Logan was bemused when he woke up the next morning to find Remy sprawled over his chest, with his auburn head tucked beneath Logan�s chin. A life time of battles had honed the Wolverine�s instincts to the point where the slightest stirring of air could awaken him, but somehow this skinny little kid had managed to get under his guard.
Scott called him on the com. �Where are you? You�re late.�
�Late?�
�You need to head into NY pick up supplies. It�s your turn. Remember?�
No, actually. He leaned his head back against the bed. �Shit.�
�And wake the Cajun up. We have a mission in fifteen minutes.�
�No way you�re sending him without me.�
�It�s the rules Logan. You know that.�
Logan grimaced and sat up in bed. It would be easier to argue with Scott face to face. If Remy was going into danger, Logan sure as hell was going with him.
Except he wasn�t. �I�m sorry Logan. It�s the rule. It�s a good one. If your lover is with you, you�ll be distracted. Jean and I learned that the hard way.�
No amount of screaming, teeth grinding, throwing things or physical intimidation worked. All it earned him was Remy coming down stairs and telling him to stop being an ass and get in the car.
Remy tucked a cigar into Logan�s shirt pocket. �You have a nice drive, cher. We see you tonight when you get back, oui?�
So he went, grumbling all the way. He kept his com on though, monitoring the mission, in strict violation of mansion rules. It all seemed pretty routine, a reconnaissance mission that made for pretty boring listening as he drove around the city.
Then everything came crashing down. Logan heard the sound of gun shots, then Scott screaming. �Everyone down!� The com link was suddenly filled with chatter.
�I need a vocal response. Storm.�
�Here.�
�Rogue.�
�Here.�
�Iceman.�
�Here.�
�Gambit.�
There was only silence.
�Gambit?�
�No answer. The sound of gunfire increased in the background.
�What was the last position on Gambit?�
�He was up ahead of me.� It sounded like Bobby. He sounded scared. Where the fuck was Remy?
�Storm can you give us some cover?�
But whatever she said was lost in silence. The com link went dead.
In the car Logan unfroze. He started the engine and pressed the gas pedal to the floorboards. He didn�t release it until he had pulled the car in front of the mansion. He didn�t even bother to cut the engine, just raced through the front door.
�Where�s Remy?� Logan didn�t realize he was screaming.
Bobby in the front hall when Logan burst in started. He saw the gold glimmering in Logan�s eyes though. �Upstairs.� Logan was halfway up the stairs before Bobby had closed his mouth.
Remy smiled and stood up when he entered. ��allo lover. How was-�
But Logan was beyond any ability to banter. �Shut up.� He growled and grabbed the kid, pushing him down on the bed, not rough, but hard. He sliced off the Cajun�s clothes, then stood astride Remy�s legs trailing off the bed and pressed both hands flat against Remy�s chest, and began moving his hands across the kid�s smooth skin, smelling him carefully as he went, sometimes running his tongue over a bruise or an old wound, making absolutely sure that Remy was indeed uninjured.
It was like that first night he had lain with Remy, except much more intense. He was half feral as it was. Remy knew better than to push him in this state, he submitted to the search with patience, and with a kind of understanding that would have shook Logan to the core, had he not been past the point of noticing it.
Finally, when he was certain that Remy was alright, after his breathing had slowed and the fire had drained out of his eyes, Logan stood up. Remy rose, quirking a brow, �The bear has found that his mate fuckable?�
It was not well done. Even as the words left his throat Remy realized that they were not funny. Still he was unprepared for the other man�s reaction. Logan flinched, actually flinched, then turned away to try to hide it. �Yeah,� he tried to keep his voice light. �You�ll do fine.�
�Logan-� Remy stood and walked towards the other man. �What�s wrong?�
�Nothing.�
�I�m sorry. It was a stupid thing to say.�
�What, you think you hurt my feelings?� Logan laughed sarcastically. Then he stopped. �I gotta go.� He headed for the door.
Remy frowned. �You�re breaking up with me.�
�No.� Even as he said it Logan knew it was a lie. Remy stepped in front to the door.
�Move.� Remy didn�t budge.
