Scott didn't say anything when he stepped aboard the Blackbird five minutes later and found Logan there, strapped into his regular seat, a row behind where Remy and Moira were seated.
He sat down at the helm. For a second he seemed to sag. He looked at the controls blankly. Next to him Storm looked up concerned.
"Scott are you alright?"
He nodded.
"Are you in any pain? The connection with Jean-"
"Is gone." he interrupted. "Shattered. She cut it off as she was being dragged into the coma. I think she was afraid of taking me in too. I can't feel her anywhere." He said blankly. "There's just this hollow
feeling in my head." He blinked and put his hands back on the controls. "So you see, I'm fine." he gave a small, humorless smile.
Wolverine sat in the back, his eyes closed. He had come along for Gambit. This one time, at any rate, he could look out for the boy. People were worked up now, it would be too easy for them to use Gambit as a tool, something easily replaced if they broke it in their mission.
<God knows, Gambit wouldn't object for his own sake.>
In the row in front of him, Moira looked over at Gambit hesitantly.
"Remy," she said "there are things I need to tell you, things I need to make sure you understand before we do this procedure. What we are going to do is untested. It is not without risks."
"It don't matter." said Gambit.
"No, it does matter. It matters a great deal. Remy, this machine, it might cure you, but it might not. Worse, if it goes wrong, it could exacerbate the damage further, possibly fatally."
Gambit shook his head. "Doc, I told you, it don't matter."
"Remy I need to know that you understand what you are doing. You need to tell me that you understand that what I am about to do will put you in grave danger. This is not something I should even consider were the stakes not so terribly high. In all honesty it is a breach of my physician's oaths."
Gambit smiled. "Doc. I understand what you are saying. This is my choice. You don't need to worry."
But Moira did not look comforted.
There was a small shudder through the Blackbird. They had arrived in Scotland.
Logan caught Gambit's arm as they were exiting the plane. "You don't have to do this, Gambit. Don't let them force you into it."
"What you talking about?" asked Gambit. "From the sound of it, this is the only chance we got."
"From the sound of it, this is hopeless. They're just asking you to sacrifice yourself for no good reason. You could die."
"And if I did? What would be so bad about that?"
Logan could hear Gambit trying to be gentle, trying to figure out what Logan needed to
hear. Gambit smiled and ran a finger tip down the corner of Logan's jaw, a strangely intimate gesture.
"You got to let go, cher. Everyone knows it but you."
Scott watched Logan narrowly as Gambit passed. "Don't do anything stupid Wolverine."
"Stupid?" spat Logan. "Stupid like send a kid to the slaughter?"
"You know I don't have a choice."
"Bullshit! Bullshit. What I know is that your honey is dying and you'd rather anyone paid that price but you. Better anyone die but Jean, right Cyke? And if she goes then what the fuck does some gimp kid
matter anyway?"
"Say that again." said Scott turning on him. "You look me in the eye and you say that again. I have paid the price for this team, Logan. I have paid the price many times. Now I don't want Remy hurt any worse,
but if it's the only chance we have of saving every telepath on this earth I will carry that risk and those repercussions. I'm going to carry them either way."
Moira led them through the twisting corridors of Muir, past the cells that held some of the criminally deranged mutants she was studying, past the libraries and the dormers and some labs, until she came to a
large white room that was bare except for a slanted table and a large machine towering above it, the arm of which extended to a point that hovered above the tables high end. Attached to the table were straps
used to secure the patient.
Logan shuddered. It was just like the table Sinister had, the table where he kept Remy....
But Gambit didn't hesitate. He simply walked over to it and lay back, waiting for Moira's assistants to secure his hands and head. They attached electrodes to monitor his heart and brain activity.
"We're going to be in the observation room." Moira told him. "Just through that window." Gambit nodded.
They walked into a smaller room, filled with banks of switches and flat paneled screens. Logan stood close to the window. He watched as the machine began to hum, and pulse with light. Behind him he could hear Moira speaking to her assistance, her voice calm and professional, and then tense.
But he couldn't hear the words, it was all just a blur.
On the table light danced around Gambits head. He moaned a little, then cried out, a single, pain-filled sound. Moira's voice sharpened.Gambit's arms and legs tensed against the bonds. He screamed again.
