything it had done that day.

They had been walking for a while when the Vampire spotted a big flat rock and motioned for the Angel to sit. Cuddling would have been a better word for the Angel's action. The Vampire held it, drawing small circles with his fingertips on the skin between the Angel's wings. As he was holding it close he could smell the scent he had found on the feathers he had lost. This time it was stronger but also sweeter.

"You know, I still would have liked to make love to you."

The Angel sighed and sat up.

"We have already talked about this."

"I know. Would you allow me to kiss and caress you?"

"I... I'm not used to this. But I think it won't be something wrong."

The Vampire smiled and kissed the Angel's neck. Something tempting. He could feel and smell the blood under the smooth skin. He slipped a hand under the white tunic, tugging to remove it. Soon the Angel was naked again. It felt awkward but didn't try to protest. After all, being naked wasn't supposed to be shameful. It was an Angel. But it couldn't forget what the Vampire had in mind. As he stroked one of its nipples the Angel gasped.

"You like this?"

"Yes. I didn't know it was sensitive."

"I'm sure I can find other places on your body that would enjoy being caressed. I'm wondering... Why do you have nipples and a navel? You shouldn't have them."

"Angels are shaped like humans, that's all. Maybe we're just like them without what makes them corrupt."

"Why do you see it like this? It also allow us to reproduce."

"Are you sure it's always a good thing?"

The Vampire didn't answer and went back to his exploration of the Angel's body, kissing his way towards its crotch. The Angel giggled as the Vampire reached that unusually plane spot. The Vampire lifted his head and looked questioningly at the Angel.

"Sorry. It tickles. I didn't know... Nobody did this to me before..."

"So it's sensitive... Maybe you'd be able to get some pleasure from this part of your body, like humans."

"I'm not concerned in getting pleasure. I'm just letting you continue because you like it."

The Vampire sighed and nipped at the Angel's inner thigh then gently licked it as the Angel gasped. He liked playing with the Angel's body like this, but felt a little frustrated. He couldn't make love to it, he couldn't determine it to try enjoying what he was doing to it's body. The Angel was patient and passive. That wasn't enough for him. He would have wanted to hear it sigh, to hear it moan. To make love to it. There was something he could do...

He went up to the Angel's face and gently kissed it from its nose to its cheek then ended in its neck. The Angel yelped and clutched him as it felt the Vampire's sharp fangs sinking in its neck. It wasn't unpleasant, it actually felt good. But the Angel knew what the consequences would be.

The Vampire drew back with the feeling he was going to regret what he had just done. He watched in horror what was happening. His precious Angel was crying and its feathers were changing, first turning from pure white to grey. It took only a few seconds to them to become black, as if they had been burnt. The Angel turned its tear-filled eyes to the Vampire.

"Why did you do this?"

"Tasting someone's blood, for a vampire, is the closest thing to making love."

"You could have had my blood without doing this. You soiled it, you soiled my body. You destroyed what I was. I trusted you! Why did you betray me?"

The Vampire didn't answer. He couldn't. He realized his mistake but now it was too late. He ran away, not caring to be seen as a coward. Maybe that's what he was. But he just couldn't stand seeing the Angel suffering by his fault. The Angel staid there, looking at the now empty place where the vampire had been only a few seconds ago. It cried, holding its dark wings wrapped around it.

A little more than two years had passed. The Vampire was coming back home after a 3 months business trip. The journey had been tiring and he was glad to be able to sleep in his bed at last. He quickly undressed and got into bed, falling asleep as his head hit the pillow. He abruptly woke with the feeling that someone was watching him. He looked around in the room and listened to the silence. Nothing there. But as he looked towards the window he saw a dark shape. With dark wings. It didn't take him long to realize what it was. He quickly got up and opened the window. He tried to catch the Angel as it was escaping but missed it and started falling outside. The Angel grabbed him and they both slowly fell to the ground, cushioned by the black wings. As they sat up, the Vampire looked at the Angel. He couldn't believe it was still there. And still taking care of him. Hesitantly, he raised a hand to the Angel's cheek. He expected to be rejected but the Angel didn't move.

"Where have you been? I thought you had left after... that night."

"I have always been there, watching you. I have just been careful not to be seen. And I've been waiting for you to come back for 3 months. I came here every night, but your room was always empty. Then tonight I saw you sleeping here. It made me happy."

"It's getting a little cold, here. And I'm naked. I wouldn't like somebody seeing me like this in the street. Come, we'll talk in my room."

He wasn't sure the Angel would agree but as he flew up to his room the Angel followed him, sitting on his bed by his side. The Vampire looked at the dark wings and tried to remember what they looked like before. As he stroke the black feathers, he remembered having wanted to bury his face in them. And he still wanted to, even now.

"I'm sorry for what happened to your wings."

"I got used to them."

"I'm sorry for everything that happened that night. I've been stupid to never let you explain how you had wanted to help me."

The Angel shifted on the bed and smiled sadly.

"I know what happened to you in the past. I know how you became the... being that you are now."

"The word you were looking for is 'monster', I think."

"No! I can't see you like this. You would have been a monster if you had chosen this fate in order to take lives easily. I know you didn't. I know you wouldn't, as you didn't have the choice."

It took the Vampire's hands, squeezing them slightly.

"I wanted to give you the love you needed to enjoy life again, without being obsessed by your cursed fate. I even knew a way to cure you by using my blood. It would have been difficult, but we could have tried. It's impossible, now, my blood is soiled."

"It doesn't matter. I'm used to this way of life. I'm just sorry of having soiled your blood. But... I have realized I want your love, if you're still willing to give it to me."

"I can even give you more than my love, now. But I don't think I'm ready to do it yet."

The Vampire looked at it questioningly. The Angel rose and let its tunic fall. This time again the Vampire was surprised when he looked at the naked body.

"You're a male?! What happened? Last time I saw you you had no gender."

"It happened when you bit me. By becoming impure I had lost most of my powers and I became something between Angel and Human. Something with a complete human body. I had the possibility to choose my gender, then. And I chose this one for you, as you had seemed to like it."

"I can't understand why you're still doing things for me, still interested in me after what happened. You said you chose this gender for me. Did you plan to let me... use your new body?"

"It would happen one day, I think."

"But why?"

"The answer is still the same: because I love you. You have to learn how to love and what love really means if you want to understand. And I'm willing to teach you this."

This time the Angel was the one who grabbed the Vampire and kissed him.

"You started teaching me pleasure, let me teach you love. Maybe we'll be able to bear each other. Did I tell you that I was immortal, just like you?"

The Vampire couldn't believe it. The childlike Angel he had around him for only one day, the one he had missed so much was back, hugging him, smiling at him.

"You're not mad at me? After what I did?"

"I would be mad at you if you tried rejecting me, now. Can I stay?"

The Vampire hugged him and smiled. He was sure the Angel would be a good teacher. The best he could find, maybe the only person he could trust.

"How could I say no?"

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Notes:

- The sudden use of "it" instead of "him" for the Angel wasn't a mistake. As long as the Vampire thinks the Angel is a boy, I used "him". When he discovers that the Angel has no gender "it" fits better. Okay, that's a detail... ^_^

- I had a bird and seeing it when it was molting was funny: it lost almost all its tail and a good part of its wings feathers, too. It looked a lot like a baby bird. It was difficult for it to fly, then. Try to imagine our poor Angel with only a few feathers trying to fly away from the Vampire's room... And for the smell of the Angel's feathers, if you never had a bird in your hands you can't understand how sweet this smell can be.

- No lemon in this one, just something about love. Don't blame me, I wanted to write something different ^_^

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© Isa Akane B. , 2001