The shrill alarm startled Logan so much that he cut himself, his fingernails digging into the edges of his face as he sat with his head in his hands. Before the cuts had finished healing, he was on his feet racing towards the sound of the siren.
He found Hank crumpled by the door to the containment cell. The door to the cell was open and the woman was gone. Logan felt dread as he rolled the other man onto his side, but Hank was breathing evenly and even seemed to be coming around.
"Hank! Can you here me?"
Hank opened his eyes. "Yes, Logan, you are speaking quite loudly."
Logan sighed in relief. "I though that woman might have pulled a Cabrini on you."
Hank frowned. "That was not her intent. She only wanted to escape, and didn't waste energy bringing me down. Clearly we underestimated her strength."
"It don't make no difference. Where does the damn woman think she can go? This whole place is a compound."
"Unless she didn't want to escape."
Logan went pale. "Remy."
He dashed down the hallway, his mind filled with pictures of the Cajun, exhausted, asleep, practically unconscious in his unlocked room.
They had been stupid, they should have expected some sort of revenge. It was Remy who had undone all her hard work.
Logan seemed to move with unnatural slowness, even moving as fast as he could it seemed far too long until he reached the stair case that led to Remy's room. When he reached the top he could see that the door was open.
He threw himself into the room, barely aware of Xavier on his heels followed by the others.
Remy was huddled against the far wall, his eyes tightly shut, his face pale. He had an arm raised, palm outward, like he was trying to protect his head. The woman stood over him, her eyes shining malevolently. Logan could feel the air between them crackling.
"Stop it." he didn't even here himself speak or pause to unsheathe his claws. He launched himself at the woman, hitting her in the small of her back and bringing both of them crashing into the wall. He fell hard on top of her and he could tell by the way she landed that she was already unconscious, possibly dead. He didn't spare her a second glance but turned immediately towards Remy's body.
The kid had fallen over and was lying disordered on the floor. His neck was bent at an unnatural angle, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. His face was strangely grey.
Logan thought he was dead. Then as he turned Remy gently he felt a flicker of a pulse.
"Logan," said Xavier, "Let Henry through."
Hank knelt beside him. He checked Remy's pulse, shown a light in his eyes. "It was fast," he said. "meant to be a killing blow, but our friend is not dead yet."
Xavier nodded, he turned. "Scott, I need you to get Remy to Scotland as quickly as possible. Moira has an empath there who might be able to fix this. Take the Blackbird. Get Ororo, she will want to go as well." Scott hurried out of the room. Xavier turned towards Logan. "Can you carry him?"
For the rest of his life Logan would hate himself for his brief hesitation, long enough for Xavier to say, very gently, �He�s catatonic. He wouldn�t be able to touch you.� Numbly Logan unfroze and lifted the still form. It didn't even occur to him then to wonder how Xavier would know there might be a reason he wouldn't want to touch Remy. Later he would ask himself with shame how much Xavier knew.
He cradled the boy against his chest. It was strange how light and pliable the kid felt in his arms. Remy barely weighed anything.
He carried Remy down into the Blackbird and then, unwilling to let him go, sat down with the kid on his lap. Whatever else happened in the timeline of their lives, he wasn�t ready to let go of the Cajun just yet.
Hank hurried in with an armload of supplies. He filled a needle with a clear fluid which he injected into Remy�s arm.
�Remy�s mind is shutting down.� He said to Logan�s questioning glance. �That should slow down his metabolism enough so that his brain won�t start killing off his other organs.� He pulled out a roll of medical tape and some gauze. �I need to tape his eyes shut, so that they don�t get injured on the flight.�
Logan tilted Remy�s head back so that Hank could shut the boy�s open eyes and cover them with a layer of tape and gauze so that they would stay closed. Remy looked frail with his bandaged eyes, someone who had been hard used by the world and needed protection.
While Hank had been working on Remy, Storm and Scott come in and taken seats. Hank jumped out onto the landing pad and the Blackbird took off.
Logan didn�t think much on the flight to Scotland. He didn�t think about Remy�s betrayal, or his dawning awareness of the ways he had failed Remy. He didn�t want to think about the future. He just held Remy close against his chest, concentrating on the shallow movements of Remy�s breathing.
***********************************************************************
The empath on Muir was named Janine. She met the Blackbird on the runway, along with Moira and a tall, muscled man she introduced as Drake. �He�s my companion.� She said simply. Logan wondered if this was supposed to mean something to him other than the obvious.
The had brought a gurney for Remy, but when Logan laid him down on it he found that during the flight Remy had wound his fingers around the edge of Logan�s jacket, and now wouldn�t let go. Logan tried to pull free, but he didn�t want to injure Remy�s hands.