The beeping of the heart monitor was going so fast Logan imagined it blurring together into a continuous pulse of sound. Then Gambit screamed again, a third time and much louder. It seemed to
last for hours, but suddenly it was over, The machine stilled. The lights went out. Gambit lay on the table, his eyes closed his face pale. Then he opened his eyes.
Logan knew it had worked before Moira said a thing.
There were no words to describe the change. The man on the table was a stranger, and then, the
next second it was his kid, tired, bewildered and in pain.
Logan pressed his hand to the glass and stared into the face he had never really expected to see again. The blood was roaring in his ears.His kid. His kid. His kid. Home.
Behind him Moira was shutting down the machines. "Let me go in first," she told her assistants. "We'll see how many people he can stand to have around him at once."
"What?" Logan turned.
"His body has been through an unbelievable shock. It's expended most of his reserves restoring his powers. In addition, having been without empathic shields for so long I doubt he'll be able to get any up for awhile. We're all feeling too strongly right now. I don't want to hurt him further."
�Perfect.� Logan growled as Moira turned from the control room. �This just gets better and better.�
Moira approached the Cajun slowly. "Remy, how are you feeling?"
Remy met her eyes with a ghost of his former smile. "I'm fine cher. You give Remy a few minutes to get his legs back and we get this show on the road, yeah?"
"I wanted to run some tests-"
"What tests going to tell you, that you going to be able to do anything about?"
Moira didn't say anything.
"It's fine petite. Let's go."
Remy pushed himself off the table. Logan could see him shaking but he managed to stay on his feet, his jaw tense. Together the pair walked out of the room and into the lab where the others were standing.
"Johnson, Irving," said Moira to her assistants, "you stay here, monitor the telepaths. One way or another I guess you'll know whether we have been successful." The two men nodded, their eyes on Remy held more despair than hope.
The walk back to the Blackbird seemed endless, back through the twisting corridors, the labs, the waiting rooms, the cells that held the subjects......
Halfway back to the blackbird Remy stumbled in the corridor. Logan glanced up and saw that the boy's already pasty complexion had gone ghostly white. He was staring at a door. The tab next to it reading
"Essex, Nathanial".
Logan cursed violently to himself. How could they have been so stupid?
They knew Sinister was being held for observation here. How could they have walked Remy blithely past the man who had caused him all of this in the first place? Through the small window in the door Logan saw Sinister start to turn, saw him mouth the word "LeBeau."
Quicker than anyone could react Sinister struck out at Remy. Logan felt something sizzle and snap past his ear. Remy collapsed to the ground. For a split second everyone stood frozen in horror. Blood began
dripping from Remy's mouth to pool on the white tile.
Then Moira reacted. She hit the button on the wall of Sinister's cell to bring down iron sheeting carrying high voltages to block them from further attack. "Johnson," she yelled into her com badge. "I need you
down in C corridor to sedate Essex stat. When you're finished I need you to figure out how the hell he was able to send anything, I mean anything, through that psyblocker."
"Are you alright doctor?" The disembodied voice came back concerned.
"I'll give you an update as I can." Moira knelt beside Remy. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine petite." Remy attempted to smile again. The result was ghastly on his frail, blood spotted face. "Remy just bit his tongue is all."
Moira looked at him hard. "That blood is to dark to have come from your tongue Remy."
"We're playing an endgame Doc." Remy said gently. "Ain't none of us can do anything about it." He stumbled to his feet. "I thought we was in a hurry."
Logan held out a hand to help Moira to her feet. Her hands were shaking, she looked ill. The others followed Remy silently down the corridor.
Almost to the Blackbird Remy collapsed again. Moira and Scott reached out to steady him but he fell back, catching himself against the wall and crying out in pain.
"I'm fine." He said holding out his hand. His bravado slipped and his voice cracked. "I'll be fine. Just
don't touch me, please."
**********
During the long flight back Remy sat in the back of the Blackbird, as far as he could get from anybody, curled in on himself and shaking.
The only person he could tolerate near him was Storm, who tried to calm him through the long flight, rubbing his back in slow circles, and murmuring wordlessly to him.
"It's worse than I thought." Moira sat with her head in her hands. Logan had never seen her so shaken. "He's not just weak from the procedure, his still injured from what Sinister did to him a year ago.
I should have known that. I should have seen it coming. How could I do this to him?"
"You had no choice." said Scott. "You said yourself it was the only way."
