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These are some jokes about the field of economics as seen by most laymen.  Some of these jokes are off-color, they are intended to be funny but not to offend.

Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the
opposite thing.

TOP 10 REASONS TO STUDY ECONOMICS

1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."
2. Economists can supply it on demand.
3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.
4. You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face.
5. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they
turned out.
6. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.
7. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".
8. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that
reward is its own virtue.
9. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of
diminishing marginal utility.
10. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An
econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the
economy.

Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is
an amateur economist!

Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an
amateur economist is a professional economist."

A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black
cat (who doesn't really exist) in a closed room with the lights off:
- The mathematician goes crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn't exist inside the
darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.
- The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn't exist inside the
darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to
describe all his movements with extreme accuracy.
- The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spends one hour looking for the black cat that doesn't exits and shouts from inside the room that he has it caught by the
neck."

from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams, Chapter 16.

Arthur awoke to the sound of argument and went to the bridge. Ford was waving his arms
about. "You're crazy Zaphod," he was saying, "Magrathea is a myth a fairy story, it's what
parents tell their kids about at night if they want them to grow up to be economists, it's..."

NATURAL RATE OF UNEMPLOYMENT
Newlan's Truism: An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government
economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

Two men are flying in a captive balloon. The wind is ugly and they come away from their
course and they have no idea where they are. So they go down to 20 meters above ground and ask a passing wanderer. "Could you tell us where we are?"

"You are in a balloon."

So the one pilot to the other:

"The answer is perfectly right and absolutely useless. The man must be an economist"

"Then you must be businessmen", answers the man.

"That's right! How did you know?"

"You have such a good view from where you are and yet you don't know where you are!"

Economics is the painful elaboration of the obvious.

Q. What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's?

A. The economist is the one with the calculator.

An economist is someone who doesn't know what he's talking about - and make you feel it's
your fault.

Economists have forecasted 9 out of the last 5 recessions.

When an economist says the evidence is "mixed," he or she means that theory says one
thing and the data says the opposite.

An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were were arguing about what
was God's real profession. The philosopher said, "Well, first and foremost, God is a
philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live." "Ridiculous!" said
the biologist "Before that, God created man and woman and all living things so clearly he
was a biologist." "Wrong," said the architect. "Before that, he created the heavens and the
earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos!" "Well," said the
economist, "where do you think the chaos came from?"

The following joke is a joint invention of Preston McAfee, Phil Reny and several so far
anonymous writers.

Why God Never Received Tenure at the University

1. Because he had only one major publication.
2. And it was in Hebrew.
3. And it had no cited references.
4. And it wasn't published in a refereed journal or even submitted for peer review.
5. And some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world but what has he done since?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a very rough time trying to replicate his results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he often punished them, or just deleted
them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. He had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

How can you tell when an economist is lying?
His lips are moving.

WASHINGTON DC GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST HUNTING REGULATIONS AND BAG LIMITS

GENERAL

1. Any person with a valid Washington DC hunting license or a Federal Income Tax Return
may harvest government economists.
2. Taking of economists with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is
prohibited.
3. Killing of economists with a vehicle is prohibited. If one is accidentally struck, remove
the dead economist to side of the road and proceed to the nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest economists from limousines, Mercedes Benz's,
the Metro, or Porsches.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "research contract" or "I need a policy consultant" for the
purpose of trapping economists.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt economists within 100 feet of government buildings.
7. It shall be unlawful to use decision memos, draft legislation, conference reports, or RFP's
to attract economists.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt economists within 200 feet of Senate or House hearing
rooms, libraries, whorehouses, massage parlors, special interest group offices, bars, or strip
joints.
9. If an economist is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or
possess it. It will also be a shame.
10. Stuffed or mounted economists must have a DC Health Department inspection
certificate for rabies and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female
congressional aid, sheep, legislator, policy maker, bookie, lobbyist, or tax accountant for
the purpose of hunting economists.

BAG LIMITS

1. Econometrician: 2
2. Two-faced Policy Analyst: 1
3. Macro Policy Wonk: 4
4. Big-mouthed Populist: 2
5. Relevant Economist: EXTINCT
6. Cut-throat Administration Seeker: 2
7. Back-stabbing Senior Author: 2
8. Brown-nosed Deputy Kisser: 2
9. Silver-tongued Congressional Consultant: $100 BOUNTY
10. Wise-assed Civil Libertarian: 7
11. Staff economist: NO LIMIT

An economist is a person who knows 150 sexual positions ... in theory.

This one is from Peter Kennedy's book on Econometrics.

Econometrics is the art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved assumption to a foregone conclusion.

"Honey!  Our son wants to be an economist!"

"Where did we go wrong?"

A young lady was told by her doctor that she only had six months to live.  She asked the doctor what could she do.  The doctor suggested that she marry an economist and move to Montana.

"Why?  Will that extend my life any?"

"No," said the doctor, "but the six months will seem pretty long."

If you have any more that you would like to share please mail them to me at [email protected].

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