�Can you carry him?� asked Janine.
�Yeah. He weighs nothing.�
�Alright. That might be easier for him. Moira said that Remy doesn�t like hospitals.� She paused and Logan nodded. �In that case, I thought we could do this in my office. It�s quiet there and Remy needs to be as comfortable as possible if he is going to wake up.�
�Is there a chance he won�t?�
�I won�t know that until I have a chance to examine him further.�
�Is it likely?�
�In this type of injury there is always a substantial risk that the damage inflicted was more than the mind can overcome.�
�But Remy healed all those people in New York, twenty or thirty. None of them died.�
�Yes,� Janine smiled a little. �It�s extraordinary. Your friend must have a very powerful gift. However, that number itself could be a complicating factor. He was weak before the attack, almost at the end of his strength, from what the professor told me. It makesrecovery that much harder. I have every reason to believe that Remy is a fighter though. This door is my office.�
They stepped inside and the gurney was wheeled in after them. It was indeed a comfortable room, large for an office, with a fireplace that had a fire already lit. Logan might have smiled, if he could have gotten up the energy.
�You can lay him down now.� Said Janine. She reached out and clasped the hand Remy still had wrapped tightly around the jacket. �Shh, darling. It�s alright. It�s time to let go now.� With a slight tug she managed to pull Remy�s hand free from Logan. �You�re his companion?�
�Er,� Logan felt his face heat up, which felt monstrously inappropriate in the circumstances. �I used to be.�
�Right. You will be acting as his anchor today, though?�
�His anchor?�
�Essentially what has happened is that his soul, or mind, or person, or whatever you wish to call it, has been shattered and dispersed. I am going to try to find the pieces and fit them back together enough so that, with my help, he can re-establish a sense of self and then heal the fractures on his own. It would help if I had someone accompanying me who knew him and could act as a guide of sorts.�
�Accompany you?� It took Logan a second to realize what she meant. When he did he tried not to flinch, or let his fear show on his face. It didn�t matter, she was an empath.
A flash of understanding crossed her face. �On the other hand, maybe it would be easier for me to work with another woman.� She turned to Storm. �Would you be able to act as an anchor?�
Storm nodded gravely, and at Janine�s instructions pulled up a chair by Remy and took hold of his hand. Janine placed a hand on either side of Remy�s head and bent her face close to his, like Remy had done with Kurt that morning. It felt like a lifetime ago.
She stayed that way for much longer than Remy had stayed with Kurt. An hour passed, then another. Logan stood at the foot of the bed, feeling wretched. He had failed Remy, again.
More importantly, the full seriousness of the Cajun�s condition had dawned on him. <His soul, or mind, or personality, or whatever you wish to call it, has been shattered.> The words were practically clinical, but the horror behind them was almost unimaginable.
In a flash of insight Logan knew that the hell of the past few months, his feelings of betrayal, would be nothing, nothing compared what his life would be like if Remy were absent from it. No, that was selfish. He could bear anything, he thought, as long as he could know that the Cajun were alive somewhere.
<Just don�t let him die. Please, don�t let him die.>
Three hours into the vigil Logan was sure he couldn�t take it anymore. He was going to cry, or burst out screaming, or laughing-
Janine raised her head. �It�s done.� She said.
�He�ll live?�
She nodded. �Many times I thought that he wouldn�t. The hurt was very deep, and compounded by other factors in his life. But he is a fighter. He kept fighting, long after I might have given up in exhaustion.� Her hands shook on the table. Her skin looked clammy in the light from the fire. Drake came up and put his hands on her shoulders. She sagged back against him with relief.
�I need to rest a little.� She said. �You will stay with him?� Storm nodded.
Drake sat in a chair by the fire and pulled Janine onto his lap. Her head rested against his shoulder, and her eyes half-closed, trancelike as he ran his fingers over her head talking to her softly.
Storm lay her head down at Remy�s side. She stroked his hand, murmuring to him softly. Logan couldn�t make out the words. He stood by the door, feeling awkward and out of place. He thought he should leave, but he didn�t have anyplace to go, besides, he wanted to stay by Remy, much good it would do anyone.
After a few minutes Drake called softly, �Here, come sit down. You make me nervous with your lurking.�
Logan crossed towards him. �Will I wake her?� he nodded towards Janine.
Drake chuckled. �Her? No, you could ride the hounds of hell through here dressed as clowns and she wouldn�t stir. It�s always like that after she works. There�s liquor in that cabinet over there, if you need a drink. I know I could go for one.�
Logan opened the door of the low cabinet and found a well stocked liquor cabinet, he considered Maker�s, but the smell brought unpleasant associations from the morning. He chose Scotch instead and poured each of them a healthy serving.