"And what if all I've done is add another name to the body count?" said Moira bleakly.
The familiar halls of the mansion seemed as cavernous as the passages of Muir as Logan followed Remy and Moira down from the landing pad to the lab.
<No time, no time. Again.> It seemed like he never had time to make anything up to Remy. To tell the kid he loved him. Jesus, when had he been able to say that last? To tell the kid he was sorry. He just
needed a second, just an instant to feel the red eyes on him again, just a chance to tell Remy how much-
He felt a hand on his arm. He turned to see Cyclops behind him.
"You can't." said Scott. "Logan listen. I know what you're thinking. I know how badly you want to, but you can't say anything. Remy is in a bad way, as it is. You can't upset him any further."
"Would you walk away?" Logan snarled. "If this were Jean? If this were the last chance you might have?"
"The stakes are too high Logan." said Scott. "There is more than a roll in the sheets at stake here."
Logan spun and hit Scott square across the face. Blood flew. Scott kept his grip on Logan's arm.
"Logan." he said, not sounding angry, just terribly sad, "you know I'm right."
With a snarl Logan turned from him and stalked up the corridor.
Hank met them at the door of the lab. "Welcome home, Remy." he said. "We are glad to see you."
Remy tried to manage a smile.
As Remy moved towards the door Logan stepped forward, this was his last chance. He reached out to catch the kid's shoulder but drew back abruptly as Remy turned, sensing the older man behind him.
All the words in Logan's head melted away under the wide, pain laced gaze of his kid. He could feel the things unsaid shimmering in the air between them. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, Remy raised his hand towards Logan's face. He ran his fingertips along the contours of the jaw, his hand not touching, but so close to Logan's face he swore he could feel their heat.
"Remy-" he whispered, but the kid was already gone. He turned to follow Remy inside the lab.
Hank blocked his path.
"Let me in, Blue." Logan growled. "That's my kid."
"I'm sorry, Logan." said Hank softly. "I cannot allow you to be in here while Remy attempts this."
"Why the hell not? Storm's in there."
"That is different. Storm has a calming presence. She will be able to offer Remy support. You would not be able to serve in that capacity."
"He don't mean more to her than he does to me."
"That is not at issue."
"Well what the hell is?"
"I am afraid that your presence will remind Remy of the pain in his past. He cannot afford to have that
pain thrown up at him at this moment."
Logan stepped back as if he'd been struck. He turned from the door without another word.
Hank watched him sadly. "Forgive me my friend." he said softly, before closing the door and locking it behind him.
Scott watched Remy advance towards Xavier's bed. Looking at the boy, obviously sick, shaking, and in pain, Scott felt the true hopelessness of what they were doing wash over him. A strange disorientation swept over him. How had they come to this? How was it possible that one injured, weak kid was their best hope? That they honestly expected him do what the most powerful psychic in the world was incapable of?
He felt despair rise up to choke him and turned from the window to the room where Jean had been moved, out of the activity surrounding Xavier and Remy. If they only had a few more hours together, Scott wanted them to be private. He knelt beside Jean's side and took up her still hand, preparing for a long wait.
Outside the lab, Logan stood silently watching as Remy placed his hands on the professor's still head.
************
The pain was so intense that Remy felt the knees of his body, a million miles away in the med lab, begin to buckle. He struggled to get control, to maintain his orientation in the swirling sea of despair
and heartache that rushed around him like a vortex. It was no good. He felt himself slipping, falling into the whirlwind of the other lost telepaths, moaning and shrieking, trying to claw their way
out but only making their situation more dire by tearing at the very framework of Xavier's mind. Remy felt his grip his body-- the only exit left-- slipping.
~If you let go now you are all doomed!
The thought pulled him back to himself, set him struggling once more against the current of injured telepaths. All around him he could feel pain, of lives cut short, children dying, crippling diseases, hatred
that shredded the fabric of the heart, all of these and more clawed at him, grasping, trying to pull him back down into the swirling current.
He felt himself falling into despair. He was so tired. So very tired. It felt as if it had been years since he had been able to even smile.
What other feelings were, except for pain, except for hopelessness. There could be no redemption for the likes of him......
~Remy!