�Why? Because of a stupid, asinine joke? If you�re walking out of here �cause of something like that, maybe it�s for the best. �cause I don�t always say the right thing, you know. I�ll say something dumb again, I guarantee.�
�You don�t get it.� Logan tried to shove Remy out of the way.
Remy pushed back. �What? What don�t I get?� He put both palms flat on Logan�s chest and pushed him so hard Logan took a few steps back. �Why don�t you explain it to me?�
�This!� Logan unsheathed his claws and stabbed into the plaster by the doorframe, burying his blades up to the knuckles. �You don�t get this. This is what I am. This and this and this.�
His eyes glinted gold again, and he pulled back his lips, showing his teeth with the strangely elongated incisors. �You were right. I came in here like an animal, a crazed, mindless, horny animal. On the good days it�s half of who I am. I don�t know how you can stand to let me touch you. Sometimes I don�t know how you can stand to even look at me.�
He sat heavily on the bed, his anger spent. He couldn�t bring himself to look at Remy. Suddenly he felt very, very old.
After a few seconds Remy came over and sat down beside him. �Logan.� He reached out to Logan�s face. The older man tried to jerk away, but Remy caught him and turned Logan�s head to face his own, running his thumbs along Logan�s cheekbones.
�You�re wrong.� He said. �I do get it.� Logan jerked his head away again. Remy let him, not looking up as he said, �Listen Logan, you prize your humanity very highly, and you should, �cause all your life people have tried to take it from you. But understand that my life has given me very little reason to be pleased by the world of man. I�ve seen acts o� viciousness no animal would commit. Whatever you think, animals are much cleaner than humans. Certainly they be more honest.
�You are afraid of your other half, but everything I�ve seen and everything in my heart tells me that you wouldn�t commit acts of savagery like I�ve witnessed because of yourself, not in spite of it. So I hope you will understand that in turn I care for you in part because of your animal side, and certainly not in spite of it.�
He stopped talking. Logan didn�t respond. Remy sighed. �It�s all I have to say. I think you do an injustice to yourself. Certainly you do one to me, non? Come find me if you change your mind.� Logan still hadn�t spoken when Remy left the room.
Logan didn�t come down for dinner. Remy considered seeking him out again, but badgering wasn�t his style, and he knew it wouldn�t do any good. He ate quietly and went up to his room, sat on the edge of the bed, stared at the wall. He sat like that for hours, trying to get his mind around what had gone wrong, and what he could have done better. Finally he flopped over on the bed. Everything hurt.
�I changed my mind.� Logan was standing in the doorway. Remy looked up, his smile could have lit up the whole sky.
Logan walked into the room. �Look at you, sitting on your bed, trying to figure out a way to make this whole thing entirely your fault.�
�Remy shouldn�t make stupid jokes.�
�I don�t think I�m going to give you credit for my decades of angst and self hatred.� He kissed Remy lightly on the forehead. �I might give you some credit for their resolution though.�
Remy leaned his head against Logan�s chest. �You mean everything to me.�
�And you to me.� Logan thought back to that afternoon, which seemed like a million years away now. He�d been so afraid, so afraid that even now the memory made him cold.
Remy felt him shiver. �What is it?�
�I love you Remy. Coming back today, not knowing what had happened to you, I was so scared. I�m lucky I didn�t kill someone on the road.�
Remy frowned. �Yeah, you are, you got back so fast. Promise me you won�t do anything that stupid again.�
Logan grinned. �Only if you promise not to put yourself in danger anymore.�
�Uh uh. Work�s work. It�s important. You know that. So if you think you�re going to be pulling all this house-mother crap on me every time I suit up, think again.�
Logan did think about it. �We�ll see.�
�We�ll see?�
�Yeah, I�ll work on it. What do you want, blood?�
Remy nibbled his lower lip playfully. �Maybe�.�
�Listen, Remy,� Logan pulled away. �What I said this afternoon, about the animal�. I�ve felt this way, so long, I don�t know how I will be able to change. It�s going to take time. I�ll try, but I�m warning you, you�ll have to be patient with me. New tricks are hard to learn at my age.�
�It�s no worries boss.� Said Remy. �It�s work. It�s important.�
�Sorry about the wall. I�ll fix it.�
�Non, leave it. It will be a sign of our covenant, between the three of us.