�Thanks,� said Drake. He took a sip and leaned his head back.
�Tired?� asked Logan. He felt like his head would fall off himself, but Drake shook his head.
�Not really. I feel for her of course, especially after today, when it was such a hard case. I honestly think that if it had been anyone else�any other stranger I mean, she might have let them go. But she really wanted to save that kid, hell we all did after learning what he�d done. Apart from anything nobler, we need a force like that.� He paused and took another sip. �Besides,� he added, indicating the sleeping figure in his lap, �this doesn�t take anything out of a person, it sort of nice you know. Well, of course you <do> know.�
�No.� said Logan. �I don�t know.�
Drake frowned. �I thought you said you were Remy�s companion.�
�I was. I mean�that is we were lovers, if you could call it that.�
�Oh.� Drake paused again. �So you never shared anything.�
Something in the way he put the emphasis made Logan sense that he wasn�t talking about discussing traumatic childhoods. �I honestly couldn�t even say I knew what you were talking about.�
�Oh. Well, you know, it�s not uncommon. A lot of people prefer empathic lovers, there aren�t nearly enough to go around. If you don�t abide by the more intense aspects of the relationship, well then I guess it shouldn�t be considered any worse than casual sex between any two people.� Something in Drake�s tone made it clear he did think it was worse.
Logan was too tired to make sense of any of this. He might have gotten annoyed, but right now he was just too tired. �I�m sorry, I really don�t have the faintest idea what you�re talking about.�
�I was talking about the empathic link.�
�Remy and I never had any link. I didn�t even know he was an empath until this morning.�
�But you said you were lovers. I don�t understand, what about the sex, you must have felt�� Drake stopped abruptly and blushed a little. �Sorry. That was way too personal.�
It seemed like Drake thought he would have known about Remy from�.. Something in Logan�s mind dropped into place. �No, that�s alright. Actually it answers a question I�ve had for a few months.�
Drake smiled a little. �Janine said he�d saved twenty-six people in less than 2 months. He must have done it all alone. Imagine.� His voice was soft and filled with something close to awe. �No wonder she wanted to save him so badly. I don�t even know how an empath could do s third of that on their own.�
�How else would they do it?�
�You�ve really never met an empath before have you?�
�Not that I knew about. In reality, who knows? All my friends could be empaths at the rate I�m going today.�
Drake smiled again, but it was tinged with sadness. �There are more difficult mutations to have, I�m sure, but I don�t know one that is harder to carry. To be empathic is always to be under siege from the emotions of other people. Most empaths learn to build walls at an early age to protect themselves. If the walls are not good, then they will die young, usually from a stroke, or some sort of edema, brought on by the constant bombardment they endure. If the walls are good, most of them will live their lives in isolation, unable or unwilling to let anyone get close to them. I doubt that some even know what closeness between two people is.�
�But you have Janine.�
�Yes. Janine. I love her more than I can say, but even she wasn�t much better off than that at first. When I met her she was addicted to pain killers, sometimes cut with morphine. Many of the empaths are addicts, especially the ones that work for the good of others. The backlash after bringing someone back from an emotional trauma is very, very rough. Most empathic healers seek refuge in something to cut the effects of the pain they have to take into themselves.�
An image Remy standing at the window with the flask, or creeping home late at night reeking of bourbon flashed before Logan�s eyes. �Janine isn�t addicted anymore?�
�No. It was hard at first, but we found that she was able to heal herself through me somehow. It is what we call the partnership. She restores herself in me.�
The thought made Logan shudder a little. �Does it hurt?�
�No, nor does it make me weak. Quite the opposite really, it is pleasant, just a feeling of intense closeness. In addition I can feel her gaining strength, which, since I love her, is quite gratifying.� He dropped a kiss on her forehead. �I assure you I would do much, much worse for her.�
Suddenly Logan couldn�t bear to sit there anymore. He stood up. �I�m sorry,� he said, �I have to�Please excuse me.� He all but rushed out of the room. His hands were shaking.
Seeing Drake cradle Janine on his lap tore at his heart. He was filled with a sort of longing he had never experienced before, longing to be that close to someone�no, not someone, Remy.
<It should have been me holding him this afternoon.> He tired to imagine what life would have been like if things had bee different. <If Remy had told me the truth. If I hadn�t been so�damaged.> But he was, and Remy hadn�t, and even if Logan were able to forgive, he didn�t see a happy ending in store.