Somewhere in the sea before him he heard Xavier's voice recalling him to himself. He struggled towards it, pulling through mob around him, for what seemed like an eternity until suddenly he hit the center, a
strange pliable barricade that seemed impervious to his touch. He banged at it futilely, trying to reach the professor inside, but it was no good. The thing had been built to contain the most powerful telepath in the world, to trap him to his death.
Suddenly Remy was furiously angry. How dare they? How dare they think that they could win in this stupid cowardly way? How dare they match themselves against a man like Xavier?
And He, Remy LeBeau, had not come all this way, had not sacrificed what little peace he had ever
known to be defeated by this stupid rubber wall.
In his fury he reached out blindly towards the wall and charged it.
For a second it glowed red hot, then exploded in all directions. The brilliant light from the explosion rocket through his mind, and somewhere back in the medical lab his body cried out.
Then there was silence. Around him Remy could only hear the moans of the trapped souls still whirling around him. He blinked, trying to clear his mind's eye of the blindness the explosion had left him with.
~Remy?
It was Charles, lying before him. Remy's heart sank as he looked at the man. If he himself were in bad shape Xavier was certainly worse.
The glance the professor shot Remy was filled with a despair that Remy had never seen before.
~Remy. Said Charles, ~Remy, I'm so sorry. Have I led you into death?
~No. Professor. No. said Remy. ~I came to help you. I came here to help you get out of here.
~Get out. Charles gave a bitter laugh. ~We can't get out Remy. There is a wall.
He frowned. ~Come to think of it how did you get in here?
~I think I might have blown the wall up. Said Remy.
Charles looked around again. ~So you did. He said. Amazing.
~Can you give me your hand professor? We need to get out of here.
~We still can not leave Remy. said Xavier. The other telepaths are still trapped, locked in a cyclone of their own and other's hurt. It would be impossible for us to cross it.
~I did. pointed out Remy.
~Yes, but even if we could make it back, the other's would still be trapped.
~Then I will free them. Remy stretched out his hand. Xavier grabbed it.
~Wait. For the first time his voice held not apathy but genuine fear.
~What are you doing?
~I can draw off their pain professor. You know I can. Once they are free of it they will be able to escape the trap.
~It is too much Remy. You can not expect to be able to take it all in and live.
~No professor I do not. Remy stretched out his hand again.
~Remy stop. This is madness!
~You said it yourself professor. We are all going to die if something isn't done anyway. Pity the poor fools who made Remy LeBeau their last hope.
Remy pushed both hands into the vortex and pulled.
The pain engulfed him, tearing through him and forcing him to his knees. His whole body spasmed with the impact of taking it inside himself. Had he been able, he would have withdrawn his hands. How
Xavier had been able to contain this within himself for so long Remy did not know.
Somewhere in the distance Remy heard Xavier calling his name, desperately.
~You have to get them out professor. You know it. Get the others out!~
He wasn't even sure if he was making a sound. Inside him the current of pain and emption raged on and on.
Then suddenly the current was gone, contained within his own mind back at the lab. The shock of the quiet was so great he let go of his tenuous grasped on Xavier's mind and felt himself beginning to fall.
As he fell he felt Xavier's own grasp weakening. The old man had been fighting for so many hours and was now totally exhausted. Remy saw the life slowly draining out of him.
*******
In the med lab the sound of alarms shrilled. "Xavier's flat lining!" Beast yelled. "Storm, bring me the defibulator. Moira, get ready we may have to intibate him."
Somewhere nearby, Jean Gray opened her eyes to see her husband kneeling beside her, his head bent over her hand cupped in his grasp.
"Scott." she whispered and raised a hand to his cheek.
********
"Damn you Xavier!" Remy shouted as he fell. "Damn you! You can not curl up and die. I stayed for you. I stayed for your work. You can not leave us to it now." But the darkness was rising up to meet him, drowning out his shouts. Then he hit his body and knew nothing at all.
*********
"His breathing has stabilized." said Hank. "His brain waves are showing signs of returning to normal." His hands were shaking. It had been close, so close that his fear was only now catching up with him.
<If Xavier had died.......>
Scott burst into the room. "Jean's awake." He was practically screaming in relief. "She's awake. The link is back. God." Suddenly overcome he dropped into a chair. His breath was shaky. "Remy did it."
he said. "I can't believe it. I never even hoped-" His words recalled them all to their surrounding, they glanced around, searchingly.
But Remy was gone.