Bardock: Hello.
Me: Now Bardock, I really don't know much about you, seeing as you weren't introduced until later on in Dragonball Z.
Bardock: Yes, it's because of that bastard Frieza. The way he laughed while planet Vegeta was being destroyed...it was sickening. He sure wasn't laughing when my son killed him.
Me: Well, Goku DID defeat him, but in the end Trunks killed him. He came back in a cyborg form.
Bardock: Who the hell is that?!
Me: A hottie. *smiles*
Bardock: Yeah, whatever. My son went Super Saiyan first.
Me: Do you know who Trunks is, Bardock?
Bardock: Ummm...no.
Me: It's Vegeta's son. PRINCE Vegeta, who just happens to be my man.
Bardock: He's a member of the royal family?! Oh, well I didn't know that...
Me: You shouldn't have dissed him.
Bardock *raises eyebrow*
Me: Well anyway, this is an interview. I'm supposed to ask you questions.
Bardock: That's what I thought.
Me: Very vigorous Vegeta vividly viewed vague violet vaginas voluntarily vibrating viciously.
Bardock: O_O
Me: It's my tongue twister that me and Tiernan made.
Bardock: Umm...questions please.
Me: Oh right. Do you like vague violet vaginas?
Bardock: I'm going to leave RIGHT NOW.
Me: NO! I'm sorry. That question wasn't my idea, it was Tiernan's.
Bardock: Who the hell is Tiernan??
Me: My best friend. So there. *sticks out tongue* But you wouldn't know. You don't HAVE any friends. NO!! *hits self in head* Bardock is GOOD. I can't...be...mean!
Bardock: ??
Me: I'm okay...I'm okay...
Bardock: Umm...can you ask me questions now?
Me: Huh? Oh yeah, sure. Umm...umm... *starts to pace*
Bardock: Shouldn't you have thought about this BEFORE the interview started?
Me: No. That's my "Worship Vegeta" time.
Bardock: I beg your pardon?
Me: Read my lips. I. LOVE. VEGETA.
Bardock: Ahh...I understand. You did say something about him being your...man?
Me: Yep. That's it. He's MY man, so don't try to take him from me.
Bardock: Trust me, I won't.
Me: Good. Now let's begin. I think I have some questions now.
Bardock: Well, that's wonderful.
Me: I don't know if you were serious or if that was sarcasm, so I'm just going to forget that remark.
Bardock *smiles*
Me: So anyway Bardock, what is your favorite color?
Bardock: I don't have one.
Me: You don't?
Bardock *shakes head*
Me: Oh well...I guess you don't need one.
Bardock: No.
Me: Anyway...fire or ice?
Bardock: Definitely fire.
Me: I should have known.
Bardock: Yes you should have.
Me: Moving on. What do you do in your spare time?
Bardock: Me?
Me: There isn't anyone else here, now IS THERE? *duh*
Bardock: I guess not. Well, I don't do much of anything. I just sit around and do nothing.
Me: You don't do ANYTHING?
Bardock: No.
Me: You don't breathe or eat or sleep?
Bardock: Well, besides those. They are needed for survival.
Me: Why would you need to worry about surviving? You're DEAD.
Bardock: It's a complicated matter.
Me: You're telling me. But, I won't get into that. I wouldn't want to strain your brain too much.
Bardock: That's an insult.
Me: Damn! I'm trying not to be mean. Really I am. It's in my blood, like fighting is in yours.
Bardock: With all your insulting, I wouldn't be surprised if you had few friends.
Me: Shut up, Bardock. If you're going to be mean, then I will too. And trust me, so far everyone I've interviewed has wanted out of here pretty quick. Don't test me.
Bardock: Whatever. I'm a Saiyan, so I can deal with you.
Me: A DEAD Saiyan.
Bardock: Yeah.
Me: Okay. I'm getting bored, and today is the 4th of July, so let's shoot off fireworks!
Bardock: Ummm...what's that?
Me: America's Independence Day. In the year 1776 the Declaration of Independence was written by Thomas Jefferson, who was later one of our first presidents. He was an excellent politician and writer. The Declaration of Independence marked our breaking away from Great Britain. We were then a free country.
Bardock: Well, you know a lot of this Independence Day of yours.
Me: Well yeah. Occasionally I listen in school. I was awake the day I learned about it. *smiles*
Bardock: And what are fireworks?
Me: Let's just say it's something Saiyans would enjoy doing.
Bardock: Okay. Show me.
Me *whips out a large rocket* Mwahahahaha. I get to play with fire.
Bardock: I think this was a bad idea...
Me: Nah. I know what I'm doing. *lights match*
Bardock *ducks*
Me *lights fuse* Bardock, watch the pretty colors.
Bardock *opens up eyes*
Me: LIGHT UP MY BEAUTIFUL FIRE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *rocket goes off and explodes into color and stuff*
Bardock: Wow...that DOES look fun.
Me: Well, before you leave, I'll give you some fireworks to raise some hell where you're going. Where DO you live? Heaven or Hell?
Bardock: It's Hell either way.
Me: Okay. That's good enough. Okay, one more question and I'll let you go.
Bardock: Alright.
Me: Will you do the Macarena?
Bardock: Sure! *starts dancing*
Me: Mwahahaha...the Macarena is making it's comeback, thanks to Bardock.
Bardock *stops* Wait. I have to kiss you, don't I?
Me: Yes! *bwahahaha*
Bardock: Okay. Not a problem. *grabs me and kisses me*
Me *sigh*
Bardock *moves away* How was that?
Me: Oh, just fine. *hearts float around head*
Bardock: Good. *starts dancing again*
Me: Okay, I guess that's it for this interview. I don't think these are interviews anymore. It's more like a talkshow, but I don't give a damn. Anyway, I'm interviewing Nappa next. See you then! *starts to dance with Bardock*