David Selman went to UC Santa Cruz where he continued his affair with Mal Clumeck. He spent his free time, actually all of it, hanging out with intellectual misfits out of a California Sartre novel. Apparently he found time to study and did rather well, although he couldn’t tell you what his major was.

 During his summers he took road trips with Dan Shapiro and worked in a can factory with Mal where he learned how to make inside out cans and empty, sealed cans. He spent his sophomore year in North Wales where he learned how to speak English and play darts. Back at UC Santa Cruz he picked right back up and developed his interests in chemistry and biology. Ask him who stuck the dart into Rick DeGolia’s knee.

 He was accepted to graduate school at UC Irvine in the Department of Environmental & Ecological Biology, but never showed up. To this day they wonder who he was. Instead he attended some school in Oregon, where he continued his affair with Mal Clumeck. They bought a house together and rehabbed it. Then they started a house painting business. He may have received a graduate degree in Marine Biology, but your guess is as good as mine.

 He eventually got a job in Orange County, CA selling exotic metals for high tech metal casting applications. After 8 years of making his company rich, he went out on his own, and having taken such good care of his customers, they came with him. His brilliant breakthrough occurred when he realized that there was an untapped market for these exotic metals as scrap. He used some techniques that are best left covert to solidify his sources and after paying cash on delivery he captured the scrap market. Then he revolutionized the golf club, metal woods industry by presenting these superior metals at very competitive prices. Shortly he was supplying the metals for 70% of the world market. Needless to say, this had no effect on his incredible stinginess.

 As his past would dictate, he gravitated toward his more colorful customers; one in particular, and the now famous dick putter was born. Several years ago after a chance encounter with someone about to interview Bob Hope, David was able to present one of his dick putters to Bob Hope at the end of the videotaped session.

 David was then rich and famous, but unable to find his match among women, until Dan Shapiro introduced him to Wendy Ravin about 10 years ago. Fortunately for David, she is a lawyer. They have been together ever since and have a wonderful 22 month old son [see picture].

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